Funniest race stories...
 

Well, I was dropping off a friend at his house and we're talking in front of the house... An '80s chevy conversion van pulls up with two kids in it and I'm thinking... "What do these guys want?" First thing they ask... "Whatcha runnin' under the hood dude?" I tell them a 3.1 and they say "Not bad, wanna run em'?" Now I'm thinking... what possess people to do this... I probably could have clocked their 1/4 time with a sun dial and they want to race a firebird? Even though it's a v6 (I doubt they knew what I meant by 3.1) I hope I could've beat that rattling hunk of junk. Anyway, when I declined they're gracious offer to race, the driver attempts to peel out 'zooming' off, I think he got to about 20 mph in 4 blocks before he had to turn. Anyone else have any funny or just plain ridiculous stories to share?
David

good story!

heh heh heh they tried to race you in a van? thats something I would do.
I do remember one time at school where this dude tried to leave the parking lot peeling out and blew his tire, I shouldn't but I still laugh today.:D

haha there are some crazy mofo's in vans. we got raced by a van in my buddy's old 83 camaro on its last voyage ever....

we were driving around, and this huge chevy van pulls up next to us. it was black, and the extended really long variety. it had a small block in it by the exhaust note. The thing was a work truck and it was brand new with pin stripes and chrome rims, and ladders on the rack...this guy starts giving us revs so we raced him and beat him good.

this wasnt an isolated incident though....this guy thinks the van is an indy car or something, he races the thing around everywhere. it has dual exhaust and its kinda loud too lol. hes kinda entertaining actually

search *cough cough* search

Re: Funniest race stories...
 

I would bet that quite a few vans out there would beat that 3.1. I know that the 305 astro vans would almost keep up with my car when I had a 305 in it. Also, some of the new mini vans are getting pretty quick expecially compared to that old v6.

Ben

a freind of mine told me he saw an ambulance tearing down the road with its lights on and everything, the ambulance blew by my freind but i guess he wanted to see what that thing could do, so he punched it. I guess the ambulance had some heat and it acutally walked him :eek: !!

i once raced a fire truck..... not realy but i do have a funny story. I was on my way to work and stopped at a light. I went to make a left and my car went 10mph then started to stop( like it was hitting the brakes by itself) well next thing i know im stranded on the side of the road cuz my tranny blew up( techs. said it looked like a bomb went off in there). I was stuck for an hour cuz my cell phone got turned off( late bill) and no cars were passing by. not too funny fo me but ill just laugh it off anyway.:D

man that sucks, how did you get home?

ha, one time on my way to SAT's last year, a guy in a minivan kept trying to speed past me, so i would just go faster, until we got up to 80, i just let him go, i didn't wanna get pulled over before that long boring test.

i think a lot of people are intimidated by 3rd gens because they're so sporty looking, and they automatically think you wanna race. but even if you don't, and you still walk all over them, it's pretty funny

oh man i almost forgot about the guy in the mazda miata that tried to race me like 4 or 5 times on my way to school. i would always kill him, and then we'd pull up to the next light and i would just be shaking my head. one time i let him win because it was raining pretty hard...

Man, those Miatas are TINY and the people that drive them seem to have huge egos sometimes. They think they can race anything. I saw one throwing revs at a brand new WS6 T/A.
David

I lost to a GEO METRO

as you can tell I have a huge ego

I think the funniest thing i've ever seen was a guy in a challenger R/T (1971 yellow R/T I think) who thought I was racing him. I was getting up beside him to take a pic and he kept speeding up. SO i sped up in my little ol' 93 escort. I did get the pic but after that he floored it the next moment and i never saw him again. I did get a good pic though. ^_^
http://members.telocity.com/wjrneo2/images/chal-rt.jpg

that is a nice looking car

Thats funny, same kind of thing happened to me. I was in my work truck(2001 Toyota V6) There was a 89 IROC(I think) I was grey with shaved handles, lowered, 18's, and sounded awesome. I pulled up to him trying to get a pic and he just floored it, and on the back window it said "got boost?" And I didnt even get the pic.

Brian

I was sitting behind a black 74 Mach1 the other day, so I pulled up beside him and gave him the thumbs up. He smiled and gave it some gas for me. I said bye bye. Was a very nice well kept car. Wish I would've had my camera with me.

One night there was an 86 tubbed chevy truck racing and killing everyone.So I told my buddy I was going to race him.Some 19/20 yr olds were like what do you got and I pointed to my black 85 tinted windows camaro and they were like yea right.So I talked to the guy in the truck and I went and got my car and my buddy told them kids that I was going to win and they starting to laugh.When we launched I jumped out a car right off the line and won by like 3 cars and when I came back them kids were holding my parking spot.They were all excited and stuff.Later a mach1 pulled up and I raced him those kids were acting like they were my pit crew or something holding my spot again and helping me get my car out of the croud and up the the starting line.That truck was a high 11 second machine.I heard later that truck was for sale.
http://camaro85.homestead.com/page1.html

a buddy were at in-n-out burger waiting for a friend to show up and these fugly (fat and ugly) chicks come up in their accura integra (auto) and ask to race my camaro. I told them i would save them the embarasment and they kind of hung around. They asked me and my buddy if we had girlfriends we said no then they asked for our phone numbers we said we couldnt use the phone. Then my friend called and we were going to go to his house I pull out and leave the place and i see an accura behind me. I dont want any fugly chicks following me so i take off and it speeds up i powerslide a couple turns and get quite a bit of seperation. I roll up my friends drive way in stealth mode and the fugly chicks cruised by my friends house 3 times looking for us. That was kind of weird but a cool story. My town is lame that is exciting as it gets.

A response to the Miata thing. When i worked at k mart a fellow employee told me my car was slow and her Miata was better looking and faster. I had my 1969 Mustang at the time. I politely told her she was mistaken then she pulled a can of pepper spray out of her purse and said she was going to blind me. I quit a few days later.

Some wierd people in your town man. Anyway, my first race and first win in my rs was kind of strange. i was out cruising about on headed towards a friend of mine's house and wasn't paying much attention. I pull up to a light and stop. First in line, next to me is and 80's t-bird. i didn't think much of it and just went at the light. I then noticed this guy was getting on it pretty hard so i said what the hell and flogged it (of course it was in second by now and wouldn't down shift) and proceeded to, after a few seconds to get the revs up, walk him. He pulled up to the next light and said that he hadn't done that in years. I asked him what he had and he said it was one of the turbo 4cyl's which kind of suprised me because i figured most of those were tuned a bit and would generally walk me. I guess not. (by the way this guy was probably in his late 30's or early 40's)

Another wierd one was in chicago (Schaumburg actually, north west suburbs). Anyway i was on my way to pick up one of my roommates from his job. it had gotten real damned cold and the pavement was slick as all hell. Anyway this pizza guy comes up next to me at a light just as it turns green. i am just messing around at this point, but i guess the guy thought i was racing him. Anyway i flog it and proceed to spin through 1st and a bit in second. here is the funny part, this guy is winding the crap out of his civic 2dr and is still loosing ground as i am spinning. I finnaly get traction and go bye bye and have about 4 maybe more, but a conservative 4 cars on him when i shut down at about 60-70mph.

Funniest race, wasnt even a race. I used to work at mcdonald's and one of the employees (we'll call him chris) repeatedly used to boast of his "11 second civic" and how all imports are faster than all american cars. I would drive my camaro or firebird to work depending on weather, and one day I said to someone that they should race him with his bike, as chris thinks he can take everything. So he comes up to me and is like we race right after work. I drove my camaro that day. On my lunch break, i went home and swapped cars. I come back, hes like thats not what you drove here, Im like, hey you can take anything. he told me hed have no problem with that POS. Later on his sister comes by with the "11 second civic", and declines a race on basis of shes got a small kid in the car. Well, Im showing her my car, shes complimenting me on it, and Im like chris dont you want to see whats in the car? Hes like I dont care whats in that POS. So he finally comes over, hes all talking about civics and imports, and I look at his sister, and told her what chris had been telling me. "You realize your brother wants to run me for money with your car?" Her response, she hits his and says "chris are you f#^&^# stupid?!"

Oh and for actual race, a friend of mine would brag his toyota tercel hatch from the mid 80's had a racing motor in it. Also that his taurus had a 426 hemi w/nitrous. So I had my firebird, and hes kinda dumb. It had the 305, and was the bondo mobile at that stage. He told me my hooker cat back sounded weak, so Im like okay, Ill eat that tercel. So he goes out dumps the clutch and spits a few rocks at my car. So he takes off of one stop sign and I go around him like a fat chick trying to get the last eclair from a buffet line. Okay, Ill give him another shot. We stopped, he dumps the clutch, takes off, I floor the trans am, an LG4 nonetheless, and took him by literally 15-20 car lengths to about 50 going uphill (I let off the gas for the last half, it was hysterical). Oh well, when he gets his super powered taurus back, Ill run him with my "weak" car again.

is that even possible?????

:confused:

I second that. 426hemi???:bs:

hey dont dis the minivans. i had my moms 2000 toyota sienna up to 110mph. LOL not to metnion that it will lay rubber like a mofo. lol

best burnout ive ever done in my life was in a bank parking lot. i was in my 93 taurus (v6) and my friend was next to me in a minivan. (we were all going to the fair, both cars were full) he revved at me just to be retarded so i set the parking brake and put my foot on the gas. i sat there for a good 4min laying rubber!!!! :D after the smoke had cleared 10min later i found that i had 2'' deep piles of rubber on the pavement. :p

2 days later my tranny exploded. hmmm.........is there a connection???
:burnout:

The funniest race story i have i wasn't even really involved in, just watching. I had no licence yet (only 15 years old) and there was this beater 3rd gen Firebird (6 cyl i think) that pulled upto the intersection infront of the school when a sportbike pulled up beside him (Kawasaki Ninja i think) and he wanted to race the biker, but this biker isn't one of those guys who likes to street race. Anyway, the light turns green and the guy in the bird sees the guy on the bike pulling away, yet not racing, so he dumps the clutch and i could see the car take one HUGE lurch forward at the same time i heard something basically blow up and the engine scream. Tuns out he blew his T5 beyond recognition, lol... i could see the peices when he started to roll backward and the driveshaft hanging on the ground :D

The kid is a bs artist, his tauruws is some pos station wagon he claims he had to 200 mph.

One night I was going down to the races and on the way a couple of honduhs passed me. The trailing one backed off and started pacing me. I had enough of that after a couple min so I just floored it then passed his buddy too. About 3 miles later at the stop light, neither one would come up beside me even though they had a clear lane. :confused:

a taurus with a 426 hemi????? i dont know what kind of taurus you have but my 93 is BARELY big enough for the 3.0 thats in there now. why would you put a mopar engine in a ford car??? and taurus is built to be front wheel drive, dont even tell me you can fit a hemi in there sideways. even if hell froze over and someone really did squeeze a hemi into a taurus, thats the biggest waste of a hemi ive ever seen.

im going to have to give that my official.....:bs:

Me and my friend were driving in his mustang and a kia sephia tried racing him but then the car pulled off the road after my friend swurved at him cause he was so pissed that the kid tried to race him in a kia.

Yeah I dont know if I made it clear, but he didnt do it. I always ask to see these awesome mods, and he always declines. He said its in north carolina. Of course, his toyota also had a racing motor, but he couldnt explain the rusty exhaust manifold or stock valve cover on the "race motor." Yeah, I know some stupid people.

Crazy sounding stuff. Reminds me of a guy that used to a friend of mine. You could call him "Double-Time" since that would be how you could get the actual time to 60 or the 1/4. Get this:

--1977 Olds Delta 88, 2bbl v8, auto, highway gear.
Claims it had a 400 in it, 5 seconds to 60
--1977 Chevy truck, 350 4bbl, auto, ?.??
Claims 5 seconds to 60, said that he THOUGHT it was a powerglide tranny. Uhhh...I think there would be an easy way to figure that out.
--1980 Corvette, 350 v8, auto, ?.??
Not his- his friend's. 3 seconds to 60...:rolleyes:
--Some 4cylinder Japanese car, that he claimed "would smoke that big girl" gesturing toward the Crown. Claiming 155 mph experience in it. On 64 highway, no less. It has smooth straightaways...but also many hills and curves and troopers on the far western end.

He smoked marijuana. Figures. He wasn't like that before.

MINIVANS=Grocery getters
 

Your not going to believe this one im kinda the king of getting tickets in my town and i was driving my moms 99 Taurus Wagon with the DOHC I pull into the store around a turn and the tires squeal. what you know a cop pulls up behind me and to make along story short gave me a ticket for unsafe start. I was trying not to laugh when he was preaching to me and he didnt think it was too funny. I couldnt beleive it I got court on monday I wonder what they will say.

FUNNY NEON RACE STORY
 

One night i was with one of my buddies driving home in his Exlporer with a 5.0 a little Dodge Neon pulls up next to use bone stock this car right down to the hubcaps. He reving his engine so we decide alright lets smoke him shut him up. We blew him away at the first light and then at the next light it was red and we were slowing down and then it turns green the Neon drops it into like scond hear going at like 50 and then you hear this like explosion the cars engine are tranny blew up and all these sparks came from under it it was the funniest thing ive ever seen.

Lol that fat chick one was pretty funny.

My best one was with my cousin. He had an old POS early 80's ford LTD with a 5 litre. The thing was **** brown and looked as bad as it ran. Anyways he had this weird habbit of always putting the car into park at stop lights and revving his engine (don't ask me why, I think it was part of his stall prevention tactics). One day he stopped at the lights while I was riding with him and a blue early 90's cavalier pulled up to us with tinted windows and some chrome rims.

My cousin decides to put his car into neutral and rev it, I don't even think he realized that he was asking this guy to race. So the light turns green and the cavalier takes off and spins the tires slightly at launch. My cousin was so surprised that he didn't even take the car out of park. We sat at the green light for a good 10 seconds while I continued to laugh at my cousin.

Got another one... Parents and I were going out for dinner one night and at a stop light before going onto the freeway, a fairly new Ford Exploader pulled up beside us. My dad says, "watch this guy try and get ahead of us to get on the freeway first." Sure enough, light goes green, other guy takes off and so do we. Holy chit my dad is racing LOL So there we were with our 99 Tahoe pulling on the Exploader keeping the guy from getting in our lane :D The road splits, one way going to the freeway and the other onto the bridge, and the Exploader was at our back bumper still in the other lane having to go over the bridge muahaha Score 1 for the Tahoe :D

Speaking of Minivans you should check out http://www.turbominivan.com It's pretty funny.

As far as racing goes I was at the light minding my own business when this ******* pulls up in a 80's Lilcoln Towncar. He's looking at my car and he starts reving his engine. I look at this POS and that's what it was.

It's paint was peeling off in sheets and it sounded like he had a serious exhaust leak. Anyway he was creeping up on the line and had about half a car length on me when the light turned green. I hit the gas and had a car length or so on him when I finished getting through the intersection. Well this guy hadn't gotten the point so he flys through traffic trying to get next to me.

I see him come up in the rear view mirror and get into the turn lane with me. I make the turn and get up to the stop sign. So the dumbass gets on the line and stays even with me. He's reving his mighty engine and were off when it's our turn. This time I devistate him by larger amounts. I make it through the intersection and leave him in the dust. I make it to the next light and he pulls up again trying the same bit. Like it was a fluke that I beat him two times before. I just let him pass. I had made my point.

I just remembered another good one. I was leaving the Taco Bell on my lunch break. I was headed out to my truck and I heard this fart can noise. I look to the street and I see what looks like an Acura Integra GSR. On the other side was some kind of 4th Gen TA. I hear the TA rev his engine and drown out the fart can. They take off when the light hits green. From the start the TA gets one car length ahead of the Integra.

From this point I can tell it's a Ram Air TA. When the TA gets about 2 car lengths ahead it stumbles like the guy skipped a gear or screwed up or something. The Integra gains about a half a car length on the TA as a result of this. The the TA lets loose and leaves the Integra behind by about 3 car lengths until it was out of my sight.

LOL!!:D I have a similar one, the stop light at a pretty big crossroads in New Tampa. This guy in a burgundy "SVT" V8 Mercury Mountaineer pulls up beside me. I noticed him when the road was still one lane and he passed some cars in this thing. This guy kept edging up in it and he looked to be a mid twenties guy. I gave the car a little rev and left that guy in the dust and when I got to 60mph he just raced around me. Maybe he wasn't expecting a race or those V8 exploaders/mountainers are just that slow (he did have a bunch of **** in the back with a wife/girlfriend). Funny thing to me was I don't think SVT customized a Mountaineer... Thats a r!cer to me, in its finest. Thats no better than putting on a Type R sticker on an Accord.

Very true.

Here's a question: Does anyone else put out a "competitive aura"? That is, I can be on foot, or inside one of my not very fast vehicles...and someone revs at me or goes out of their way to race me. And this little factor is beginning to worry me: Cops have been paying some serious attention to me lately...
Has anyone ever wandered if they have accidently outrun a cop? That is, you blow by their hiding place so fast, take a curve and turn off before they can get going fast enough to catch you. Obviously, if car A is going 80-90 mph, car B has to go faster-alot faster to catch up quickly. Maybe, that would explain it. Maybe one of them has seen me doing something, and they didn't get the chance to confront me. And it would probably explain the potential racers pursuing me.
I guess I'll never know for sure, but it could be possible. Especially since the vast majority of cops CANNOT drive. Especially around here.
Has this happened to anyone else? I think this sort of fits into the "funny races" catagory. Let's think about it: Outrunning a High Purformance Police car with a mid 80s family sedan or early 90s 4 cylinder...That would be funny. Too bad I don't know for sure.

I've done this accidentally a couple times before I got my RD. I saw them after I was already on top of them, so I had no chance to slow down. But taking a curve and turning off immediately afterwards - even though it wasn't my exit - was definitely not an accident :eek: .

And one time, I was topped out in my 92 4 cylinder Stang (probably 95 - 100) and it was pretty late at night. All of a sudden, REALLY BRIGHT light shone in my window from across the highway median :eek: . It was cops going the other way on the expressway, who didn't give chase, thank g0d. I guess that was their way of warning me to slow down, which I did of course. I almost shat myself when that spotlight hit me!

that happens alot more often than you might think

I've only had something similar to that happen that I know of to me. I however did know he was coming. It was the day after I got my shift kit and I was out enjoying it. I was on a road that has a 35 mph speed limit. I think it used to be 55 before I started driving but they lowered it because of some accident or something. Anyway, I was doing probably 75 and my radar detector beeped once like he aimed at me and clicked instead of just having it running and he passed me going the oppisite direction about a second after that. I slowed down real quick to turn off into a neighborhood real quick before he came after me but as I was slowing down his lights came on and he started to swing around. That was the last I saw of him. I went deep into that curvy neighborhood and pulled up in front of somones house behind a huge evergreen tree and sat their a few minutes. I would have never even tried it if his lights came on before I started to turn but I think the adrenaline got me and I didnt need a ticket for 40 over.

Ben

Man, thats almosy as bad as the Pontiac grand prix "type R" I saw the other day, with 2 fat he-she lesbians in it, about 99.9999999% tint on the windows, and a HUGE metal wing on the back.

Oh yeah...There is a Porsche. That's right...a newer Porsche with a wing big enough to hug a refrigerator. That's right, the distance between the top of this wing and the car is around 3.5 feet, I would say. The wing is taller than the car.
Rich teenagers...

lookout for tubbed miatas!
 

just a little note on the miatas... some are pretty dang quick. ok, i take it back... one i know of is pretty dang quick. i don't know how quick for sure... i'll let you decide. don't ask me how it was done, or why, but i saw this with my own eyes. at a car show here in tn (no ******* jokes on this one...), one guy there had an 350 lt1 powered miata (although my friend swears it was a 502... its been about two years so he could be right, but i remember it as a 350). and it had a 150 shot of go juice to boot. the only thing that gave the car away was that the entire back end was tubbed out... other than that it looked completely stock. i was impressed... well, horified is more like it... but it got my attention!

past that, all of my stories are the same ol' same ol'. import thinks he's bad... with the nos stickers that help his motor, the folgers can of an exhaust tip, a park bench or scrap metal for a spoiler, the 5000 # body kit, among other hideous car "upgrades," rev's the engine... i spank him and that's that. been done a thousand times, it'll be done a thousand more. there just isn't any replacement or displacement!

doc :cool:

at my work theres a dodge neon "type R" and if I"m early enough to work I can catch the 2 civics, red and white, floor their cars down the parking lot at lightning speeds of 30 miles an hour and the worst is I believe its a corrola that has rims with low profile tires, aluminum wing and still sits about 1ft off the ground, and lets not forget the fart can, altezas and clear turn signals. I won't be surpised when a body kit is put on that.
:doh:

Hey, Doc, my cousin used to have a Camaro- a 77- that he used to call, "the Beast". I see that you do not care for the 700R4, he didn't care for the 2004r in his 87 Cutlass.
So which is the best of the two in your opinion?

ive got one for u guys. it wasnt a racce that i was in, but one that a guy i used to work with ws telling me about. He was headed up to maryland in his 94 eclipse (base model, muffler cut off, el cheapo metal wing 100% ***** mobile) and he got up beside this chevy g30 van towing a trailer with some lawnmowers on it. Well the van wanted to race so he got on it, he said they went from about 50-80, and at 80 mph, the van was still on his door. I almost feel down laughing, and told him that if only the van wasnt towing someting, it would have won. Oh and by the way, his car ran a 11. 7 @ 56 mph at the local 1/8 mile.