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A Real Street Race!! I borrowed my wife's Geo Metro last night. One liter of raw power, 3 Cylinders of asphalt-tearing terror on thirteen-inch rims. It's stock, Alright, nothing done to it, but it pushes the barely 2000 pounds of Metro Around with AUTHORITY. I'm always catching mopeds and 18-wheelers by surprise... I was headed back from Baskin Robbins with my manly triple-latte cappuccino Blast ("No Cinnamon, ma'am, I take it BLACK"), when I stopped at a Streetlight. As the Metro throbbed its throaty idle around me, I sipped my Bold beverage and wiped the white froth my stiff upper lip. I was minding my Own business, but then I heard a rev from the next lane. I turned, made eye contact, then let my eyes trace over the competition. Ford Festiva -- a late model, could be trouble. Low profile tires, curb feelers, And schoolbus-yellow paint. Yep, a hot rod, for sure. The howl of his motor snapped my reverie, and I looked back into the driver's Eyes, nodded, then blipped my own throttle. As I tugged on my driving gloves And slipped on my sunglasses (gotta look cool to be fast, and I am *damn* Cool, hence...), the night was split with the sound of seven screaming Cylinders... Then the light turned... I almost had him out of the hole, my three pounding Cylinders thrusting me at least a millimeter back into my seat, as smoke Pouring from my front right tire... my unlimited slip differential was Letting me down! I saw in the corner of my eyes, a yellow snout gaining, and I heard the roar of his four cylinders. He slung by me, right front wheel juddering against the pavement, and he flashed me a smile as his .7 extra Liters of motor stretched its legs. I kept my foot gamely in it, though, waiting for the CHECK ENGINE light to Blink on in the one-gauge (no tachometer here!) instrument panel. I saw a Glimpse of chrome under his bumper, and knew the ugly truth... He was running a custom exhaust -- probably a 2-into-1 dual exhaust ... maybe Even cutouts! Damn his hot-rod soul! The old lady passing us on the crosswalk Cast a dirty look in our boy-racer direction ... Yet still I persisted, with My three pumping pistons singing a heady high-pitched song wound fully out. Though only a few handfuls of seconds had passed, we were nearing the Crosswalk at the other side of the intersection, and I heard the note of his Engine change as he made his shift to second, and I saw his grin in his Rearview mirror fade as he missed the shift! I rocketed by, shifting, and Nursed the clutch gently in to keep from bogging, keeping my motor spinning Hot and pulling me ahead, now trailing a cloud of stinking clutch smoke. Not Ready to give up so easily, he left his foot in it, revving, and I heard one Wheel *almost* chirp as he finally found second and dropped the clutch. We Careened over the crosswalk, now going at least 15 miles per hour. A Bicyclist passed us, but intent on the race as we were, neither of us batted An eye. He pulled slowly abreast of me, and neck and neck, we made the shift to Third, the scream of motors deafening all pedestrians within a five foot Circle. He nosed ahead as we passed 30 miles an hour, then eased in front of Me, taunting, as we shifted into fourth. I was staring up the dual 6" chrome Tips of his exhaust, snarling, my cappuccino forgotten, as he lifted a little To take the next corner. I saw my opportunity, and counting on the innate agility of my trusty steed, I pulled wide into the number two lane and kept my foot buried in carpet. Slowly, I inched around him, feeling my Metro roll slowly to the left as I Came abreast in the midst of this gradual sweeping turn. I felt the Geo ease Onto its suspension stops, and felt the right rear wheel slowly leave the Ground - no matter, though, because my drive wheels, up front, were pulling Me through the corner, and around the Festiva ... The Ford driver beat his wheel in rage as my wife's car eased past him on the Outside, my P165/54R13's screaming in protest, as we raced to the next light. We coasted down, neck-and neck, to the red light. I tightened my driving Gloves, ready for another round, when this WIMP in the next car meekly Flipped his turn signal and made a right. Chevy (Suzuki) superiority reigns!!! I drove off sipping my masculine drink, awash in my sheer virility, looking For other unwitting targets.... Perhaps a Yugo, or maybe even a Volkswagon Van! Most people do this every day, but just don't get paid for it |
Re: A Real Street Race!! |
Re: A Real Street Race!! Ha! I'm on night shift, and was borderline about to go to sleep, when I read that. Made my night :lol: |
Re: A Real Street Race!! That was funny. And it reads just like a Fast & Furious race scene that takes several minutes to watch of what is supposed to be a 10 second race. Thanks. |
Re: A Real Street Race!! https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/www.thi...ef90542aec.jpg +Screwed up and raced one these ugly hatchbacks back in high school with my 87 Formula, it was complete annihilation! These cars were quick for their day lil ugly things. |
Re: A Real Street Race!! That was hilarious, reminded me of a race between a rusted out 91' Cavalier and a mid 90's Hyundai back in high school, both junked out but at least they had stick shifts. |
Re: A Real Street Race!!
Originally Posted by dmccain
(Post 6270681)
https://cimg1.ibsrv.net/gimg/www.thi...ef90542aec.jpg +Screwed up and raced one these ugly hatchbacks back in high school with my 87 Formula, it was complete annihilation! These cars were quick for their day lil ugly things. |
Re: A Real Street Race!! Yea I think he crossed the quarter mile and I was a good ten car lengths behind. Guy wouldn't show his slip I always wondered what it ran I was running high 14s he must have been a full second or more faster. |
Re: A Real Street Race!! Wow, you should be a writter! Great read...gotta ask Did you really race a festiva with a geo! |
Re: A Real Street Race!!
Originally Posted by dmccain
(Post 6270785)
Yea I think he crossed the quarter mile and I was a good ten car lengths behind. Guy wouldn't show his slip I always wondered what it ran I was running high 14s he must have been a full second or more faster. |
Re: A Real Street Race!! |
Re: A Real Street Race!! Unlimited slip diff - too funny! - Good writing! |
Re: A Real Street Race!! Good story telling! :thumbsup:
Originally Posted by dmccain
(Post 6270681)
+Screwed up and raced one these ugly hatchbacks back in high school with my 87 Formula, it was complete annihilation! These cars were quick for their day lil ugly things. I'm afraid it won't be too many more years before lil ugly electric cars will be kicking our butts daily. Oh, that's going to a sad day for my hobby. :( |
Re: A Real Street Race!!
Originally Posted by MY-92-RS
(Post 6270746)
Those dodge Shelby GLH which means GO Like HELL !! bad mofo in the day ..Carol Shelby himself working for Lee Iacoca again this time with Dodge..ran these agents his original GT-350 mustangs a beat them bad !! with this ugly sleeper POS.. The Blue Oval people were not very happy !! |
Re: A Real Street Race!! @TireSmokin' THAT'S how you tell a story! |
Re: A Real Street Race!! Bravo, Bravo that must of had the Testosterone raging in your latayed hulk of humanity add opera clap well done chap |
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