Does anyone know what I can paint my headers with that will stay on for more than a few start ups? I have used the highest heat rated header paint I can find "$15 a can" and it burnt off in 3 days.

 

Burning off that fast sounds like some other issue going on.

Poor prep work
Didn't fully cure the paint by backing it in an oven or cycling engine run time
Too heavy of coat of paint at once. Best to do 3 or 4 light coats with a 25 or so min flash time between each coat.
Ignition timing retarded causing a hotter than normal EGT
Air/fuel ratio lean causing a higher than normal EGT

I have used rustoleum bbq paint, and Dupli color engine paint. I get about 8 mo. or so on them before needing re painting.

You need to sand blast or wire wheel the headers, remove all paint, rust, scale.
Blow clean
Wash with prep all grease and wax remover or atleast paint thinner.
Let it air dry

Then paint them.