t0astm0nkey

my car hadnt been driven in four years when i bought it, and all that i've found is a pretty much untouched rear suspension, and the smell of rats, but for $1500, it was pretty nice, especially since an LS1 is sitting in there now, with NO GHETTO wiring or anything

novafirebirdguy

Where do I even start. Well the thing that shows that the PO was one of the cheapest laziest sob's I'll ever meet. Instead of replacing the horn relay when it went bad, he drilled holes in the dash put some button on. And of course he ripped the old wiring out. The button goes straight to the battery and horns (apparently there's two?) The fan is also rigged the same way but to a wall switch you'd find in your house, but of course he puts it where the diagnostic port goes.

Also ripped out an alarm system complete that came with a siren and made the lights flash. My brother and I put flashing red and blue lights in the grill of his Lesabre and put the siren in as the standard horn. We've done some fun stuff with that. Although I'm sure you could get busted for it big time.

I also found that the passenger side floor pan split at the seat mount so he duct taped it, that's what I call a chassis stiffener.

wrked89

i had my k member welded back together and my car painted with out removing or taping stuff off

backgammon7

well i haven't found anything like that in my car, but my ignition coil and my dizzy cap( i can't get to it) aren't bolted down. but it runs and drives fine -i made an exaust gasket out of a peice of cardbord for my truck (i wanted to buy a new one but my papaw wouldn't let me, yeah i thought the same thing) but it runs and drivesfine -and i lost the negative battery bolt to my riding lawn mower so i went and got some solder and just wrapped the wire to the terminal with it and not bothering to use the solder in the way it was intended. and guess what, it runs and drives fine.
don't roast me too bad, i see the error of my ways am planning to correct them

JeremyNYR

iTrader: (2)

WOW... are you the guy that previously owned all these other f-bodies??!! I don't know where to begin with the cardboard exhaust gasket. Hope you have a fire extinguisher handy.

As for your distributor cap, be sure that you bolt it down with both screws. I had only one screw in mine because the other tapped hole was stripped. I thought the one screw was holding it down good enough, but it wasn't. My cap must've popped up slightly while driving and the rotor hit it, cracking the plastic "key" in the rotor. Well it took me a good while to figure out why my car stalled out on me. I was getting spark at each plug because the rotor was still turning, just not at the same speed as the distributor shaft or at the right timing. Eventually I removed the cap and when I lifted the rotor, the plastic key was still sticking in the distributor shaft. Cost me $2 and two days to figure it out.

Smoke_Jaguar

Wow, there are some special "fixes" listed. Myself, I am still going through the luxury of finding all the "profeshunel mehkanik" work in my 86. So far though, the weird use of household wire nuts on small, thin wires is becoming a scarilly common theme. That and for god only knows why, the MAF relay connector was rebuilt so that it wouldn't even work (with a compliment of dielectric grease of a quantity suitable enough to redo the front wheel bearings with). So, after about 2 weeks of work, I FINALLY have all ECM codes clear and the thing runs beautifully. Then of course there is the radio harness which was brutally murdered, but at least they used butt connectors. That and the subwoofer that was essentially wedged into the trunk (no fasteners whatsoever) and amp that was wired directly to the alternator (dead voltage regulator as a result). I really wish people would just splice together adaptors for radios without chopping the wiring to pieces.

STRIKER911

iTrader: (1)

The most ghetto was the fuel pump hiding over the rear end. Not much else has pissed me off. Well the very early shifting trans, & one wheel peel are up their. Back on topic.

The red dragon all over the place takes the cake. Huge red letters said "red dragon". Seat covers with red dragons. Big as dragon sticker still on the drivers door. White dragon steering wheel cover. Gross.

Sooo_slow

My car had a th350 swapped in. Shifter didn't work, so when installing a B&M I found an old *** dime bag of heroin. There was no th350 torque arm conversion mount, the torque arm was bolted to the tail section of the tranny using an exaust clamp.

The pressure line for the power steering leaked (at the box) so he jb-welded it in an attempt to stop the leaking, which is obviously didn't do, so the steering box took a **** on me.

There was no overflow on the radiator and a 13lb cap, so when it got hot it pissed coolant everywhere, and the nipple for the overflow line had a bolt jb welded in it.

Rear springs had blocks in them, rather than replacing the shocks, which are only like 20.00 each.

The list goes on.

Chezoom

iTrader: (2)

i unbolted my exhaust after the cat and left it so it dangals, so i fond 2 5 inch long 2X8's and places them under the tips to lift the pipng from dangleng, it worked great,but im going to fix it

sh00k

I can only begin to tell you what I have discovered in my 86 TA...but I will try

All PO:
-Painted without taping the windows properly
-Didn't fully remove old red paint before painting black
-Had trouble painting under spoiler...so he just didnt in parts
-He put shiny metalic looking stickers all over the gauge cluster and shift plate (a BITCH to get off)
-Cigarette butts in every crevice and under everything
-Welded hatch pulldown
-Wires cut everywhere (right before the plug...instead of unplugging, he cut right before it) and I needed these wires to get things working
-Speaker wires to the sail panels were run along the side of the floor
-Riveted ground kit piece
-Zip tied ground kit piece
-Plywood under drivers side floor over rust hole
-Toggle switch installed for chrome horn (he put a chrome horn in but didn't bother to hook it up right)
-Exhaust held up with zip ties and coat hangers
-Found a large pair of men's brief's wedged in a hole in the trunk floor
-Wood screws holding trunk plastic panels together
-No thermostat
-Thermostat housing leaked because the bolts were too large, so he covered it in rtv and god knows what
-Wood placed in the rear shocks


and so many more things...I cant remember them all...this is about half

dimented24x7

iTrader: (2)

Probably the most ghetto thing Ive seen was with my previous daily driver (ford, BTW). The previous owners wanted a new car with a factory alarm system. From what I can tell, the dealer had a car that fit what they wanted, but didnt have a factory alarm. What did the dealer decide to do?

Well, they decided to just grab an alarm module off of the shelf and slap it in as quickly as possible! To install it, they basically hacked all the wiring apart. They didn't even bother to solder anything, they just twisted the wires together, and folded some tape over them to 'hold' it together. No solder, no shrink wrap, nothing. Just a pinch of tape on each joint, with maybe a wire nut here and there, if they had one to spare.

When I first got the car, it worked well except for the electrical system. It had all sorts of problems from the ghetto *** alarm install from the dealer. Would randomly die on the road. Starter rarely if ever worked. Took about 10-20 tries to get it to start each time. The alarm would randomly go off whenever it decided it wanted to, and the interior always smelled like burnt wiring. Hell, even the radio caught fire at one point. After the radio incident, I decided to have a look under the dash, and thats when I found the rats nest of wires, all of which where bare at this point because the tape had fallen off. Took an entire weekend to properly repair the electrical system. I wish I had taken some pictures. Its amazing what can happen when you mix morons and late model cars together. These where the dealer mechanics, too.

dimented24x7

iTrader: (2)

You know, the wire harnesses can be unplugged and removed mostly intact, and in some cases sold for money. Doesn't make sense to butcher all the wiring when it can be done neatly. Previous owner did something like that to my camaro to get around doing it right, and it caused an electrical fire. Left me stranded about a 100 miles from home. Luckily, it didnt burn the whole car down. Ultimatly, I recently just gutted most of the wiring and redid everything along with the vortec SFI install. Finally nice to see new, clean electrical harnesses rather than ratty old wires everywhere.

Its not impossibly hard to fix the electrical wiring when something goes wrong. Just grab some wiring diagrams and trace it out with a DVM.

noroxus

iTrader: (1)

i know there's a a thousand things i could write....

the PO of my car converted my car from something to carb, and stashed all the wiring behind the engine, it caught fire 7-8 times, i blamed it on something different each time until i tore everything out and realized it was a big melted blob of wires.

to add insult to injury the last time it was on fire (it was out at this point too, im not stupid and i got pretty good at putting these fires out) a cop witnessed it and called in the troops, 10 firetrucks and at least 5 ambulances and cop cars arrived. the firemen cut all the wrong wires and left the battery cables connected. i was pissed.

I re wired the entire car, and it really is nice saying my car doesnt catch fire anymore.

RED_DRAGON_85

ME TOO
except mine (err, the PO i mean) were stuffed in the hole in the floor where the spare tire is...
weird

Ca[maro]88

iTrader: (2)

i thought about just rewiring everything, and selling my harness but i didnt have the money for a painless wiring system or anything, so i decided to use the original wiring harness and cut out what i didnt need. since i never really "plan" on selling my car it shouldnt be a problem. but if i do happen to sell it i would obviously let the next owner know that the original wiring harness has been cut etc. the original harness was a joke anyway, the PO already made cuts and when you opened the hood there was at least 10 things left unplugged. and i never "butchered" the wires. i cut it where it started, and all the wires that were still there i wrapped with a heat shield type of thing and ran it behind my dash. believe me when i say i didnt do a lazy job at it, i did it as neatly as possible. when i redo the entire car, ill buy a painless wiring kit and make my car look exactly the way it should

Convoy25

iTrader: (3)

lucky, i got a broom stick as a prop for hood and hatch

as for ghetto fixings when i put in a new intake, it appears that for a gasket someone used some saran looking plastic.

89RS_82Z

iTrader: (2)

i was helping a friend put a glass pack on his 87 ranger it was real nice had fresh paint, the real nice interior, the V6....look 100% original other than the fresh paint, and the tube style bumpers

anyway so i crawl under it, say hmmm someone reaplaced the muffler at one time, i got to remove it and there is a soup can, yes a soup can used as an adapter to fit the bigger inlet outlet muffler on the smaller pipe, then one day noticed that where the cargo light was it looked like someone coverd it up with sheet metal so they could put a cap on the bed, well it looked kinda tacky even if it was painted with the truck so we went to a j/y and go a crago light, went to drill in to the metal patch and found out it was a piece of foil tape for duct work with a piece of flattened soda can to make it rigid

the PO must of really thought cans worked good for repairs

gz28

My 83 Z28 had a slew of engineering when I bought it. I can't really complain, I kind of expected it for $300. 2X12 bolted all the way through the floor for trans cross-member. not even through the original holes, they just had to make 2 new ones for this job. tranny set on several pieces of tire where a trans mount should have been. Torque arm trans mount had bailing wire holding it shut in the top bolt hole along with a piece of landscaping log/rail road tie to keep the whole mess from flopping into the tunnel. I didn't mess with it for a few months after I saw it and when that torque arm broke the wire I thought a bomb had gone off under my car. The day after I got it the rigged up fan switch shorted out and blew insulation all over my shins and feet. The latest and greatest is the fuel pump. The pump arm case broke in two and the pump was a couple of inches from the engine, but that is not the rigged part. I am having to make a new pump to carb line because somebody used JB weld or something to make the flare nut stay on the pump. I used solvents, penetrants, zip tying cloths soaked with lube and solvents soaking for many hours, nogo. I cut the line and put the pump in a vice and hit it with the impact just to prove that nut wouldn't get the best of me. The nut laughed and called me a ***. BTW check my other post on that line cuz I am having problems with that.

JeremyNYR

iTrader: (2)

Stupid comes in all colors... there's no need to single out one

jhoski

On my 91 the temperature sender went south and the radiator fans would not activate so the guy I bought it from cut the wires and wired it with a toggle switch directly to the radio fuse. No relay. Any time you turned on the fan all the dash lights went south and a bunch of the gauges pegged.

On a different car I found steel fence posts welded in for frame rails.

vette gator

This is amazing! I'm also working to restore a 76 Corvette and thought that this kind of stuff only happened to these cars. The list on that car is too long to go through completely, but here are two of the better ones:

1. The ignition switch went bad, so the PO got a pushbutton switch from Radio Shack, wired it directly to the starter and hung it over the steering column by the wires.

2. The radiator was from something the size of Geo Metro and the radiator fan was a parts store special. The best part, though, was that the fan drew power from the distributor, so when you turned off the key, the motor kept running until the fan ran down (it acted like a generator at that point).

In the Corvette world, these previous owners are referred to as "Bubba's".

Thirdgen Ranch

iTrader: (5)

Of course, I've seen a LOT of stupid stuff over the years and could make a pretty good list by myself. While I've seen a lot of dumber things, the funniest thing I think I've ever seen was on an '83 Trans Am. The car was a POS but actually ran and drove pretty good. There was a toggle switch under the dash but didn't seen to do anything. When I parted the car out I found a later style washer bottle with the pump sitting in the spare tire well. Sure enough the motor was wired up to the toggle switch on the dash and the previous owner had rigged it to spray water on his back tires for burnouts. The best part was that he had run hoses to both wheel well but didn't even have to drill holes. He just ran the hoses through the big rust holes in the top of the wheel wells and had them pointed at the tires.

JeremyNYR

iTrader: (2)

I thought about how cool/funny it would be to do just that... minus the rust holes of course

3rdgenmaro

iTrader: (9)

Well my 88 was originally a v6 car. So of course the PO done a terrible job at the swap. The car run when I bought it but the trans was shot. Most 700r4s will go out when the TV cable is not installed.

No gauges worked, a wire from switched-on power was run underneath the car and spliced into the fuel pump wiring harness, the fan worked only when you popped the hood and wrapped the 2 inches of bare wire on the positive wire around the battery terminal.

They did install a fuel pressure regulator to work with the carb and electric fuel pump, however they didnt restrict the line going back to the tank so the motor would almost always starve itself for fuel.

The car was originally a manual, but I reckon they didnt have the time to weld the hole in the floor up. I kept wondering when I first got the car (first gear still worked, so I drove it up and down my driveway a couple of times) how dust was getting inside. I pull the console and they had a pair of socks and a pair of underwear jammed on top of the trans trying to block the hole.

The worse thing I have ever done, please keep in mind that this is on a cousin's 72 NOVA in need of some work (10k would make a beautiful car but he is too tight to spend a dime on it) the headers have rusted pretty bad over the past 25 years he has had them on the car. A good hole developed in one of the primary tubes right infront of the connector. So in a slightly altered mental state, we took two hose clamps, some red rtv, and a coors light can and made a dandy little fix.

I helped another cousin swap a 351w into a 86 mustang (originally a 4 cyl). He is terrible at rigging up stuff. I built the motor and helped him get it running, that is it. I told him alot of stuff needed to be redone, but he is tight as heck. Anyways, a couple things he has done are
1) almost everything that needs switched power is run off a junction block that gets power from the wiper motor wire
2) any wires that run into the passenger compartment run through a piece of 1.5" flexible conduit that sticks out 4" past the firewall on the engine side and a good 12" on the inside of the car.
3) At first the rubber fuel lines ran across the top of the motor to the fuel pump and then back up to the carb, NOW he bent a hard line and run it across in front of the crossmember right behind the radiator support. Why he didnt cross them in the back and put new line up I will never know.
4) The junkyard exhaust he bought didnt quite fit right, so he bolts the collector to the headers and puts a jack under the x-pipe. He jacked it as much as possible, took a strip of metal and welded it across the bottom of the car and exhaust to hold it in place.
5) To save money, he took a factory fan and GROUND the blades down to fit in the shroud. So now they are razor sharp. Or atleast they were. He swapped to an electric fan when he cut the back of his hand on one of the blades, requiring 8 stitches.

Tight people are terrible on vehicles. Its not that he doesnt have the knowledge to fix his stuff right, he just will not spend a dime to do it.

Glassbowl

Well in my 87 the PO was about as bright as a 10 watt light bulb. The power antenna wires where hooked up to the turn signals, the rear power hatch he tried to fix and well it ran backwards, lift the hatch it goes down ect, he primered the front end grey, behind the t-tops rustic brown spray paint. Had a pair of vice grips to change the climate from hot to cold as he broke the arm on the valve. The bushings on the rear swap bar are shot so instead of replacing them we have chevy's #1 repair part, duct tape. Also i had an ashtray full on screws from the interior and also a bunch of wires that are clipped and hanging that go somewhere. I'm still finding more things as i get into this car more.

mine didnt come with a 2x4 but it did come with a broom handle. lol

sleepsinshed

iTrader: (10)

The temp sensor for the fan must have burnt out, so the PO wired the fan to a toggle switch on the dash, which was wired directly to the battery. Those are the wires running across the radiator shroud. And yes, that is a knife switch across the battery. Maybe it was to kill all power in case you forgot to shut off the fan switch. Or perhaps it was a security device. Hopefully you remembered to turn the fan on before the motor fried.

ATX-Iroc

for some reason the PO of my iroc wired in 2 extra relays to my fan harness so now I got 4 but i guess that didnt work so he then wired both to an ignition hot wire and just grounded to the frame. and i guess he didnt like unclipping the maf connector so he cut and extended it about 5 feet so i can lay the maf on the ground without unclipping it. and he spliced that extension in real nice with wire nuts.

hotrodjr.

when i first bought my 82 trans am there was a nickle in between the headlight switches i pulled it out not knowing that with it in was the only way they worked... its fixed now but talk about put in nickle to operate haha

ghettocruiser

iTrader: (4)

Most ghetto thing Ive seen was on my 67 Bonneville. Someone needed to get to the fuel tank sender I guess. They drilled 4 huge holes in the trunk. Then connected the holes with a sawzall or cut off wheel making a HUGE "H" in my floor. It was probably 2'x2'...way too big. Then they bent the flaps back...

.....
.......

This just resulted in rust requiring me to replace the entire rear clip of the car by the time I got it. This is a 67 bonneville...thats a BIG rear clip haha.

J.

JeremyNYR

iTrader: (2)

I like how the wires are run along the fender and appear to drop into the car through the door opening. That's a high end installation!

NJrFirebird

had wire coat hangers holding up the headlights, and the classic bungie holding down the batt

also kinda off topic, when i had gotten the car home i found a XL Pink sweatshirt in my trunk .

dynodanmanda79

iTrader: (1)

PO installed red window tint, trailer hitch that was welded to the dual fart can exhaust, and neons installed under the dash. Pretty ghetto if you ask me!

KatsCam

OMG! A sandwich, underwear and wire hangers?!? I laughed my a** off reading this thread! (And I really needed it in the middle of a hellish work day that's never going to end, apparently. I know, but a girl's gotta take a break, no?)
I love the person who said he would kick the PO in the nuts if he ever saw him again!
Thank God I'm the second owner, and my girl was garaged and rarely driven before I got her, but here's a funny one. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine popped his hood and that flex hose that runs from the air filter pan to the block was a Red Bull can. (Go ahead with the wings jokes now, lol!) Me and my other friends laughed like crazed crackheads!

brianturney

backgammon7, I'm about to give you crap but its because you made me laugh. I used to live in the south and was a hardcore redn3ck. so i can give my fellow redn3cks some crap now and then and not feel bad. haha ; ) LOL @ JeremyNYR for asking backgammon7 if HE was the PO of all these F-Bodies! haha. I laughed when backgammon7 called his dad 'Papaw'. I haven't heard anyone call their dad 'papaw' since I was 12yrs old living in the middle of nowhere 30 minutes out on a dirt road in Arkansas in a town population 80. LOL. The last person I heard say that was just like Cletus the redn3ck on the Simpsons. I think that should be one of the 'You know you're a redn3ck if..' words. haha. I think we found our PO.



my 87 IROC when I bought it:
- the rear compartments behind the plastic interior pieces were completely full of sunflower seeds that had rotted. totally encasing the spare tire like cement. took me a whole afternoon to clean them out. later I found more behind the rear seat. wtf? haha
- there was litterally, 1 inch from the drivers floor to the passenger floor, of rotting cigarette butts and ash under the carpet. where the hump is under the shifter was about 3 inches deep. no wonder I couldnt get rid of the smell.
- the ENTIRE exhaust system was held up by zip ties (melting) and rusted metal hangers. sweet.
- all windows had total ghetto *** cheap tint film on them. not just any tint job, no. it was literally like they'd just put it up there, it got stuck in place, and the PO said "Yup Erleen tis darn right beautiful. Come here n look at this! reminds me of a sow piglet in a bubble bath I tell you what, dontitchu?"

I've replaced the carpet, new magnaflow exhaust, removed the filth and tint, and since restored the car to much better condition.


____________________
Camaro Firebird Club Northwest - Puget Sound area 3rd/4th gen Camaro Firebird club. http://www.cfcnw.com

birdlvr

electric fan wired directley to the lo-beam headlights using speaker wire

Saber

iTrader: (2)

Well to start things off, A rag and RTV are whats keeping my t-tops from leaking in the drivers side corner, he stuffed a rag in and like glued it in with RTV or something. Secondly, when i was fixing some rust i rip up the carpet to find pieces of metal taped over holes with duct tape. The big kicker was the wiring for the radio, done with all electrical tape and exposed wires. Good thing i replaced it, i think thats like a fire hazzard or something.

89RS_82Z

iTrader: (2)

dang i love this thread, it just gets better and better

FoodStampsz

I went to go look at a foxbody mustang and this put a 305 chevy small block in it, a rear window wiper, screwdriver for door handle oh and it was purple and had wheel flares????

As for my t.a. the dude got the tires from pepboys and they were mounted backwards

KatsCam

Seriously, I about peed myself from laughing while reading this thread! Amazing how dumb some people are. Kind of sad we have to share the same planet...

3.1rscamaro

the po use plastic bondo on the driver side door and a bunch of other places that there wasnt sposed to be. if i ever find the po i would give him a right hook to the jaw for doing that crap to that poor car,(which is now my daily driver) :0

gz28

Hey, bondo is the secret to a great body! Unless it is 2" thick and falls out.

gcgarner

I don't even know where to start on this '88 notchback I have recently acquired.

1) PO painted the car without taping any of the weatherstripping, trim, door handles, lock cylinders.

2) Passenger window motor was duct-taped in place.

3) Upper center console was hacked beyond belief for unknown reasons.

4) High center stop light and left signal light were spliced together for unknown reasons.

5) Rubber Cement was employed to try to keep the T-Tops from leaking.

6) All this and the car has remote start .

lordmetalz28

iTrader: (1)

PO,, let the main wiring harness melt after he removed it and never put it back properly.. as well as i had to replace many sensor pig tail and injector pig tails of any gm car i could find.... caddys,,truck you name it..

As for me.. im an Electrician/Hvac tech all my custom wiring i use home wire nuts on.. no butt connectors..

3.1rscamaro

yea but at the bottom where my door is, i just took it to a body shop and my body guy said it was fiberglass bondo? im like wtf!

JeremyNYR

iTrader: (2)

i think that means it's fiberglass reinforced body filler... that isn't a bad thing.

JeremyNYR

iTrader: (2)

I hope you aren't saying you use wire nuts on your car wiring. Wire nuts are fine in a house because the connections aren't subject to constant vibration, heat and potential exposure to water. In a car, the proper method is to solder all connections and use heat shrink tubing.

KnottyBuoyz

iTrader: (2)

This is a long story, sorry, but it is the God's Honest Truth.

You have to understand the time this took place. 1976, I was 16 years old. I walked into the vehicle license office at 9:00 and wrote my "365" learners permit. I asked the attendant: "When can I take my drivers test?" He said: "Aren't you going to learn how to drive first?" "No!" I said. "Why should I?" He just looked at me kinda screwy and said "come back at 1:00 this afternoon." I did, in my '66 Chevy window van. Now let me tell you about this van. This pic is of the make & model but isn't the actual van. I didn't have a camera back then.



Back in the '70's vans were hot stuff. "*******' Wagon's". They were cheap, roomy and plentiful. I got mine for IIRC $300 from a local business. It was gutted except for the two front seats. This van had the "dog house" inbetween the front seats. It was a straight 6 with three on the tree. It ran really well and started in any weather.

Jump back 6 months to the previous summer. I got the van home and started to tear it apart with grand plans to turn it into a showpiece. Well the more I tore out the vinyl flooring covering the back of the van the more rusted away metal I found. Hmmmm? I don't have any welding tools and my dad's workshop is all woodworking & electronics stuff. Hmmmm? Well I did tear the floor down to the frame pretty much everything was gone including the inner fender wells and battery box in the floor in front of the passenger seat.

My buddy "JJ" was helping me. It was summer and hot. He brought along a Coleman cooler of refreshments. Looking for a spot to put the cooler out of the sun he dropped it in between the K-member frame and inner rocker panel in the front seat where the battery box used to be, I had just cut that rusted part out. It was a perfect match! A van's gotta have a cooler eh? It stayed. Having only woodworking tools a quick trip to the lumber yard and we came back with some 1"x6" decking and a couple boxes of 2" screws and a gallon of tar. The floor actually went in pretty easy. We did scrounge up some old galvanized tin roofing as the first layer. Then laying the decking from side to side screwing it into the inner rockers, all the way up to the back of the dog house then it got a little tricky. We had to build a 2x4 frame around the dog house and tie it into the front K-member with carriage bolts. This allowed us to finish the floor, coat it with tar and lay down some new vinyl flooring, you know the old black & white 12' squares like from the '60's.

The next task was the inner wheel wells. We only had a 45 gallon drum and wood to work with. The biggest drawback to using the drum was cutting it. I think I ruined my fathers circular saw and just tucked it back under his work bench hoping he wouldn't notice. We tried hammers & chisels, took too long so it was back to the wood. This was the time to work on interior accommodations so we built benches, with hinged lids, that would form a twin size bed frame across the entire back of the van plus the inner fender wells. We had to pull the wheels to coat the inside of the wells with tar.

There was no inner wall or head liner anywhere in the back of the van. First challenge, insulation. Hmmm? Back to the lumber store for two very expensive bags of pink fiberglass insulation. Have you ever tried to ride 2 miles on a chopped 3-speed bicycle with a banana seat, sissy bar and Monkey Hangers with two bags of fiberglass insulation tied to the sissy bar? Yeah, try it buddy lemme know how it works for ya! Now, how to attach the fiberglass to the van, oh yeah, the back windows were rattle canned matt black. Wadda we got JJ? His repsonse? "Tar". Tar it is. Got the insulation up and had to beg my Dad to get me three 4'x8' sheet of 1/4" mahogany plywood for the liner. He did so we were off to the races. It was easy getting the plywood up, we just screwed it to the braces in the roof and sides. A lil' cutting and fitting and it worked pretty well. This got painted later but looked pretty good. Some Cetol and the mahogany plywood would be nice too eh?

So the van's pretty much sealed up from the elements, technically there's no holes in the floor. The next challenge was to fix the cooler into place. Hmmm? Wadda we got JJ? "Tar". "No man tar won't work for this. Lets go into Dad's workshop and see what we can find." "What's Durabond 90?" JJ said. I dunno, lets have a look. Hmmmm? Concrete and drywall repair it says. Hard as a rock when dried eh? What else we got JJ? Both of us scanning the garage for stuff. "I got some chicken wire" he says. That'll work lets. go. So we essentially used reinforced concrete to fix the cooler into place. It actually worked well. Knock that one off the list.

I had two holes in the toe panels on each side of floor at the front. I just glanced around and saw the old license plates sitting on the seat. "Gimme one of those JJ." "Ok." "Where's the tar?" "Right here!" Problem fixed. "Fire it up and lets go for a ride." JJ said. Ok sure what the hell. Turn the key, nuttin'! "What' the ....." I sit there puzzled for about 2 minutes. I pulled up the dog house, motor's still there yup. Duh! "Battery!" "What battery?" said JJ. "The one that used to be where the cooler is now silly." "Ahhhhh, that's your problem" he said. Ok so where do we put the battery. Looking around the van I really didn't want to put it inside the van. We needed room for the bar & stereo and some more furnishings. Back to the Dad's workshop. "Wadda we got to work with JJ?" Looking around we found an old army ammo container thingy. "Let's try that." I said. So off to the van, now where are we gonna put it. Walking around the van, looking under it, around again *Boing* the light goes off. "Front Bumper!" "Yeah cool! so we drilled some holes in the bottom so we could wire it to the bumper with some coat hangers and a few more in the back of the can so we could bolt it to the grill. That'll work. Hmmmm? Battery cables are too short. No problemo Dad's got lots of 14/2 house wire in the garage. We'll just double that up! "Right On!. Hey what the hell it worked.

My dad never forgave me for ruining his WWII ammo box. Apparently it had some sort of sentimental value to him. Yeah ok Dad, sorry!

So we fired her up and went for a spin around the block. It was actually quieter than before until I hit a manhole cover and the entire exhaust system dropped out on the ground! Ahhhhh sh*t! Nurse it back to the house. "Looks like we gotta do some exhaust work eh JJ?" "Ayup!" "Wadda we got to work with?" Looking around the garage we spot some 2" electrical conduit (galvanized). "This aughta work eh JJ?" "Ayup!" We salvaged the old exhaust. The muffler was just about shot. No money to buy a new one. "Wadda we got to work with JJ?" "Tar." "No tar work on this, what else?" "Durabond 90 and some chicken wire." "That'll work!" We patched the muffler and bent the conduit by hand to form an exhaust system.

So scoot ahead 6 months. It's late January and I'm ready to take my drivers test. This old van, even though we insulated it, is a cold SOB in the winter. I told the tester guy to put on his winter boots and parka. He said we wouldn't be out there that long seeing as I just got my learners permit that morning. I said: "Ok but I told ya so!". Out we went. He looks at the van which is now sporting a very nice "Tremclad Bright Blue" paint job done with a roller & brush and says "we're going in that?" "Yup, why, what's wrong with it?" "Is it safe?" he said. "Yup got her safety checked yesterday." (yes it actually passed a safety check, technically speaking) So off we go, turn left, turn right, go straight, parallel park here, three point turn there, I'm using my signals and two hands (10 & 2) and doing everything right, checking my shoulder etc.). All the time it's about -10 degrees and the cold is starting to creep into the tester guy. I said: "How much more I gotta do to prove I can drive?" He just chattered his teeth and pointed the turns to get us back to the office where he wrote me my drivers license! :-)

89-bird

I've owned a '69 Sportvan 108 Custom but other than a bed bolted in and a push button starter and late model trans bolted to a '63 Corvette 327 with circle track race heads and the vans 2bbl settup the van was mostly stock other than the rear bumper was made out of 5in channel iron . Out of all the cars I ever owned I would love to have it back and still have my Bird . Forgot to say it had crank up vents installed in the roof and '' tar'' arond them to seal them .

sap

Stereo wiring was completely messed in my car when I got it. Somehow a PO had managed to wire the headlights and taillights to the +12V for the radio . Took me forever to figure out which wire in the mess was what (and there are a couple I never figured out).

I'm ashamed to admit I did the amp power through the door jamb once. It was a long time ago, and I wouldn't do it again.

gcgarner

Classic!

DY-NO-MITE!!