slowV8berlinetta

okay guys, lets hear about things you've done or seen or experienced that we can all laugh at. I want to see tons of posts with some being AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH alright?
I'll start with once I took a drum off and had my brother watch to see if the shoes moved when I stepped on the pedal- the pistons popped out of the wheel cylinder.
Or as a tech at an olds/gmc dealer, I got a repair order for an suv under warranty that read "Customer states low fuel light inop, has run out of gas three times." This particular vehicle didn't have a low fuel light- it wasn't even an option. This was the funniest truly naive thing that I have ever heard. I'm sure I can think of more, I've done a lot of dumb things with my cars.

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'84 Berlinetta, LG4, 700R-4, starwars interior, falling headliner, T/A t-handle shifter, trans cooler, open element, more to come in time and $$ www.hipergp@yahoo.com

Mark A Shields

One time I had a hole in my brake line. I ran out of fluid on the way to pick my gf up from school. I got there to discover no fluid. Well I had the leak for a couple of weeks and until I got the money to fix it, I carried around brake fluid to fill it up when needed. I also had a bottle of power steering fluid in the car. Well in my hurry to fix the problem I poured in the power steering fluid. And you know how they say only use DOT 3 brake fluid and nothing else, I noticed it right after I poured it in. I about $hit my pants. I grabbed a shirt and soaked most of it out. I then got a ride to my gf's house and got a turkey baster and sucked out what all I could.

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"Rice burners are like tampons...Every pu$$y has to have one"
'86 IROC
T-TOPS, TINTED WINDOWS, BRAKE LIGHT BLACKOUTS
GM GOODWRENCH 350
EDELBROCK TES HEADERS
3" Hooker CatBack w/Aero Chamber muffler
EDELBROCK 600CFM CARB.
KN AIRFILTER
ACCEL HEI DISTRIBUTOR
160* Stat, just switched to 180* b/c of winter coming and going to college in the mts.
3:73 Posi
Rebuilt 700R4
B&M Megashifter, 5" Autometer Tach w/shift lite

Xenodrgn

Ok, I'll contribute...

Once, I had a radiator leak... went to the junkyard, pulled one out of a similar year Camaro w/auto, had some guys pressure test it and bought it for like 45 bucks...

Took it home, took out the old one. Dad decides he wants to help and puts the new one in, gets it in, close everything off, and I start it up to ensure no leaks...

I didn't even get my butt out of the drivers seat when I hear my dad shouting, "shut it off, SHUT IT OFF!!"... I slam my a$$ back in the seat and shut it off...

There, right below the tranny coolant lines is a large puddle of tranny fluid. You want to know what my dad says?

"Yeah, it felt kinda funny when it was going in, I guess I crossthreaded it."

...

So then I had to go out and buy a new rad... I did it right the next time and got as brand new lifetime garentee Aluminum one... I put -that- one in myself, and havn't had any probs since.

To top the story off, I never did get back in time (30 days) to return the old rad and get my money back... :sigh: oh well...

Another dumb thing... I once pulled a spark plug boot off it's plug to check for spark, WHILE THE ENGINE WAS RUNNING! Holy heart attack batman... that was one of the nastiest shocks I ever got... (the worst one was from a disposable camera... I pulled the film out myself to save some processing costs, and was playing with the empty shell. I turned the flash on, held it on and let it fully charge, and I was looking for the terminal to short to get the flash to go off, well I accidentaly (didn't see it) touched the capacitor that stores the electricity to operate the flash... my entire body surged, I spazzed and dropped the camera, and sat in a daze for a good few minutes... the best part was when I picked it back up and did it again trying to see what happened... same results... I've since learned my lesson)

If you get enough entries, you could probably write a book with all the dumb stuff people have done...

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1985 Camaro SC - 2.8L, auto.

C'mon, spin 'em for papa...
http://www.xenodrgn.f2s.com/Frontright.jpg

Mark A Shields

I did the same thing with the spark plug wire, I was trying to see if I could find a miss. It scared the **** out of me.

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"Rice burners are like tampons...Every pu$$y has to have one"
'86 IROC
T-TOPS, TINTED WINDOWS, BRAKE LIGHT BLACKOUTS
GM GOODWRENCH 350
EDELBROCK TES HEADERS
3" Hooker CatBack w/Aero Chamber muffler
EDELBROCK 600CFM CARB.
KN AIRFILTER
ACCEL HEI DISTRIBUTOR
160* Stat, just switched to 180* b/c of winter coming and going to college in the mts.
3:73 Posi
Rebuilt 700R4
B&M Megashifter, 5" Autometer Tach w/shift lite

Pukka

I was driving on a road about 55mph when my drivers side T-top started squeaking. This is a common occurance and usually I either ignore it or put gentle pressure with my hand on it to make it stop.
For some strange reason I decided to see if the T-top was properly locked and tried the lever.


It wasnt locked.


I heard a click and before I could yell "oh ****" the panel went airborne and almost took my finger with it. I watched it sail at least 20ft in the air from my side view mirror, then heard it bounce and shatter on the other side of the road. To this day I am grateful that it didn't land on top of another car. I then spent about 2 hours driving back and forth on that stretch of road (in a rural area) to find what remained since it slid off the road into the weeds. Needless to say I was the laughing stock of the family for quite some time.

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92 Camaro RS, LO3, 5-spd, T-tops

Performance:
K&N Open Air Filter, Edelbrock performer TBI intake, Fastchip Prom, Timing +4 degrees, Centerforce clutch, Xact 8mm wires, SLP 1 3/4" Headers (coated), Flowmaster Catback Exhaust, Richmond 3:42 gears, Torsen HD Posi
Sights & Sounds:
Alpine 8030 Alarm System, Valentine One Radar Detector (How did I ever drive without one?), Pioneer DEH 7450 Head Unit w/6-pack CD changer, Pioneer DEQ 7600 Sound Processor, 2 Kenwood KAC-846 Amps powering 2 12" Pro Red subs, 2 Pioneer 6x9 and 2 MTX 4x6 speakers. Z28 grille w/aftermarket lights, MacEwen whiteface gauges
NEXT UP: TBI & Suspension mods

Matt87GTA

While I was wrenching at a Chevrolet dealer I had a pretty fun time with a friends air ratchet....

When I first started wrenching, I was pretty low on cash so I bought a few 'get-me-by' tools. One of these was a 1/2" IR air ratchet. It was pretty gutless and was less powerful than a Blue Point 1/4" drive air ratchet (You guys that wrench know how worthless those things are.....). The thing was alright but it was pretty much only good for interior work. I was using it one day, maybe two months after I started, to put a seat back in and I 'torqued' down the last nut and it made a funnier than usual blow-gun-like whooshing sound. I pulled it off and hit the trigger again and it was clear to me that the thing was pretty much just an awkward blow gun at that point....

My next job had me R+R a transmission from an early 80's Regal. So I borrowed one of the other guys Snap On 1/2" air ratchets - you know, the big daddy. So I stick my socket and extensions up through the framerail to get at one of the crossmember bolts. I hit the trigger but I was not expecting to be greeted with the large amount of torque that the ratchet was capable of. The damn thing slipped half way out of my hand, spun back around and smacked me right in the nose. The bad part was that the air hose wrapped around my hand and pinned my thumb on the trigger. So I went reeling backwards from the blow of the ratchet but my hand, the ratchet, and the air hose just kept flying around in a tornado until my thumb finally slipped off the trigger button. Unfortunately, right about then, I had recovered from the first blow and turned my head just in time to see the ratchet come off the extensions and smack me in the chin.

I just stood there, bruised and dazed, for a few minutes with a snarled mass of air hose and ratchet wrapped around my right hand. I looked around quickly.... Whew! only one guy was busting a gut laughing. I looked at him and gave him the shoosh sign. He nodded between laughs..... I knew that was useless and by Lunch time everyone knew..... I had lost round one with the air ratchet........ and I had the bruised nose and chin to prove it........

One of the guys brought in a big metal bowl and used his little hammer to hit the thing every time I picked up an air tool.... sounded just like the ringside bell at a boxing match.......

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1987 GTA L98 MD8
355, TFS Heads, LT4 Hot Cam
My GTA

The Minnesota F-body Club

RB83L69

Hmmmm....

There was a time I cranked up a drill with an oil system priming rig on a motor on a stand... I suddenly found $20 worth of Mobil 1 down my pants leg and filling up my shoe.... I had forgot to put the oil filter on it.

Once I was changing a cam, and couldn't get some of the lifters all the way out. So I pulled them all up as far as I could, which was enough to get the cam out; then I was pushing them back down and taking them out that way. I dropped one, heard it hit a couple or rods and crankshafts and such, then the comforting oil pan sound. I thought I could just leave it. So I put the new cam in and all, and buttoned everything up. I got in the car and sat down to start it (4-speed), the instant it started I heard this funny soft "thoonk" kind of sound, then after that everything seemed normal. So I took it out for a test drive. Well, it had the oil leak from hell. I got up under it and found the source, and lo and behold, there was a lifter sticking halfway out the side of the pan... it must have landed onthe "windage tray" part of the pan, and got slung by the crank the first time it came around. So I spooged a little piece of sheet metal over this perfect .0825" hole in the side of the pan.

I'd prefer not to remember all of the unintended baths in trans fluid or antifreeze I've taken, or parts dropped in unspeakable locations, or smashed fingers and thumbs, or razor blade cuts... OBTW, one of the sharpest objects known to man is the edge of a lobe of a used cam, maybe you can guess how I know that...

Another cute one was the time I was helping my brother move. One of the last things was his 69 Chevelle SS396 convertible, which was TU at the time. His roommate had a big trailer, such as you might haul around a bunch of golf carts on or something; it was plenty big and strong enough for a car. So after we were all done with everything else, we backed the 69 up onto the trailer and tied it down. I was using my 74 454 Caprice convertible as the tow car. About halfway to where we were going, a (person ethnically deprived of intelligence) ran a red light right in front of me. I stood on the brakes, and just barely missed T-boning the moron. But as I did so we heard a loud noise come from behind us. We turned around and looked, and there was the 69, with its back bumper sitting on the area of the 74 between the top molding and the front of the trunk lid. It had broken the ropes (!) we had used to tie it with. It had rolled up over the front edge of the trailer, hit the trunk, slid up onto the deck lid, and the wheels had hit the trunk and stopped the car; if it had kept going, all 3 of us in the car would certainly have been decaptitated (and probably would have lost our heads too!).

I could go on, there's been too many to tell them all.

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"So many Mustangs, so little time..."
ICON Motorsports

yellowiroc2

this one time I almost sold my IROC...can you believe that?????? stupid me!!!

I guess i can contribute about a million things to this one.

The day i bought my car, i took it out with some friends. Passenger made me stop on a country road and go through the gears. first time ever shifting an auto. i shifted out of first at 5k. Came to a stop about a mile ahead... smoke followed me. hoped it be brakes, didn't look under the car, too scared. Made it to another friends house, got out of the car, a happy trail follows. i back the car up to find a puddle of tranny fluid. blew it!!! no car, no money for 4 months. had it rebuilt, blew the main seal again 6 months later. had the tranny pulled, replaced the seal... blew it again a year later. put in a shift kit and had a tranny guru work his magic, hasn't blown since.

i broke an exhaust manifold bolt off in the head when i did headers. my dad tries drilling it out with the heads on the car, drills off to the left and hits a coolant passage in the head... coolant all over. i'm supposed to drive back to school 100 miles away the next day. Best dad ever says he'll buy new heads and pay to have them put on. I guess bad things can lead to good. Now it has 305 torquers, new oil pump, new motor mounts, headers, catco, cam, and all new sensors. SWEET!!!

BadSS

I was at a local speed shop when a dude came in and wanted a skirt kit for his 78 Olds Cutlas. They told him they didn’t carry ground effects, and those of us there didn’t know IF anyone had any for that car,,, maybe McLauren. He said,, “ No man,, I don’t want no ground effects. I want that thing you put in the transmission that makes it go “SKIRT”! If I had known how many times I would have told that story in 6 years,, and laughed at it,,, I would have bought him the shift kit!!!

[This message has been edited by BadSS (edited October 18, 2001).]

johnsjj2

When I was 14, my father bought a clapped out 72 Chevelle. We spent over a year rebuilding the whole thing. I loved that car. We agreed that when I got my license, I would pay for half of what we put in. But I couln't wait. I had to drive it. Small town, quiet, 1 cop around. 2 friends and I go out to the country. 1 of them has a license. He brought his Toyota, and offered to switch for 1 mile. Okay miles up, all is good. Well I get back in and just have to burn the tires. Remember when your 15, you don't think real clear. It had an auto, so I hit 5k and dropped in 1st. Well, the rear U-joint broke, and sheared off the cap bolts in the differential yoke. Bent the drivshaft a little from meeting with the ground 900 times or so. Anyway, I told my dad I did it by the house b/c I was allowed to drive from the shop to the house which is about 50 yards.
My father bought a 69 LeMans and we restored it also. One day after the engine from the wrecked Chevelle (yes I wrecked it into a tree, yes it hurt) No interior, he bolts a drivers seat in with 2 bolts, and keeps them loose. He is coming up the hill to the shop, and cracks into, the car pitches sideways, gets straight, and then the seat slides forward planting his foot back on the gas. Sideways again, only he doesn't expect it. Clears a speed limit sign by 2 feet, and brings it into the shop. This was/is the only time I have seen this 43 (at the time), year old man come out of a car, ghost white, and shivering. It was fun to watch.



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Joshua Johnston
1991 Z-28
350, T-5, K&N, Ported Vortec heads, Edelbrock RPM, Holley 750 D.P., HEI, 11.07:1 CR, Comp Cams Roller-.510"/.520"-282*/288* dur., Shorty Headers, Dual 2.5 Exhaust, Dynomax Bullet Mufflers, T&R Motorsports custom air intake, Bald tires

ede

my most memorable experience: i was changing traction bars on 69 z/28 race car and had jack stand on axle (if i remember correctly). well when i got the last nut off the J bolt the rear end shoots up and the spring shoots down pinning my right hand palm up under the back of the 1/2 impact i had been using. the deep impact socket had the 4" long bolt in it and i couldn't get it off me or the bolt. thought i broke my hand and i couldn't get it out. was home alone and wasn't expecting anyone for 4 or 5 days. i laid there for 1/2 hour thinking what to do and not drop more of the car on me. finially i reached a floor jack with my foot and got it over to me and got the car off my hand.

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ICON Motorsports
1st & 3rd
MM Black Diamond 538 F&AM

eightTfourTA

iTrader: (3)

This was my crash-course in how concealed thirdgen headlights work. I needed to replace the bulb in the driver's side marker light and found that I could just get my hand underneath the headlight and to the marker fixture if I cranked it up 1/2 way. So I did that, and then wedged the marker light socket in between the headlight and the front fascia so it wouldn't fall back in. The battery was dead at this time, so while at the store I bought a new battery and put it in before I went to replace the bulb.
I put the bulb in the fixture while it's still wedged between the headlight and the front, then positioned my hand back inside near the marker light fixture.
When I pulled the socket out of this wedge I put it in, the now-energized motor clamps the headlight down on my arm, trying to return to its closed position. I couldn't crank it up by hand 'cause the motor would just try to crank back down again as soon as i'd turn the wheel, and no one else was around to assist.
So there I am for about 10 mins, out back of the shop I work at, my headlight trying to eat my arm, and a guy working in the shop next to mine comes out for a smoke; once he saw me, I kinda just gave him a sheepish look and he just busted out laughing so hard he choked on his smoke. He came over and flipped the headlight switch to release me.

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D.R. Stevens
1984 Trans Am 305HO L69
all the usual external/free mods, original engine
1991 Firebird 305 L03
2 free mods and a K&N,
otherwise stock

firbird

lmao never heard that one before, you live in orlando.. humm i am going down there soon might see you soon

GTARob

We had just finished installing my 383. It only had open headers on as the next thing to do was to take it to the shop and have the ypipe welded in.(damn edelbrock) We got all of the tools out of the way and put up and set the car on the ground. I got in and we went through the process of setting the timing so that it would start. We cranked it over and took it to 2k RPM's. After about 2 minutes I notice sparks flying under the car through the still uncovered tranny tunnel hole. About the time I notice that my cousins eyes got as big as saucers and he started yelling SHUT IT DOWN!! He ran to the pass. side of the car and began kicking and stomping wildly. Thats when I noticed the flames coming up over the pass. side fender. We had remebered to get everything out of the way except the tranny fluid and engine cleaner soaked peice of cardboard we had been using to lie down on under the car. After the smoke cleared and we had soaked the remnents of the cardboard down, we noticed the two 1/2' deep and 6' wide craters where the headers were pointed.

Robert

Mark A Shields

When I had my first car ('80 Mustang) I decided to do a simple headlight replacement. So I took out ALL the screws. My Dad came out and was kind of mad. I took out all the screws alright including the fixture screws.

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"Rice burners are like tampons...Every pu$$y has to have one"
'86 IROC
T-TOPS, TINTED WINDOWS, BRAKE LIGHT BLACKOUTS
GM GOODWRENCH 350
EDELBROCK TES HEADERS
3" Hooker CatBack w/Aero Chamber muffler
EDELBROCK 600CFM CARB.
KN AIRFILTER
ACCEL HEI DISTRIBUTOR
160* Stat, just switched to 180* b/c of winter coming and going to college in the mts.
3:73 Posi
Rebuilt 700R4
B&M Megashifter, 5" Autometer Tach w/shift lite

chevymad

Ever get stuck in a trunk?

A customer brought in a giant old caddy. Anyway there was a problem with the trunk and I needed to adjust the springs by moving them to the next tighter notch. Trunk was so big only way to reach was to climb in. Well the spring slipped off the pry bar and the trunk came slammin down. Now here I am trapped in a trunk on a day with only me and the guy running the front counter working. Got lucky though the parts guy was walking to the storage room and I heard him and yelled. Embarrassing.

83 Crossfire TA

iTrader: (2)

Probably not my most stunning bit of automotive idiocy, but my most recent:

Ever notice how the jack handle of a large floor jack fits perfectly over a ½” drive craftsman ratchet? Well, I was installing a Transgo shift kit and had the jack under the car, lifting the front of the car a little higher with the tires still touching the ramps and the back on jackstands to get just a little more room to move around.

Ever notice how when you remove half the jack handle from one of those jacks the spring is strong enough to cause the jack handle to point straight up… well, that’s what it did. Well, as with every hydraulic jack I’ve ever seen when pushed all the way up it lowers on it’s own a little bit. When I finally go to lower the jack I reach up and try to pull the handle down to install the second half and it won’t move. Look underneath… the car settled down enough that the jack handle is about 1” or a little more _through_ the lower radiator support and working it’s way into the bottom of the radiator.

Ever kill bugs using a lighter and starting fluid? The fireball just vaporizes them. Don’t try it in a body shop bay lined with florescent lights. Imagine a half a dozen 8’ florescent bulbs exploding around you…

Beer + front suspension springs in a spring compressor don’t go well together. We couldn’t think of a way that we considered ‘safe’ to unload the spring after compressing it, so we decided that the best way was to toss it as high up in the air above the front yard as we could. About midway through it’s arc in the air I think we all realized how stupid that just was and all hit the ground. When the spring hit the ground one of the cast end pieces of the compressor cracked in half firing the spring compressor through one of the front windows of the house about 30’ away.

While swapping a rear axle in my 4th gen I asked my wife to steady the end of the axle while the center section was being supported by my famous shop jack. I was disconnecting everything that attached it to the body when my wife decided that it isn’t quite sitting straight and YANKED on the end of the axle. It fell off the jack and onto my hard head. Ripped all the ABS wiring out of the car also.

Rebuilding suspension parts in a friends shop, my friend set the can of spray paint that we were fogging parts with on top of the wood stove that heated the shop. Covered the front of the car with black paint as it shot like a rocket through the ceiling.

If in doubt about a carbide tipped cutting blade, DON’T USE IT. I was cutting out blower brackets with one and was scared ****less when as soon as I touched the piece of aluminum 3 carbide teeth shot by my head at 6 million miles an hour.

When you finish installing headers do not go on the customary open collector maiden voyage through a grassy field. Dry grass fires are hard to put out.

I can keep going but I really don’t want people to think that I’m that stupid…


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Mark
'87 Formula 350
’83 Crossfire TA
'97 WS6 TA (for sale)

AJ_92RS

Just a few months ago, I was tuning up my mom and dad's '81 1/2 ton GMC in my garage. Well I saw all the black stuff on the carb and sprayed it down with carb cleaner on the inside and sprayed all the linkage. Then I left my brain under the hood. I went and started the truck so I could set the timing, and BOOM!!!!!. It backfired from all the vapors and CAUGHT ON FIRE!!!!! Out of desperation I was thinking about what they taught us in school about grease fires. You know, "Never throw water on a grease fire." I grabbed a rag and threw it on the engine trying to smother the flame. WHOOPS!!! It was the same rag that I used to wipe off the carb after spraying it with the carb cleaner. NOW ME HAVE BIGGER FIRE!!!!!!!!

So I grabbed a cup and ran outside to the garden spicket to fill it. ****!!!!! I forgot that I took the plastic **** off because the dog was chewing it to pieces. So back in the garage I ran, grabbed the ****, ran back outside, and filled the cup with water. Luckily I was able to drown the fire with no damage to the engine. NOW there's a fire extinguisher on the wall in the garage.

Better yet, back in high school, when the truck was mine, I pulled up and parked in front of the grocery store that this HOT chic worked at. I was gonna go in and talk to her. Well I got out, locked the door, grabbed it with my right hand, and kinda back-handed it closed.

I SLAMMED THE DOOR ON MY MIDDLE FINGER and could not pull it out!!!! AND, I had already stuck the keys in my right front pocket!! I had to reach into my right front pocket with my left hand and dig the keys out, while my finger was stuck in the door. Of course I was kinda 'walking in circles' like a dog chasing it's tail. Needless to say that she (and the rest of the world) looked out the window and saw me. Talk about feeling stupid!!!! It was definately an ice breaker though. We had plenty to talk about after that!!!!

AJ

[This message has been edited by AJ_92RS (edited October 18, 2001).]

slowV8berlinetta

I got some more. At the dealer i worked at, the lube tech couldn't get the plug/filter cover off for an in-pan filter, so he used an impact and created a huge spiralled puddle that was a perfect circle and showered him with oil.
one time i took apart the light switch for my lumina because the dome light wouldn't come on with the switch, and springs and levers shot every where. it wouldn't go together right so if the car was parked over night the headlights could come on aat random, and drain my battery. My girlfriends step dad jumped my car every morning for like 3 weeks until i wired in some toggle switches.
on the same lumina i was replacing rear pads and when turning the ratcheting piston, i was going the wrong way and it popped out in my hand. I had to call my boss and tell him i was gonna be late for work.
I'll probably think of more later.

ViciousZ

iTrader: (1)

So my brother calls me up one Monday morning saying he has a little problem with his car. What's it doing? I ask.
Ahhh, nothing. he replies We just need to change the oil.
Why?
Ohhh, no reason. We, ahh, just really need to change the oil.
So after a little prodding and pestering the truth comes out.
Well, he says, The car was overheating a little yesterday, so I thought it might need some antifreeze. Anyway, I came out this morning, and poured in the whole gallon before I thought to myself, hmm, something seems not-quite-right. Then I looked down at the cap in my hand and it said "OIL". And I looked at the car and said to myself 'That's not my radiator...' Doh!
Anyway, he had to call into work and explain to his boss (who told everyone at the office) why he was gonna be late. And when the boss-man told him to just change the oil, his reply was 'aww, jeez, now I gotta call my little sister to come and fix it'.

Every time I tell that story people ask "Your brother did that?" Yeah, I say. "YOUR brother??" People assume since I'm a girl that can work on cars that I must come from a family of automotive geniuses. The truth of the matter is that my brother can't tell his head from his a$$ (or his engine from his radiator) and my mom, well, she's smart enough to know better than to try.

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91 Z28
Come see The Vicious...

Damon

Fewe of a million stupid things:

Hooking up battery, polarity reversed due to the fact that my POS beater had bo-bo battery cables- red and black were reversed. Blew the snot out of the alternator diodes. Various wires b egan smoking. Couldn't figure why the starter wouldn't engage, either.

Cam install. Easy, right? Not if you use an impact wrench to tighten down the rocker arm nuts. Ahh, youth!! Pontiac motors use non-adjustable valvetrains that you just tighten the nut down to 30 ft/lbs. Small Block Chevys went together considerably different, I later found out.

How about swapping front springs in a 1980 Z-28? Easy, right? Pop lower ball joint, slowly lower a-arm until spring loses tension, remove spring. Except this time the spring decides to exit the spring pocket LONG before all tension is removed. It bounces off the far wall (turning the cinder block it hits to rubble) and then blows past me so fast I'm left just kinda shaking and trembling, relizing I almost became the post child for garage tragedy.

eightTfourTA

iTrader: (3)

Oh yeah, I forgot one that my dad pulled when I was a little kid. I heard most of this from a friend of his who was present at the time so i'm not sure if this is the way it really happened, but it's pretty funny.

He was changing the battery on his 1980 POS Escort and didn't have the right sized wrench for the terminal bolts. So, he gets the vise grips and goes at it. He gets the dead battery out no prob. Then he puts the new one in place and hooks up the ground first, mistake #1. Then as he's tightening the positive bolt, the back of the vise grips contacts the negative post, he gets zapped and goes reeling back, and -POOF- the top of the new battery blew straight off.

Looking back, I do kinda remember a certain day that my mom told me to stay away from dad because he was working on the car.

PhantomChamp

Let me just say that if you suspect the small puddle on the driveway is battery acid, don't taste it to find out.

EO273KiD

Humm, I'm sure I have a million of these, but the story about the vise grips reminded me of my own battery/vise grip story...

I was trying to pull the positive terminal off the battery, as I had already loosened the bolt but it wouldn't budge. So I placed my pair of vise grips on the terminal and gave it a pull to twist it off... well, it broke free, and spun 180 degrees and the adjusting screw touched the negative and sparks went flying.

I tried to pull on the vise grips, but it had welded/melted to the negative post... by now it was getting REALLY hot and I knew I only had a few seconds before something bad was going to happen, so I took a step back and kicked at the vise grips, breaking the unintentional weld and saving plastic pieces from being in my face...

I went out and bought a puller for $3 within a week..

89rsRod

well i think i take the cake on doing the dumbest thing ever. once i was going to change my upper radiator house on my 89 camaro. all i had to do was loosin the clamp and take it off right? well being the moron i was, i thought i had to remove the whole thermostat housing, why i did this ill never know. so as am taking out one of the screws in the housing, i cross threaded it! doh! i had to have it towed over and have it drilled and tapped out and it ended up costing me 100dollars for one stupid mistakes.
also, this story is pretty funny. my friend at a autoclass at school once told me that there was a kid working on this car once. anyways someone told him to go get some blinker fluid for the car, so the kid actually went and looked for some(this kid had to be on crack) after looking for an hour, he came back and said he couldnt find any blinker fluid, meanwhile everyone was dying of laughter. the best part was that after they told him that there is no such thing as blinker fluid cuz its electrical, he didnt believe them and still went out looking for more blinker fluid! lol

lonsal

iTrader: (2)

Someone needs to revise the Boy Scout manual to include this. I scored a set of C&C t-tops from a local Pick-a-Part. I was disassembling them to rebuild my set. I had them resting on a stacked set of tires, concave side pointing up. I had just finished the first t-top and decided ot go in for lunch. I set the second one on top of the tires and headed inside. A few minutes later I remembered I had some water on in the back and went out to turn it off. As I walked past the car somethng caught my eye. The edge of my wood shake roof was smoking! There was a bright beam of light focused on it about 4" in diameter. I grabbed the garden hose and had it out in short order. But I learned a valuable lesson on how to start a fire. I have a charred shingle to remind me.

GoldenSwordZ28

I haven't been working with cars for as long as most of you have but do to my status as a 'newb' I made some mistakes that even I'll laugh at now.

I had gone out and bought a '85 Firebird for $120 to see if I could do anything with it, and you know, kinda use it as a project car. Well, I had it towed to my house and left in my driveway.... which meant that I had to go and push it into the garage (Which was uphill)... so I did... once it was in the garage I sat there in the car and REALLY wanted to see if I could spark it up and bring it back to life... so I was messing around with the plugs and plug wires and found around 14 Plug Wires in there, and only around 6 actually on Plugs, well, I fixed that up and pulled out all the wires that weren't needed... and got in the car. Now this car is a manual 5-Speed (I belive), and I've never driven a stick before... everyone told me how easy it was, so, of course I figured I'd try out my new working toy... so I started her up, and everyone I kept talking to just said "Its simple, just press the clutch peddle in, shift into first and then left off of the clutch peddle and give it some gas", so I did exactly that....

Lemme just tell you there was more rubber and smoke in the garage then I think was on the tires, and to make matters worse I launched the 'bird down the driveway towards the neighbors house.... so here comes the neighbors house and then the engine dies, cutting off my power steering, and since I'm used to automatic I pressing in the clutch like its the break..... hehe, I ended up in there front yard with a mail-box in the front of my car

Another time, I had bought a Haynes manual, and decided to see how to check the trans-mission fluid. So I'm under the car with a breaker bar and a mallet... and I had just happened to pick the wrong bolt to release Hehe, I had a red face, red hair and a BIG mess to cleanup (Not to mention a mouth full of tranny fluid).

-Adam

mcconahay37

iTrader: (3)

Here's a link to a post I started a couple weeks ago called "What NOT to do when working on your car." It ogt up to 84 replies

https://www.thirdgen.org/messgboard/...ML/014145.html

The mouthful of tranny fluid got me thinking of when I was working at Wal-Mart changing oil and I accidentally grabbed the wrong filter. It went on, but not tight enough. I thought it was and gave my guy the go ahead to start it up. All of a sudden, the filter flies off, oil sprays all over me, the filter bounces on the drain pan, smacks me in the chin, and I'm yelling "CUT IT OFF, CUT IT OFF." I had oil covering my face, in my hair, soaking my shirt almost all the way to my waist, and I was spitting oil for forever. The rest of the guys in the shop were busting out laughing and were riding me about that for almost a month.

camaroguy99

I just posted this on the above topic but might as well put it here too

As I was putting my brand new built 350 into by beloved camaro, I realized I needed to grab something out of the front of the garage. Now with the engine being suspended 6 ft. in the air, the center of gravity of the engine lift is moved quite a bit forward. Unfortuneatly I didn't realize how close the hoist was to the garage door. Well as door went up, the hoist went down, rather quickly I might add. After I heard large crashes I quickly put the door back down and went out to see what happened. Too my suprise my new engine was now sitting in my drivers seat. Last time I checked that not where it belonged...

92RSB4C

When me and my dad were changing the front suspension over from our 86 Z28 to our 92 RS he had stuck his hand near the spring to wiggle it. It popped loose and it grabbed my dad's finger. Usually, he would be saying a million bad words, but it hurt him so bad, he couldn't talk. Also, when we put the same spring in the 92, the spring compressor tool broke, and went flying. Have you ever had a chunk of steel fly by your head? It's not a cool feeling!

When we were done with the suspension swap and buttoning everything up, the brake line we had to take off had stripped out the proportioning valve. Another week and another $100.

We Tropical Storm Allison blew by down here, my neighbor, thinking it would only get worse, decides to go rescue his family coming back from somewhere. Well, he drove his 94 Toyota 4x4 Truck which had a good foot of ground clearance, but it was no match for 2 ft. waters. In the end, he was to blame for not revving his engine.

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Chevy World Home Page Tripod Home Page Speak up for our hot rodding rights!!!

Enkil

Well, to save money I decided I was going to put a tire on a rim by myself, and removed the old one with a steak knife...

I did eventually get the old one off, but I never got the new tire on.

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89 iroc-z 305 tbi
k&n filtercharger, open element air filter. nuffin' else

drive it

iTrader: (1)

Just don't sit with the brake caliper in your lap as you blow the piston and all the old fluid out......as I found out later in the day-brake fluid is very corrosive on scrotal skin.....



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86 406

Enkil

Dude, that's just wrong.

mr2fast4u

Ouch!

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1992 Z/28 305 Purple Haze

slowV8berlinetta

My first car was a 68 cutlass wagon. This was in 1998. the ignition was in the dash, and this was before devices like buzzers for the lights or key in door open or the key couldn't be removed until the car was in park. one day after school, my car wouldn't start. nothing-nada-zilch. knowing that when hot, it sometimes would do this i wiggled the starter wire while someone else turned the key-nothing. I bummed a ride home and returned with my dad and a jack. My dad raised the car and jumped the starter terminals to see if it would crank. The car lurched forward while he was underneath and the front wheels were in the air. He emerged ghost-white, lowered the car and stuck his arm through the window and put it in park. "Start your car," were the only words that came out of his mouth. He actually thought that i was trying to kill him.

Mark A Shields

You've just reminded me of a story. My first car was a 1980 Mustang. I was in 10th grade and you couldn't drive to school unless in 11th grade. So for the first couple of times I parked at the electic company parking lot. In the morning I was in a hurry to get out of the car as not to be noticed because I wasn't supposed to park there. As I walked to school about a 5min walk I thought maybe I left my lights on. So the whole day I was wondering whether or not my car would start. The end of the day comes and I go to my car and the first thing I do is look at my light ****. It was off so I was relieved. But then the car didn't start. So I ended up getting a ride home about 15 mins away. I tell my Dad the car wouldn't start so we go and just before we pull in I said um I forgot my keys so back to the house we went to get them of course he wasn't too happy about that. We got back to the car and tried to jump it, and there was nothing. After about 5mins. my Dad slides the shifter into park and he says start the car. I felt like an idiot.

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"Rice burners are like tampons...Every pu$$y has to have one"
'86 IROC
T-TOPS, TINTED WINDOWS, BRAKE LIGHT BLACKOUTS
GM GOODWRENCH 350
EDELBROCK TES HEADERS
3" Hooker CatBack w/Aero Chamber muffler
EDELBROCK 600CFM CARB.
KN AIRFILTER
ACCEL HEI DISTRIBUTOR
160* Stat, just switched to 180* b/c of winter coming and going to college in the mts.
3:73 Posi
Rebuilt 700R4
B&M Megashifter, 5" Autometer Tach w/shift lite

Eggplant Jeff

Here's mine...

My radiator cracked, so I ordered a new one from the local dealer (well, that was stupid thing number 1. Autozone's price: $100. Dealer price: $350).

Anyway, 84ZZ4 comes over to help me install it. I had the old one out when he got there, we put the new one in, hooked everything up, start filling. I'm pouring, and suddenly coolant is pouring out the side of the radiator! We immediately check for hoses we forgot to hook up. There aren't any. There's a little spout on the side of the radiator, that is just pouring coolant out on the ground. So we go check the old radiator. It has the exact same spout, except there is no hole in the middle. The new one has a hole there! WTF?? A great deal of cursing later, we come up with a solution. I grabbed a bolt that was almost a snug fit in the hole, and we ran over to Trak Auto and grabbed some JB Quik Weld (sets in 4 minutes!). Cover bolt with JB weld, insert bolt in hole. Wait 10 minutes, fill radiator, start engine, problem solved!

Start cleaning up, pick up box... Hey, what's that? GM was nice enough to include a coolant level sensor (optional on a few years, my car didn't have one) that -- by the way -- goes in that hole and keeps coolant from falling out.

DOH! Always check the box!

I still have that bolt in my radiator.

1984Firebird502

I was putting in my new engine when I relized that it wasn't the car I wanted to put the new engine in! Turns out, I ended up putting a 305 SBC in a 1995 Honda Accord.
I'm just joking.

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1984 Firebird SE
1985 Camaro z28 305 engine T-5 Five Speed Tranny Performer Intake, Accel Distributor, Raceing Starter, 650 CFM Carb, .488 Lift Cam, Dual Exhaust.
92 Camaro Leather Seats Console, carpet everything. Soon to put in 700R4 and 427CI. (Hopefully)

slowV8berlinetta

don't remove the adjustment screws when replacing headlights.
don't decide to make a new exhaust system with a turbo muffler, some flex pipe and a dull hacksaw
when getting high in your true dual exhaust car, don't drive around for hours after losing a muffler
don't cram 6 people in a car that already rides low
always wear safety glasses when working under a car irregardless of how clean you think the underbody is
don't try removing and rebuilding a qjet on your own when you don't even know how to remove it--don't twist steel fuel inlet line
you do need those screws that were left over after reassembling your carb
that galvanized muffler strapping is only for temporary use
it is not normal for the brake light to come on when you press the brake pedal
don't step on the brake pedal with the master cylinder cover off
don't check your tire pressure with your eye- you WILL overfill it
don't try to drive a station wagon all winter with no heater or defroster, unless you want to keep a stick with a rag on it in your lap
don't touch the stock aircleaner to pour gas into the carb of a car that just backfired cus its out of gas
don't do donuts on dry pavement in a car with severely worn front end parts-it'll never be the same again
never open the hood of an old car that has been sitting in the same spot for a long time without a friend and a gun-badgers are really scary

lonsal

iTrader: (2)

I called the Dealer for the price of a new radiator. He said they don't stock it and their price is about 3 times more than anyone else sells it for. I guess my parts counter guy was more concerned that I didn't waste my money than yours. The new radiator I got has the hole you describe, but there was a plastic plug with an o-ring in it. The plug has two plastic prongs holding it in place. I've always been concerned that it would break and leak, but so far no problem. On a related note: Don't put off replacing your worn front struts and springs or you will be buying a new radiator. I was crossing the intersection too fast at night and didn't see the a drainage culvert. I bottomed the car HARD. Made it home and looked underneath for leaks. Yep, found one. The radiator was cracked about 1" below the fill neck. Not a fluke. I've known of two others that had this happen to them the same way. The radiator support flexes and cracks the plastic radiator end caps. 8^)



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90 RS Convertible
Owner: Top-Down Solutions
(626)369-0040

http://www.sc3gfb.org/members/lonsal.html
http://www.taskerinc.com/gs3/profiles/Lon_profile.htm

MetKiss316

Well I havn't done anything stupid yet, but my dad did something hilarious.

My dad owns a 79 Trans Am with T-tops. He had the T-tops out, and I asked him if he wanted to go see a buddy that worked at Maaco. He said sure, so we got in and took off. Half way to Maaco, it starts raining for some odd reason. No clouds, no nothing. So we pull over to the side of the road to put the T-tops on, and my dad opens the trunk and says "****." Im like "what is it?" He goes "I left the ****ing T-tops at the house from where i was cleaning the trunk out and forgot to put them back in. So its raining like hell and we haul *** back to the house. I was covering the radio with my hand and he was swirving in and out of traffic. We get back and we are soaking wet. Needless to say,

Never Leave Home Without Your T-Tops.

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1987 Camaro Sport Coupe 305 V8 LG4-rebuilt-All Stock.

Future Mods: Flowmaster American Thunder Cat-back, Catco High Flow Catalytic Converter, Hooker Super Comp Shorty Headers, Dual Snorkle Air Cleaner with K&N Filter, CompCam 264H, White Paint, 88-90 IROC wheels or BBS ASA JS5 wheels, Sony XPlod 50x4 head unit, KICKER Impulse Coaxials 4x6 speakers, KICKER Impulse Coaxials 6x9 speakers, KICKER ZR1000 Amp, KICKER 12 in. subs, Grant Steering Wheel, New Intake(Edelbrock carband manifold),New Fuel Pump, Ground Effects

watchmesuck

I guess I can reply to this as well. I had just recently bought an airdam for the car and decided that I would put it in right away. I don't have a driveway, so I was forced to do it in the street. The next door neighbor decides that he has to leave his driveway in a hurry and, with the five seconds I had, I managed to pull my legs underneath the car and smash my face into the bottom of car few times.

[This message has been edited by watchmesuck (edited October 22, 2001).]

SpeedCat86

Always set the parking brakes. Especially if you have diddled with your automatic transmission and gearshift lever. That little space between Reverse and Park is really Neutral.
I discovered this after my T/A autopiloted itself across a Wal-Mart parking lot one afternoon. As I walk out of the store, I notice that people are driving around this car blocking the entrance road. My friend says 'Hey, that looks like your car!' I notice that my parking space in the corner of the lot, is now conspicuously empty.
When I had finished installing the new shifter, I had fogotten to tighen the bolts on the cable bracket (the one on the trans pan) So the trans would shift out of Reverse, but not in to Park.

transfixleo

Many many years ago we replaced the engine in my buddies chevy truck. Just doing this was fun because it was winter time and we had no heat. I remember standing in front of a space heater and I had one of those thermal vests on. All of a sudden I smell something. The sort of plastic material covering it was starting to burn! But that is not the best part. Once we got done, I was standing on the passenger side, my buddy who owned the truck (but wasn't very mechanical) was on the rivers side and my other buddy closed the hood. Well the owner had his hands on the fender...

I feel terrible to admit this but I didn't know if his fingers got chopped off or what (they didn't, thank *** that the hood was off center on the first try) but I just looked, I think my eyes did a Roger Rabbit bug out, and I started laughing my @$$ off, literally rolling on the floor. I guess I watched too many cartoons on TV as a kid!

99Hawk120

Things not do:

When all your friends swear your 10-bolt will outlast your T5 and you disagree, don't take it to the track to prove them wrong. It will only take two launches to break the rear and you'll be going home in a tow truck.

RTV is not strong enough to replace the power steering box lid gasket.

Overtightening the adjustment nut on top of the power steering box is bad.

When replacing the steering box (because you were a dumb *** and didn't listen to the above) do not rent a pickle fork to try and remove the pitman arm on a 16 year old car. Time and rust will have essentially made the box and the arm as one. Just buy a new pitman arm and save yourself the trouble.

Do not assume the fuel pressure regulator you just bought is set low enough to keep the needle on the seat in your carburetor.


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"Beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart, he dreams himself your master"

'84 Black Camaro Sport Coupe ZZ4 350 M6 -- '84 Olds Cutlass Supreme 231 A3
'91 Medium Blue Metallic Z28 400 A4 -- '99 Navy Blue Metallic Firehawk #120 346 M6

92fire-audio

Pretty much every time i go to do a repair, some little stupid part has to decide to break.. Do you guys ever get that feeling "well maybe it will work fine without it (or with it broken)"... I've probly learned my lesson on this one but generally something has to go wrong with every simple job..

Little story that happened last night.. My sister's rear cylinder went out on the drivers side.. Took it off, took pass. side drum off for sort of a diagram.. Put the new cylinder thing in. Put the brakes back together.. Put the drivers side drum back on.. "OK time to bleed them".. My dad's pumpin the brakes for like 10 minutes "Dang, there is like NO brake pressure from the pedal, is there still air in the lines?" I reply "It's gettin better, maybe we should go bleed the other side." I walk around the car and then realize after I see the giant puddle of brake fluid that the cylinder on that side was trying to push the shoes out and basically the spring broke on one of the shoes which caused the cylinder to snap.. The job then turned into double the work that it should have been.. Not to mention all the dang brake fluid that turned the garage floor into a skating rink..

slowV8berlinetta

on older transmissions, like turbo 350s perhaps, pay extremely close attention to which way the filter gets bolted in, becase having 2 bolts, it could go 2 different ways and still fit under the pan. the wrong way just won't allow you to move your shifter after you've put the pan back on, lowered the car and filled up the tranny. Doing the same job twice sucks.

88camaro

man..... i have tons of these....
but i dont want to sound too dumb so ill leave some out
but a few of them are
never ask your little brother too help you change the cluch slave cylinder, he might push the cluch befor you installed the cluch
...so fluid all over me,and garage, and need to get another one.
next don't try and disconnect and lower the transmission to the groud by your self (hand in cast for a week).
once you get the plugs out dont try and crank the motor before disconnecting the fuel pump,(fuel all over the place )(and people you'r checking the compression for.
another one is dont refill the oil after you drain it before putting the drain plug in ..........
and never hold the the sparkplug in your hand to check if there is a spark....(man that hurts, seriusly)
and i have tons of these but as i said i dont want to look to stupid so ill leave it at that

nativ

17 years old hooking up exhaust to collector on headers 6cyl. stang 68 3spd. plenty of working room but doing it in the dark. in a hurry to go out you know. using two open end wrenches. one sliped of and stuck in my right eye. went to hospital(after feeling my way into the house and listening to my mother screem and nearly pass out after seing it)got lucky only cut the white of the eye missed the iris by 1/8" i learned to use lots of lights and sockets or boxends when pulling at your face.many other abrasions cuts and burns plenty of puddles and other general lesons learnd since then to many to list. worst part is im still learning every time i work on my cars. but I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

92RSB4C

it is not normal for the brake light to come on when you press the brake pedal I think you got that backwards or something. A wrench in the eye is always good at least once a lifetime.

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Chevy World Home Page Tripod Home Page Speak up for our hot rodding rights!!!