holmes677

Dont take your manifold to y-pipe bolts off last when unbolting your entire exhaust, ecspecially not when your chest happens to be under it.

viperwsu

Make sure you know (and remember) exactly what parts are in your shiney new tool set you got for Christmas. Otherwise, you might waste 2 hours, and lots of knuckle skin, trying to remove something with a replacement that "kinda" works, when you have the appropriate tool 2 feet away.

The upshot is that you get to make up all sorts of new and fun swear words.

Stryder

Don't rebuild your Holley double pumper on your precious '68 in december without antifreeze and expect not to cry when comes carb tuning time and water and oil explode out from under the intake like Niagra Falls!!! On the lighterside I NEVER HEARD AN ENGINE SCREAM LIKE THAT UPHAND FOR THE FIRST TIME OHHH SO SWEET!!!!! Guess I can take the earplugs out know

dimented24x7

iTrader: (2)

When using any sort of powered reciprocating cutting tool. Always make sure there is adiquate clearence for the blade around the part you are cutting. Got a sprained wrist and a bloody lip form that one.

ChevyGuy87

when cleaning the interior of your camaro with leaky t-tops and decide to take the seats out, don't expect that the rusty nut will come off of the stud for the drivers seat bracket without a fight. and when it snaps flush with the floor pan and you drill and tap it to put a bolt in, don't forget to oil the tap. the broken tap is a LOT harder to get out than the broken stud. and when you realize that you can't get the tap out, don't think that a lag screw screwed into the floor pan will keep the seat in place for more than 2 days.

if you happen to buy a trans am with a blown engine that happens to be your new buddies old car, don't ask him to top off the antifreeze in the radiator when you start it for the first time after you rebuild the engine. he will forget to put the radiator cap back on when he hears that 3 inch exhaust for the first time in a year and walks behind the car to admire it, and when you shut the car off, your radiator will do it's geyser impression all over your freshly cleaned engine bay.

when you take that trans am for the first ride since you bought it a year before, don't forget the lower fan shroud. you won't notice the engine slowly overheating because you don't have a temperature gauge. and when the engine shuts itself off because it got so hot, you only have yourself to blame.

don't sit behind the wheel of your trans am before you have the engine and transmission in and press the clutch while making engine sounds. you will break something.

when building your first engine, make sure you have a buddy there to check for stuff you might forget. because you won't like taking the transmission out after you get everything bolted in place in the car because you forgot the pilot bearing.

when assembling the 350 for your trans am, dont pick up a cast iron cylinder head with 2 fingers in an intake port and your other middle finger in an exhaust port. the middle finger of your left hand in the exhaust port will slip, bending it sideways above your knuckle, and doing permanent damage. you will shake it off as a bruise, but it wont heal right. and you wont be able to bend that finger all the way down any more.

don't listen to haynes

Kingtal0n

<b>don't sit behind the wheel of your trans am before you have the engine and transmission in and press the clutch while making engine sounds. you will break something.
</b>

Im guilty of that one...

<b>when building your first engine, make sure you have a buddy there to check for stuff you might forget. because you won't like taking the transmission out after you get everything bolted in place in the car because you forgot the pilot bearing.
</b>
yep, Guilty too,

<b>don't listen to haynes</b>

Guilty. They said "it's not the pressure plate"
guess what, it was.

This is why I drive an automatic now...

and when you have a bad oil leak, then suddenly it goes away.. dont automatially think that it fixed itself... 'cause it didnt.. your engines just out of oil....

383 rocket bird

Do not get so frustrated while trying to adjust your timing by yourself on a hot car that you whip the wrench into the ground as hard as you can and having it bounce directly back up into your face. (bloody nose and upper lip)

Do not change carb jets while the screw driver can slip out of jets and into hand.

AFRO IROC Z

i have a couple stupid ones for you. When trying to adjust your rockers for the first time, and you are trying to set the no.1 cyl. to tdc, and you keep trying to use the nut on the crank to turn the engine over and you start to strip the crank pulley, check to make sure the trans. isn't in gear. Also when trying to change the oil pressure sending unit, make sure you don' t break it off and leave the nipple in the block flush with it. Also make sure the old gasket comes off with the old oil filter, or you'll have a hard time getting the new one to sit flush. and for those of you who know nothing about wiring or electrical systems, NEVER hook a jumper wire to the battery and touch it to any of the wire connectors in the wiring harness, becuase you may burn up your ignition module, and then spend 2 days trying to figure out what is wrong with your car. Also when your friend is working on his car and says that the tool he is using is stripping the bolt , double check and make sure he is using the right size bit.

84Z28_5.7ltr_V8

hahahahaha!


oh, heres a stereo one.

when taking headunit out, tape ends of power and ground wires sudden sparks may be frustrating, or burn something.

PyRo9862

The electronic one doesn't work while the car is in drive.

lockdude

That big, heavy power wire that you didn't feel needed a fuse needs to stay FAR away from the sheet metal screws you are about to put in. The smoke makes it a little hard to breathe.

And, yes, transmission fluid is a cheap replacement for power-steering fluid, unless the leak is above the exhaust manifold.

Snow banks are good for snuffing gas fires on your motor when you forget to grab your t-shirt you left on the motor 4 days ago.

One lugnut MIGHT hold your front wheel on at 70mph, but it scares you afterward when you actually start to think about it.

It'd be best to find that used alternator BEFORE you lower the top of your convertible, especially if the back window really IS made of glass.

If you're locked out of your car, check ALL your doors before you call me....and, no your window is NOT cheaper than I am.

Don't try to use Superglue on a toothpick to remove a broken key.

The last two are ones I've witnessed, the rest...Guilty!

Eats5.0's

iTrader: (1)

These are keeping me from working, but they are too good to quit reading..
Here's a few of mine from various projects:
When changing engine/tranny, if you can't get the speedo cable out of the transmission, don't think it will come out easier after you pull the eng/trans combo out.. It will, however, easily come off and strip the back of the speedo, and you still have to get it out of the tranny. Even though your dad just told you the correct way to do it.
After getting said engine swap done, don't drive it without power steering. May work for slow corners, but if you punch it while trying to make the corner, you will hit the tree.
Don't drive down the road thinking your windshield will defrost itself in a few seconds,, it won't, and the subsequent ditch and rock will damage your suspension.
When working on a station wagon that the rear window goes down on, ensure the window is not up before shutting the tailgate.

Air_Adam

*Make DAMN sure you remember to take the big nut off the steering shaft before you proceed to take off the steering wheel with a puller... you will majorly tweak the bolts (or break on like me, lol)
*Make sure your engine hoist has ALL of its legs attatched before you start to lift the engine (Good thing i noticed, huh? lol)
*Do not leave your hood right beside your car while in the middle of an engine swap unless you have ALOT of degreaser.
*Do not over tighten the non-center bolt valve covers, unless you like the sight of blue smoke over your exhaust manifolds/headers.
*After you buy your car, make VERY SURE all of your lug nuts are tight, or you will come home with only 2 of the original 5 on your front right wheel.
*Don't jerk the wrench when trying to remove spark plugs over tightened by the previous owner... it will not come out with the threaded half.
*Get a 3 foot long breaker bar when trying to remove a temperature sensor (intake man.) that is older than you are.
*Do not try to lift out the original motor without knowing how your clutch linkage works.
*Do not use safely pins to hold your T-Tops in the bag when you don't know how to put them in thr right way and the bag will not close.
*Do not try to reach for stuff in the bottom of your trunk while holding up the hatch (shocks, etc not working) because you will seriously tweak your arm.

Just my $0.02 (wish there was a "cents" button on my keyboard..)

breathment

¢

hehe

POS Camaro

Most of the ones I have done are already posted. Except:

* When changing the gas guage sending unit, don't try to drop the tank with 6 or 7 gallons still in it. It is heavy and really awkward to maneuver. (Especially since the tank is new and installed about 2 months earlier.)

84Z28_5.7ltr_V8

well.. if you got your key broken of fin the ignition, how the hell would you get it out, using a toothpick seems sort of logical...

TransAm12sec

are the keys magnetic?

84Z28_5.7ltr_V8

i dont think so, and even if you did use a magnet it would just stick to the damn key hole and wouldnt pull the key hole, i think you would need a pretty strong magnet to get the key out.

lockdude

I remove most broken keys with a spiral key-extractor. It's about the same diameter as a paper-clip, only hardened, with a spiral(hence the name) slice all the way down it, making it look alot like a long, skinny screw. Keys are made of brass, nickle-plated brass, and nickle-silver. Magnets don't work, either. When you put super-glue in your lock with a toothpick, or anything else, you end up gluing everything to everything, and all it takes is for one tumbler to be stuck to force you to buy a new lock...of course, if you have any enemies.....

Dave Y

DON'T crank the engine over after removing carb with the coil still hooked up, YES, the engine WILL start with fuel spraying from the open fuel line into the open intake, 4000+ rpm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TransAm12sec

lmao, but the carb is too restrictive

I FLY UH-1

You guys are killing me!

My stomach hurts from laughing so damn hard!

Thought I was the only one who had done some stupid ****.

brent4a

Dont be laying under your car putiing a starter on with a thunder storm moving in , with lots of thunder and lightning going on close , and your buddy thinks it would be funny to slam the hood down....hit my head pretty hard and not sure if i didnt stain my underwear..............

Cronic3rd

here's one - Do not try to turn fast in a bronco 2. : ( did that once and spun it into a ditch.

which brings me to my next point - Don't pull the window frame of the busted side window on your Bronco 2 by tieing a rope from it to the back of your dad's ranger... That was interesting

Corry

Recently I learned lots about mig welding. After the case to my computer was nearly destroyed by airport handlers I decided to weld a roll cage to my computer. Lessons learned:
Have the Argon/CO2 mix gas to mig weld, it IS important
Not having the mix results in "poppy" welds
"poppy" welds create slag as they are made which pops off
Loose shoes catch slag well
If slag gets in your shoe and begins to burn your ankle DO NOT GRAB AT IT like instinct would have you do, all it does is burn the slag in deeper!
When grinding out your crappy welds, make sure you use eye protection, yes it IS important, fortunatly I listented to that voice in my head....after about the 50th "dink" noise of something hitting my safety glasses I got used to it and ignored it.
Do not try and fight a wire wheel, you will lose, and have the skin ripped off to prove it.
Soldering on an all steel case does NOT work with just a soldering gun, the entire case will work as a heat sink, use a torch instead
When installing parts, it is a good idea to dust the parts off with the air compressor. However, in the winter, in PA the air is very dry and full of static, which will destroy computer parts. So while holding the part ouside of an anti-static bag, be sure to ground yourself every once in a while. However: Kepp in mind the universal gas laws when doing so, as you compress air, it gets hot, so do NOT grab onto the tube going from the compressor to the tank after having already drained the tank from 100psi several times, and having it at 80psi still refilling. You will burn the fingerprints from your fingers.

Jza

Don't seat beads with ether.

Use propane.

DaGoat

Heh, Jza I use Ether.


Do not, and I repeat Do Not forget a bunch of your dad's tools under the hood of the Bronco and then go out for a test drive. You will however hear "dinner bell" sounds as you are driving away and upon returning to your street you will find a nice trail of tools for a couple of blocks. (And I thought it was coincidence that someone else was working on their vehicle ) You will also definately be thinking of an excuse when your dad can't find his 9/16 wrench or some sockets out of his 1/4 inch socket set. "Umm no dad haven't seen it, maybe *insert brothers name* had it last."

Nixon1

Mine are pretty simple, but I'm just an amateur mechanic...give me a few years for some REAL stories!

1. Don't ignore it when the starter periodically pauses during turn overs because it still starts. Car left me stranded 2 weeks later with no other warnings except those few missed turns now and again...$65 tow home.

2. When under the car....wear goggles. There's ALWAYS more dirt and grime that you don't see, and it ALWAYS will fall into your eyes when you're attempting to mount a heavy object, such as, ohh, I don't know, a STARTER, making you almost drop it on yourself.

3. Don't start talking to other people about how nice the car will run with the new cap and rotor, spark plugs, and plug wires on and then forget which wire you were on at the time. It's just never good when your car is a 6 cylinder but operating on 4....

4. Be careful with Torx bolts.....it's NOT FUN stripping one of those out!

Nixon1

Last one..when taking the car on a test drive...never go more than 5 mins away from home! Murphy's Law applies...

Jza

Don't forget a 5 minute drive is a half-hour walk..

lol at the "starter bolts hitting forehead comment".

84TAProject

Lets see, things to do:

1. Plug EVERY hole in the lifter valley with paper before attempting work. A 2" piece of brass tubing falls right down the drain holes next to the distributor rather easily.

2. When trying to get pistons to TDC to adjust rockers, make sure you know which way is clockwise. I had set the rockers twice on the car because I was turning the motor by hand the wrong way.

3. Label everything and dont attempt to pull a head and do a water pump at the same time. It was way to much work to get back together for a beginning mechanic all at once. The lecture I got for lost bolts was not worth it.

4. The motor always comes apart easier than it is to reassemble it.

5. A good way to avoid helping others with their car is to tell them when they are helping you is, "I love working on other peoples cars, if it breaks, it doesnt matter to me." Of course Im still gonna help him with his cam, he helped me rip a head off my car.

dimented24x7

iTrader: (2)

Man... selectivly forgot about this one for a while... This little gem happened to me over the summer. Was working on the car at night and had to fire it up for a few but the exaust was open, no problem, i thaught. Just close the garage door so i dont wake the neighbors up and ill jsut set up the shop fan to bring in fresh air. Im sure you all can see where this is going......

1.) Make sure veicle is in park with the parking brake firmly set and the drive wheels blocked.
This is one of those ten ****ing automotive commandments and should be carved into the concrete wall of every shop and garage in the world. so much suffering and property damage can be prevented just by doing these three simple steps. I just set the parking brake and put it in neutral. Now the parking brake is fine for holding your car on a hill but to a 350 thats idleing at 1500 rpm in open loop thats just been knocked into reverse by its negligent and moronic owner (me), its just an after thought.

Now that the car has rolled through the door and is proceding down the driveway, I realize my next blunder...

2.) never, EVER wear loose fitting clothing while working on your car... it could cost you an appendage, or worse... YOUR LIFE!

..... that loose fitting shirt im wearing just got snagged on the car and im being dragged along with my nuts just inches from the front wheel thats spinning and loaded under around 800 lbs and its just itching to crush me to death, all the while im screaming like a little girl because im about to be crushed. Which finally brings us to...

3.) DONT PANIC!!!

If I wasnt flipping out and instead was thinking sensibly, I could have brought my camaro's rampage to a premature end just by climing back into my car and putting it back into neutral. But no, i just let it marrily drag me along... When the car finnally encounters a tree, it comes to a stop. Now i get up and realize that not only are all the nearby resedence of my development stainging outside in their nightly atire with their hands over thier ears to block the loud noise eminating form the open headers,which, BTW was what i was hoping to eliminate in the first place by closing the garage door, but theyre all laughing histarically at me. Just think, if i had waited untill morning to do that last bit of work, I could have saved myself the joy of staying up untill the wee hours of the morning restoring the horribly disfigured door back into some resemblense of its former shape.

Nixon1

That's a hell of a story... I've got one not nearly as funny, but I just remembered it, so...

No matter how shallow the incline, how much you think you're in control, and how well the cars handle..NEVER forget that a 3rd gen F-Body IS HEAVY. I was standing with the door open leaning into the car and noticed I was parked too high in the driveway. So me, being fuzzy of thought from lack of sleep, figured I'd put the key forward but not start it, and pop it into neutral to roll it back a foot or so, and just stick my foot in to brake, and pop it back into park. Didn't work that way. I guess I didn't realize that 3200 lbs + incline = quick acceleration downward.. The car tears down the driveway, me chasing it screaming profanities..so I get in front and not thinking to hop in, I instead, like a brute, start ramming myself against the open door in an attempt to slow the car down or stop it...the whole time it's pushing me backwards, towards the woods and ditch behind my house..it probably would've taken the neighbor's mailbox out too...so finally in one last push, the car rolls to a stop with the back tires JUST popped off the side of the street. I get in, start it, drive it up and park it, and walk into the house hoping no one noticed and pretending nothing happened. Talk about dumb...

A functioning e-brake would help in this situation as well.....but of course I don't have one....

shunt561

Man I thought I was the only person in history with problems like these. lol

1)don't just start pulling stuff off of youre engine before you know what it is, because you gonna break it then find out it's kinda important.

trace

i'll add one for "don't work around the starter w/out disconnecting the battery"... not me, but i read this one somewhere. (not that i'm incapable of doing something like this)

guy has his classic car apart for a frame-up resto, and he's in the middle of putting it back together. he has just gotten the motor & driveline back in, and is doing some work underneath when his wrench shorts out the starter. the car starts, and the tranny is in reverse. it backs off the jackstands, runs over his arm, and proceeds down the driveway in reverse. he's not seriously injured, so he jumps up & runs after it. he jumps into the driver seat, but he has not yet connected a few critical components such as the ignition key, shift cable, or brakes. the steering does work, however. he begins steering the car around his block, backwards, in hopes that it will run out of gas. evidently his tank was pretty full. something like 3 hours later he finally gets sick of this exercise and lets his freshly painted rear clip nail a neighbor's tree.

Da91Bird

Don't decide that little sensor that screws into the head, which you snapped while installing headers, is probably not all that important. It might turn out to be a fan switch and you might destroy all your hard work with an overheat.

I actually did this, but I did not damage the car by overheating it. Instead I was showing my handy work to all of my mechanic friends, about 6 of them, when the coolant reservoir started bubbling and the next thing I knew there was a full blown hurricane in the overflow tank. It was quite embarrassing. We ended up hot wiring the fan switch while I ordered a Hypertech switch.

Nixon1

I TOTALLY agree with the 'don't pull it off if you dont know what it is' thing. I was looking at a friend of mine's car because he's very mechanically inept...it was running real rough, like it was about to stall repeatedly...long story short, I broke a connector between a vacuum line..had to take a piece that had broken off, wrap it in tape, and jimmy it to reconnect the two. At least it worked! But I panicked for a second. Ammendment to the rule:"don't pull it off or mess with it if you don't know what it is, OR it's on your friend's car"

copperhead110

1) Don't lay the oil dip stick on top of the battery. My father wasn't happy when he picked it up.

2) Don't decide to see if the muffler is tight after you've driven the car. That hurts.

3) Don't try to fix a plug wire with the engine running. Its a shocker.

4) Don't drill a hole in metal above the battery for a security alarm sensor without putting something like a 2x4 between the metal and the battery. Its amazing how easy it is to accidently drill a hole the battery.

5) Check the emergency brake if you can't get the rear drums off the car.

6) Don't put the wheel's lug nuts on finger tight and think "I'll tighten those later". Furtunately I remembered 1 block from the house. No damage. whew

7) If you hear excessive wind noise, pull over and see if your T-Tops are latched.

8) Don't honk the horn while someone is under the hood. They WILL try to kill you.


BTW: This thread was so funny, I had tears in my eyes.

I'd like to thank everyone for sharing their mistakes.

Kingtal0n

<b>The motor always comes apart easier than it is to reassemble it. </b>

Amen.

Time to pull camshaft out: 1.5 Hours
Time to put camshaft in: 9 Hours

that INCLUDES the time it takes to realize you forgot to procure a Harmopnic balancer puller-offer, and a gasket set to replace the old ones...

ShadowZ28

1. do not attempt to loosen a bolt behind the drum brakes with your face in the wheel well and the socket one size too big....ouch.....bloody

2. do not let your uncle test drive the camaro you just did the engine swap on without checking if the lug nuts are tight (bad)

burnoutrpm

ok i have one that i know someone did.


1. dont put a HEADBOLT in the crank. really!, they might look the same but they arent!!!!

2. if you do put a HEADBOLT in the crank dont use red locktite to try and fix it (the guy learned this the hard way.) balancer is a little tricky to remove then!

3. if your car is making a boling sound and is spewing stem from the radiator.................dont STAND DIRECTLY OVER THE RADIATOR AND TAKE OFF THE CAP!( another frined learened this really does burn!!).



oh yeah i like the one someone posted about the choke cable and remembering to re-install the fuel line. (trust me i didnt post this but, someone i know did)

it was kinda funny though!!

85SportCoupeto89RS

When your replacing your starter and get a load of dirt and grease in your face, dont take your hand off the starter when you thought you had one of the bolts in. The starter wont break before your nose does."that didnt happen to me but to my cousin working on his ford"
When you replace the spark plugs and wires but only put 3 of the wires back on and you get a call from you G/F and talk for an hour. Remeber to resume where you left off and not start up the car only to wonder why the motor can barely run on 3 cylinders.
LOL just saw this on John Q, If your passing an 18 wheeler dont just go the speed limit to pass, you should haul some azz and not get hit by oncoming traffic just to them be hit by the 18 wheeler you just passed.
I cant believe this post has been around for over a year now.

87WS6

iTrader: (1)

*Do not try to reach for stuff in the bottom of your trunk while holding up the hatch (shocks, etc not working) because you will seriously tweak your arm.

I'm guilty of that one.

Heres one. Do not assume those rear hach struts you got at the junk yard will work forever. The hatch falling on you will hurt alot.

85SportCoupeto89RS

That does hurt reall bad. Dont use a limb from a tree to hold the hatch up at a junk yard while you get the taillights and cargo trim out. That limb will break and it wont be pretty. How much does the hatch weigh? I think its close to 200 maybe 250 pounds.

lr60

Wheel chocks are very important! Big rocks are not a substitute especially when working on a u-joint and relying on the fact that the transmission is in PARK.

90Formula-X-F

A couple of years back my neighbor installed a new engine in his Camaro. He just had to start it before it was ready. Remembering he had no fluid in the trans he decide's to fill it while it is on fast idle. Well the linkage wasn't hooked up on the transmission and was in reverse. When he got enough fluid in it this thing launched out of his driveway in reverse. Took off out into the street and started doing backwards dougnuts and hitting parked cars, It went for what seemed like forever ( maybe 2-3 minutes ) before it finally hit a car hard enough for him to make it 1/2 way in the window. He finally got it shut off. messed up a bunch of cars and did a lawn job before it was over... I was lucky enough to witness it too..

TBIfly

and for no reason should you remove your T5 to replace the pressure plate, and accidentally put the old one back on and bolt everthing together and drop the car off the jacks.
ultimate, ultimate buzzkill

ATOMonkey

When painting the car don't forget you put a sheet over the engine to keep the overspray off of it. Then don't start it and drive down the road so you can see just exactly how many times an old sheet will wrap around the water pump before it throws a belt.

Make sure the TC is properly seated all the way onto the input shaft before installing the trans or you get to do it again.

Make sure you remember the assembly order of the torque arm/tailshaft housing bolts or you get to do that again too.

Concrete blocks do not double as jack stands, but they do explode.

Always Alway Always Always check the ignition timing. I don't know how many times I've had a no start or poor run condition because I was too lazy or arogant to check the timing.

The OHC cam bracket does not double as a good place to turn an enine over.

Always make sure the distributor hold down is tight. I've been stranded twice by that one.

I'm going to do some head grinding/porting this winter, so I'll probably have some new ones then.

Denis.V

TO READ THIS THREAD AND FORGET IT.

(Fire in my engine for working with fuel hose disconnected!!!)

Nixon1

Here's a REAL dumb one for ya..yeah, I'm the guilty party.

Don't get a phone call in your brand new V8 with exhaust and many many goodies, and think 'hey, bet they can hear it through the cellphone'...and showing off, hold up the phone with your right hand and launch the car, with the automatic transmission held in first gear, and forget that the same hand that is currently holding your phone is SUPPOSED to be shifting the car...so the car with a 7000 rpm tach, where the redline begins at 5800, is howling at 6500 until you moronically jerk the shifter forward into Drive and limp it home never passing 2500 rpms with your fingers crossed.