It used to be whenever my door closed after the car had been running the alarm would turn on auto after 45 seconds now it doesn't. Also my lights don't turn on within the interior when I open the door (which makes sence for the alarm not working). Finally again related when my keys are in the ignition it doesn't beep to remind me to take them out (same goes for the lights).

I've checked all of the fuses (literally as I've lost my fuse panel cover) and they all seemed fine. I figured from the start that it would be those **** on the inside door frame that sense when the doors open or not... I took them off and cleaned them and it didn't make a difference. I've checked the voltage of the lines going to those sensors and they come out at 8 volts which I thought was weirdly low, but they're both shooting at that level.

The only other thing I can think of doing is replacing the entire wiring front to back for those switches to try and find a break but that is way too much work for what I'm worried about. I just want my alarm to do more than shock sensor my car... the rest I can deal with

 

Put a voltmeter on the door switches and open the doors. You should read zero volts. Close the door and you should read 12V.
If you don't read 0 when open, the problem is in the doorswitch or its connection to the ground. If you don't read 12V when closed, it's most likely the wiring.

You can also pull the white wire off the door switch and touch it to good ground. If your dome light turns on, it's a faulty/dirty switch (or badly grounded).

The dome light uses fuse labeled Courtesy Fuse. This fuse also powers the cigar lighter so check if that one works.

Post your findings and we'll continue from there.

Lou