Perhaps he was talking about the brake system failure light on some cars.

 

while putting my camaro together i was driving a beater s10 five speed with no parking brake so i just left it in gear when i parked. so i parked it in the street and a little later i was in the garage and see it rolling down the street, for a split second i was just really confused by the situation but then i realized it popped out of gear and i went running after it but didnt get to it in time. luckily the steering wheel was turned a slight bit so instead of rolling into my friend's truck it went diagonally across the street, hopped the curb and hit a phone pole guy wire just as i got to it. the wire got pulled out of the ground some and the metal sheath over it got jacked pretty good. oops

 

i stuck my finger in the alternator fan while trying to wipe oil off it...hamburgered the tip pretty good. I was scared to look at it, i figured it was half gone. Luckily it was there.

 

ok im trying to replace the fuel pump and the car is aboyt 2 feet in the air and the tire is off...buddy is holding a big rachet (i think a 1/2'' maybe) and im underneath the car turning he says wait a minute lets go of the rachet and it hits me right in the eye...i got a huge blackeye that sweld shuit needless to say he somehow got a black eye to

oh and please never work under a 14 year old car without eye protection rust in your eyes really doesnt feel good at al

just the other day when i was replacing headers i decided i needed to take the starter out to make room so i go at it forgot to disconnect the battery sparks went everywhere and the rachet got hot fast burned my hand and i got burning pieces of metal all over my face

fuel pump just died and i decided to try the fuel filter first thinking it was really clogged..i pull the fuel pump relay and fuses thinking only the line fuel will come out well i get a bad siphoning action and fuel going everywhere when i take the filter out...well i hurry and stick the new one on and start to tighten as gas is going down my arm and onto the top of my head it starts burning like hell but i figure if i dont get it its just going to happen again once i finally finish i run into the house and jump in the shower...hurt BAD for two days and my arm was a wierd color.

i always bust a couple nuckles and get really frustrated but for some reason i still always get pleasure out of fixing the car myself and learning the hard way...plus most of my friends and neighbors think im a freakin car bad ***

 

Years ago I did a TH350 swap on my '79 Caprice. After the trans was out of the car, I thought it would be a good idea to unbolt the torque converter and turn it upside down to get the old fluid out of it. I then reinstalled everything and filled the trans with the appropriate amount of fluid and added some quarts for the "empty" converter. After starting the engine I heard a grinding/whistling turbo-like noise, coming from the transmission. Instead of immediately stopping the engine and draining some of the fluid I thought I was smart and drove the car a couple of miles to see if the noise would go away, but it didn't. After returning home, I realized that the trans was leaking fluid at the new front seal.
On that day I learned, that just by turning your converter upside down you won't remove enough trans fluid from it to make it completely empty, requiring a fill up for an empty transmission.
But it's not finished, yet. On that day, I was too lazy to jack up the car again and let some of the trans fluid out. So I decided it was a good idea to just unbolt one of the cooler lines, put a tub under it and started the engine.
I ended up with a leaking transmission and a big puddle of tranny fluid on the pavement.

 

One I can think of...

We were changing my car to 5spd, recamming, doing valve guide seals, rear main seal, & timing chain on the L69.

Friend has a distributor w/ a socket welded to it to prime Chevy motors. Needless to say, the 1/2 impact pre-lubed the motor well but the oil pump shaft broke off one of the 2 side which go into the distributor. Had to pull pan, scround a shaft, and then prime it again (all in 15 minutes )

 

Very funny post. The REAL pity is that they manufacture products to suit the idiots of the world.

 

Back when I had my 86 Taurus, my dad wanted to borrow it to drive for the day. I told him "Sure, but please be sure the radiator is full before you go anywhere."
So I come back several hours later and the car is still sitting where it was when I left.
I asked him, "Did you go anywhere?"
He replied, "I think I put the water in the wrong place."
Turned out he put water in where the oil was supposed to go.

Can we say, "Messed up"?
I laugh and laugh about it to this day!
Needless to say, that car was sold later on for some ridiculous low price.
It never ran right again.

 

I got too many as well. But here is a few.

First time my camaro ever zapped me. I was messing with the timing trying to get it to run and I thought I turned the key back and went to turn the HEI dist with the dust cap off and well I got knocked on my a$$.

Another time I was working on my Bronco installing a box and amp. I hooked the power wire up to the remote starter solenoid and the wrecn I was using hit the fender and threw a huge spark and the motor rotated over and I was scared as hell.

And the latest funny thing was I was over my friends house and he had just bought a 350 that had seized and we were taking it apart and checking it over. well we had it standing on its back and we had just taken the crank out and it was getting pretty dark. We were trying to look more towards the cam and were to lazy to get a light. So my friend asks my other friend for a lighter and me and him are shining it closer and closer while I say hey isn't brake parts cleaner flamable?
He says no its not flamable. Well all of a sudden it explodes in flames. knocks me and my friend on our *** like 5 feet back and my other friend took off running. well it was like 8 or 9 feet in the air when my friend ran and got the hose to put it out.

 

When I was working at Autozone, one of the things that we had to do was install batterys for the customers. One night, I was out installing a battery. I had hooked it up and was re-installing the holddown. it was one of those with two posts on each side of the battery and a bar that bolts to the posts across the top of the battery. Anyways, it was REALLY cold out (November in Tennessee), and I was working two jobs, so I was really tired. I was using one of the wrenches from the toolkit that they keep under the desk. Big-*** open-end wrench. Not paying attention, what with being tired and all, as I rotated the nut to tighten down the hold-down, the wrench came to rest alongside BOTH terminals!!! No sparks, but I did notice that the wrench got strangly warm all of a sudden... Pulled it off with a quickness, and the car started just fine, fortunatly....

 

lucky me, this happened only a month or so ago...

I was going to change the oil and so some other maintenance on my RS so I brought out the ramps my dad made out of 2"x4"s as a kid. Well the top of the ramps don't have any stops like most ramps you buy today do, so you always have to be careful driving up em. Up until the day I had no problem w/ getting the car up the ramps, but for some reason the gods must have been mad at me.... Started the car up, which happened to be cold (idles considerably faster), and as I was making my way up the ramps I must have been sleeping or something and hit the brake a little too late. Needless to say I was certainly awake as i felt the left tire go over the edge of the ramp, causing the car to fall on top of it!!! Somehow the right tire stayed on the ramp, but when i put the car in park to get out, the car shifted forward a couple inches and there went the right side falling a few inches onto the other ramp w/ a loud bang. So right now I'm freaking out, I jump out of the car, run downstairs, grab the 3-ton floor jack that was stored for the winter, sprint back outside and get the car supported on stands in a matter of minutes.

Luckily for me when the car landed it perfectly hit the jack spots w/ the only damage being a cracked left ground effect...thankfully nothing went through the floor. Now the funny thing is, after i calmed down a bit i noticed that the impact from the car falling was so much that it caused all the rust from the underbody to fall off covering a large area of the driveway beneath it . Later that day i vowed never to let that happen again and nailed a few pieces of wood to act as stops so the car doesnt go rolling off the edge again.

 

i wouldnt feel too safe under a car being held up by wood. i'd invest $30 and get some steel ramps. they even come with stops lol

 

ok, heres two stories definatly worth reading.

Back in my college days i worked as a "lab techician" in the auto lab. basically i was just a little grease monkey lackey who never had anything to do.

So one day a guy pulls into the lab with a lovely yellow 78 corvette. He gets out and tells me he's having trouble with a hard pedel for the brakes. So i've had experiences with these vettes before and i know they're brakes are kind of goofy. I start checking the vacuum booster and everthing seems fine with it.

So i just start asking the guy if he's done anything with the brakes recently. his reply was quote "no, i've just been doing maintanence stuff with them, added a little fluid, greased them, check the pads, that sort of thing". I felt a little odd about the greasing brakes statement....but for whatever reason i figured he was a smart guy because he drove a nice vette, so i assumed he meant he greased his caliper mounting bolts.

So i opend up his master cylinder and noticed the fluid was BLACK. which really isnt that uncommon so i just suggested to him that we change the fluid. I took his wheel off and right away i look at the bleeder screws and notice they're covered with grease....oh ****, it hits me.

"you uh....put grease into these?"
"what those zerk fittings"
"well they're called bleeder screws, but yeah those"
"yeah, i grease them every now and then"
"well....do you open the screw and then grease them?"
he gives me this very indignant look and says "well of course, i'm not a damn moron."

I was kind of in an akward position now cause i have to explain to this guy whats what. So i just took a deep breath and said "well....these are grease fittings....they're here to bleed excess air out of the lines.....i think the last thing on earth you would want in there is grease"
he just gave me and cold stare and said "how long you been going here kid?"
"about three years, i'm almost done"
"well i think you should get your money back"
i just said "ok" to him. and walked right out of the lab searching for my buddies to tell them.

story 2

This story is affectionatly known as "The day rusty found out what immolation means"

Well i have this 1990 buick riviera as my daily driver that i still drive today, its held up quite well considering circumstance.

I do love the P.O.S but one thing that always drove me crazy was the electric trunk, its just a stupid idea to begin with. But the damn thing had a habit of breaking every year. I'd clean the grounds and mess around with it and such and it would work again, but it always just seemed to break down on me.

So i decided i'd just try to rip that electric crap out and make it into a regular trunk.I stood out in the driveway and actually did a nice job of it too, i had it set up all nice, used several very clever techniques i thought. So i had it all ready to test; i slammed the trunk down to see if it will catch....Blam! then the trunk just bounces back up.

I try it again, Blam! the trunk bounces up again. Well as others may be able to relate too the only way to see why it wasnt closing was to get into the trunk and see what the latch is doing. now it didnt close before so it sure as hell isnt going to close with me in it right?? wrong...

I get in there and pay close attention to the trunk latch, pull it ever so gently down....*click*. oh no...."you *****!!!" i shouted.

Here i was stuck in the trunk at 10 in the morning. Nobody would be home until at least 2 in the afternoon. Well its all cool i guess, i'm a laid back guy. Guess i'll just lay back and try to get a little sleep, its a buick trunk so its nice and padded and comfy.

So i got some sleep and soon enough i hear my brothers camaro pulling in the driveway. I hear his door slam as he gets out so i start shouting "randy!!! HEY!!! HELP!! DAMNNIT!!". I was screaming and shouting and kicking the walls of the trunk and making as much noise as i thought was humanly possible. Then i hear the front door open....and close. He's gone inside, didnt even hear me.

Oh lord....well mom is coming home around 5 so i guess i'll just wait for her then.

I hear moms poorly tuned van pull in and i start making all the damn noise in the world again....and she just walks inside and closes the door.

Well....my brother ryan should be home around 5 in the morning....i didnt really want to wait for that.

So i started my mcgiver phase. I took an inventory of the entire trunk, a gallon of trans fluid, a window scraper, a cigarette lighter, a cassette player, and as luck would have it i found a 3/4 craftsman wrench....except it was in the middle of winter so the wrench was frozen to the floor of trunk. I poured some trans fluid on it hoping maybe that would melt the ice....it just made the ice much more slippery.

Finally i got it loose by constantly kicking it. Then as i held it in my hand i realized.....the bolts to the trunk latch are 10 mm arent they? yep, sure enough they were. i searched every square inch of that damn trunk looking for anything to fit the wrench on...didnt find anything.

I then started to to to kick the trunk open, that didnt work. Tried to look for that supposed saftey latch that you can push to open the trunk if you ever got stuck in it...but guess what? That little switch was a part of the motor that powered the trunk, which i conviently removed.

So time passed....my sanity began to wane, and i hadnt eaten all day. It must of been around 5 am when my brother came home. Same story as always, i put even more energy into screaming and yelling like a maniac....but my older brother just went inside.

All three of them came out for work in the morning...completly oblivious to my desperate screaming and ranting.

At this point i began kicking and stabbing at the back seat with my wrench trying to break through into the car. That damn seat was insanely well built....didnt put a scratch in it.

So i was stuck in a car for at least 28 hours when my brother came home around two the next day and i hadnt eaten at all. So its safe to say i was clinically insane. My master plan to get someone to notice me?

As soon as randy pulled into the driveway, i set the insulation of the trunk on fire. I caught suprisingly fast, VERY suprisingly. WIthin about thirty seconds then entire front portion of the trunks interior was ablaze. The whole time i was screaming with all my strength and shaking the trunk.

My brother took his sweet time noticing...he actually went inside and didnt notice the commotion until about 5 minutes after the car was set on fire. by the time he noticed i was stuck in the middle of a roaring fire, i myself wasnt in danger of being set on fire, as i moved all the insulation away from me...but my oxygen supply was being rapidly eaten by the fire.

My brother finally noticed as he by chance just looked out the window. He said he literally thought a gate to hell had been opened in my car, it was shaking and smoking and flame licked the interior.

He said he became conviced some sort of demon was in the car as he went outside and heard the insane screeching coming from the trunk. Luckily the garden hose was just in reach of my car and was already on, so he just ran and opened the door and sprayed it down.

he finally heard my crying for him to let me out and he replied i swear to *** "oh no, i seen the twilight zone, i let you out of there you're going to take the world over or something."

I think this has gone on too long anyway, but basically i convinced him i wasnt a demon and he let me out. i had to go to the hospital for smoke inhalation and malnutrition. But i still drive the car today as it is, its the butt of alot of jokes....

 

LOL!!.....................Check the brakes with the drums off!!!! .......LOL.............................LOL...................................LOL..................(w/tears)...........................

 

omg RJR99SS are u ****tin me that is completly insane. your were in there for 28 hours? i would have probably had that wrench threw the truck in about 2 hours. man u are a patiant guy. wut did every1 have to say when they heard u were in there for 28 hours??

 

i got one that i still sit around and ask myself "what the hell did you expect to happen?"

i was visiting my friend in new jersey(didnt live here yet) and the passenger front tire on my 91 buick century blew out. ok no problem i have a full size spare

i decided to park the car on the ramp(about 20 degree incline) going up to the back of his work. i begin to jack the car when he calls to me so i walk away to talk to him. the car is up in the air and the front wheel is off...


normally this would be no problem but it was january in nj and the ramp was covered in ice!!!

as soon as i walked over to him it hit me and i turned around just in time to see the car begin to slide forward and drop onto the front passanger rotor.....then begin to slide down the ramp.... it slid about thirty feet b4 the rotor hit asphalt and dug in .... grinding the bottom smooth and flat.......


i put the wheel back on and looked around........why in the hell did i think that i could jack a car up with a stock scissor jack in the middle of january with ice on the groudn on a hill.........


just one of those stupid things you do and laugh about later i guess



one more stupid thing.....when a lug nut cinches down.....its tight......(100 ft lbs give or take) when you can bench 390 pounds......"hand tight" does not apply to you....ive broken more bolts and lugs than anyone i know b4 i learned that simple fact.....lol

its good to see that we all go through the same **** .... the only way to learn sometimes is to **** it up bad enough to make you remember it



and how many of us have gone to pull away after doing something to our cars and not taken the chock out from behind the tire......and sat there for a second wondering why the car is haveing such a hard time moving..........lol

little hint about lug nutz.......hand tighten them in the air but be sure to check after lowering car.......man i forget that **** all the time

ok this is long enough for now if i think of more ill get back to you guys......great topic btw

 

I'v done that way to many times!!

 

hahaha doh!! how about opening up your hood to find tools left in there from the last job you did.........lol......theres that wrench....lol

 

The greasing the brakes story reminded me of something incredibly stupid i did. When I was around 11 or so, i had a POS honda sl100 motorcycle. I thought it was the coolest thing at the time, and loved to work on it. The brakes were squeeking a little, so I thought "what works good on squeeks???Grease, thats what" so stupid me greases the rear brakes and puts the wheel back on and out I go proudly for a test ride. Im flying along this dirt road, and have to slow to go accross a hiway, then go down a major hill. Turns out, grease makes brake shoes swell when they get hot. my rear brake locks up, I hit the highway sliding the rear tire about 45 mph, and the damn bolt holding the bar to keep the brake section from rotating breaks. Now I got nothing to stop. I hit the curb on the other side still going about 45, fly halfway down the hill on the other side and finally end up in a big pile with my bike now riding me .

Or there was the time Im checking the float levle on the Holley carb on my 82 camaro. I got the sight plugs out, and fuel is just barely dripping out, and graceful me accidently pulls the pcv hose off the carb. The motor leans wayyyy out, backfires catches the fuel on the manifold on fire. I run like hell to get the garden hose, spray water on the fire, and start to wipe the sweat off my head when "whoosh" fire runs out of the float bowl onto the manifold again. Flood more water, same resutl. Now Im scared as hell, as Im worried this thing is gonna burn up, burn down my garage, and burn my racecar in progress with it. I guess when id spray water in, it would displace the fuel in the bowls, and push it out, burning. Ever the quick thinker, I pushed the damn car out into the alley, so the neighbors could all get a good view of my talents too. After 5 or 6 floodings with water, the fire finally went out, but I did have a little rewireing to do.

 

ROFL ROFL ROFL.. RJ99SS.. thats the funniest crap i've ever read.. your second truck story is sooo great.. if I was your family I doubt i'd ever let you live that down and would probably be on the ground laughing most of the day after you got out... sorry that sounds mean but its toooooooo funny... and yea i would of been screwed too if that happened to me.. but then again I probably would of tried that idea w/o a backup plan in case things should go wrong....

 

 

my mom felt REALLY bad about it, she bought me a ton of stuff for my birthday that year....

My little brother thought it was of the funnier things that ever happend to me (trust me....there's funnier stuff than that).

What drove me crazy was everyone kept telling me that they didnt hear a thing. my little brother said he heard some shouting...but he thought it was the neighbors or something. But when i was in the trunk i could here EVERYTHING they were doing. I mean i could hear their footsteps going up the stairs to the house...i remember hearing my brother humming to himself.

It was kind of a pain as it was happening, but i think its a pretty damn good story now. 28 hours seems to just fly when you're in the trunk of a car i guess...

 

In high school I had a 70 SS Chevelle 4 speed. The cam was mechanical roller. One day on my way home from school, bought one of those cheap bump start kits (remote start buttons) from AutoZone and decided I was going to adjust the valves. Always bragged to dad about how easy it would start. Parents were gone, me alone in big garage. Forgot car was still in gear. Hit the bump start and the f*cking car starts, on like half a rotation of the motor, car lurches forward and I'm pushed across the garage floor trying to stop it by pushing on the radiator core support. Chevelle + Me = Me get hurt! At this point it hasn't occurred to me that I'm rapidly losing garage floor distance to the wall. The car pins me between it and the wall at the knee caps, then car quits. Now, I'm stuck, with this F#cking wildebeast in gear and I'm trying to push it backward off of me. I swear, say a lot of colorful descriptive metaphors, and I'm shaking like a Doberman sh!tting razors after eating Taco Bell. In a rush of adreline that I've never duplicated since, somehow I pushed the car off of me enough to escape its rath. Just had to explain to dad why there was an outline of me indented into the dry wall of the garage. Man that smarted.

I've got to many more to tell. Really enjoyed reading everyone's post.

 

I had an old '54 Chevy that needed an engine rebuild. I'd never done it before but my good friend Robby had, so he volunteered to teach me how to rebuild an engine. Him and one of his buddies help me get the engine out of the car. While his buddy and I are unbolting parts off the engine, Robby decides to change the oil in his car. We're in his garage, Robby's car on one side and my engine in the middle of the other side. Robby pours in the correct amount of new oil and checks the dipstick - no oil showing on it. So, he puts in another quart of oil. Robby's buddy and I are too busy with my engine to notice, but Robby starts telling us how the manual is wrong, and his car is taking more oil that the manual says. Robby proceeds to pour in ANOTHER quart of oil as we watch this oil slick heading out from under his car to where we are working on my engine. My engine building "expert" and teacher forgot to put the plug back on the pan... all that new oil went right onto the floor.
Rob

 

I remember one time when I worked in a garage, there was this trainee mechanic working there. He'd brag about stuff like how he used to fix cars when he was teething, but his story soon came unstuck with the simplest of jobs
"Can you put an oil filter on that one, and fill up with Castrol?" Says the boss
"sure" and off he goes. No problem.

Once he's done he gets in and starts her up for the test drive. Almost immediately there is oil pi$$ing from under the car. The usual bout of "SHUT IT OFF" follows, and he pops the hood.

What a mess!

Turns out he filled the car with Castrol alright, right to the top, til it's visible through the filler hole!

Nedless to say he learned a few new words that day.

Another time the same guy changed the front brake pads on a customer's car. It's picked up and payed for, but comes back within 20 minutes. The customer says to him that the brakes don't seem to work too good. "That's normal for new pads, just let them bed in for a few miles".
"But it pulles to one side as well"
So reluctantly he pulls the car in and lifts it on the hydraulic lift. Lo and behold, he'd left his brake line clamp on one of the brake hoses.

You know, I don't think he works there anymore.

 

this story wasnt about me but i saw the whole thing..

about 6 months ago, i was working at a dealership as a front man(finds out what is wrong with a customers car, then relays the message via paperwork to the tech)..anyways...a guy comes in saying he needs a new battery..ok many people say this every day..i point him towards the parts counter...so he goes there buys the battery and is on his way..about 5 mins later he comes back in and goes to the parts counter..i hear him complaining that they gave him a battery that wasnt charged..they were all apologetic and give the guy a new one..a smile on his face he leaves..then about 5 mins later he comes back in almost stomping and says you guys really have to charge these batteries better this one isnt charged either..hmm..the parts guy is getting kinda mad but gives him another one..the guy leaves mad but with a smile on his face..its finally over...UNTIL he comes back in like 2 mins later saying that the battery they just gave him isnt charged..the parts guy takes the battery and does a check on it..it turns out its full..so they go for a walk outside (me being bored and nosey decide to follow) we get to his car tell him to install it..low and behold the reason he wasnt getting anything from the battery is because he left the plastic on the terminals of the battery and was trying to connect them over the plastic ..some people should leave car work to the professionals!!

iroc2nv

 

heres a good one... When i got my semi-new 98 honda accord (my moms car now) i also descided to get a haynes manual for it at pep boys. I didnt know as much about cars then as i do now. After i think 4000 miles, the service light came on and i didnt know what it was. Unkown to me the light come on every 8000 miles to remind the owner of a needed oil change, i just didnt know to reset it after i gave it a change. In the crappy haynes manual, it says that with obd-2 systems, two pins can be shorted and the ses light will display codes. So, i did that. Well... It sparked and blew a fuse and i couldnt get it started, and the car was stuck in the middle of the driveway. Man, that thing has three fuse boxes each with around 40 mmini fuses each. I must of looked forever for that blown fuse and never could find it. Turns out the dealer said that one of the fuse in the dash blew. Cost 60 dollars to get that fixed.

 

How about beer and friends that really want to help. Rebuilt my brother in laws engine for him and came time to install, well a few friends came over that I thought new about cars. They offered to bolt the tanny to block so we could slip it in as a unit. No problem. installation went without any headches at all. While I was bolting motor mounts up. After a few more beers, friends have gone home by now. My wife comes out to check progress and said... "whats that thing?". I calmly told her it was the f@#king flexplate.

Now comes time to do my Pontiac. no need to mark the rods and the caps. Just set them in order on the picnic table. While doing another part of the job my wife figures its a nice day outside and her and the kids would eat dinner outside, yep... all the rods and caps are thrown into a box beside the table. did manage to sit in the sun and line up the machining marks to find each ones mate.

And a good one about using a cheap chain hoist. had an engine about 5 feet in the air to install into car. You know the trick. hoist to chain wrapped around tree limb, roll car under it. well... hoist is jambed. Wont go up or down. roll car back out and decide the only thing to do is to is to switch to another hoist while engine is swinging in the air. Scary when it comes crashing down.

 

A good one my friend did. Replacing cam (and this guy is good with engines). Sort of missplaced the cam bolt. He finds another that will work but is a little longer so he just puts large washer behind it. Fire up fine... then all hell brakes loose. As we take the valley pan off my wife drives up to give me a ride home. Agian asks whats this. reaches in engine and pulls out a piece of a lifter journal. Seems the bolt that was too long pressed into timing cover and proceeded to unscew itself driving the cam backwards.
Tony quietly shut the hood and called it a night.

 

Lets see. OH ya. My first car was a 76 AMC Gremlin with the 258 I6 (4.2l for you metric weirdo's). Anyway if that wasn't funny enough, i would do burnouts with it almost non stop. One day while running amuck during lunch at school (they let us leave campus, infact incouraged it with the food) and decided to do a burn out in traffic (don't do it, not the brightest idea i have had). I also decided to go for my longest burnout. The car was a one wheel wonder and would smoke the $40 wal-mart special tire for all it was worth and then some. I held for what seemed like 30-50seconds maybe a minute (long stop light). Well i also had a hole in the rear fender on the inside so not only could no one around me see each other (three lanes wide) but i couldn't see my hand infront of my face. Turned on the interior fan and saw the tail lights infront of me move so i slowly left. Turns out there was actually a cop there but i guess he didn't believe in gremlins or somthing because he didn't even look at me. Then again i also ripped up the little chrystler 904 auto in it from all those burnouts, but hey for $900 thats a heck of a first car.

 

Ok, I know mostly everybody here has bad lifts on the hood and the hatch......therefore having to use props

I hae done this several times.......try to close the hood or hatch with the prop still holding it up......

 

iv never done that, but i do have a stick to hold the rear hatch open, and i'v knocked it over quite a few times and had the hatch come slamming down on my head..

 

I have a couple stories from when I used to work as a (cough) porter at a GM dealership...

Lady comes in with an under warranty Malibu, first words out of her mouth are "I'm not stupid, I've had this car into you guys 3 times already for the same problem and I'm getting sick of it!" Her problem? A/C not working. So the service advisor goes over there, looks inside at the dash. The solution? the A/C wasn't turned on.

When I first started working there, I was unfamiliar with the parking brake setup on large trucks - which we got in on a regular basis. Long story short, I stalled a truck (that had a new clutch put in) 6 times before I figured it out .

About what one of the first posters said about those little disposable cameras - amen to that. Those things are no joke. I did the exact same thing with the innards of one of those probably 3 times before I gave it to someone to keep away from me.

When I was doing the motor in my car, it was in the winter in an unheated garage (first mistake). I had two space heaters running - one by the door, another right by the front of the car where I was working. My friend and I just get done disconnecting a bunch of stuff from the motor, including fuel lines. We then decide to take a break and head to McDonalds for lunch. We're gone a good hour and a half - we take our time eating. Upon our return, we're expecting a nice warm garage, so we can maybe get more done. And the garage is warm - but the gasoline fumes in it are overwhelming, and the space heater going full blast by the car is about a foot away from a growing puddle of gasoline from the disconnected fuel lines I shudder to think what could have happened if we'd gone to Autozone or something like we were going to.

Other things I've learned over my few years of working on my car...

- An old 5th grade math textbook will NOT double as a transmission jack.
- When swapping an engine having never done it before - you WILL NOT "remember where everything goes."
- Changing oil yourself right after driving car 100+ miles in the summer = bad idea.
- With regard to folding engine cranes - ALWAYS make sure pins are in the legs so it won't collapse on you (fortunately it was empty at the time)
- Small tools, wrenches, nuts, bolts, etc. that fall into undisclosed locations in the engine compartment will NOT always "work themselves out harmlessly."
- A floor jack will NOT keep the car in the air for any length of time.

 

Now that this post is back from the dead, I have another one. This involves a wonderful piece of classic iron, a 1968 International Harvester Loadstar 1600. This pile of tin has sent me to the emergency room twice, once with a cracked vertebrae. That's another story.

A number of things need to be known about this truck. It's major feature is a National Series 300 hydraulic crane, which lifts about 3 tons on a 40 ft. boom. The truck is powered by a 472 cubic inch IH big block, breathing through a 300 cfm 2-bbl. This means that you have to rev the engine up to generate enough vacuum for the brake boosters to work (de-clutch, brake, and gas at the same time) This 25,000 lb workhorse also features non-power assisted steering.

One fine morning, my partner and I were sent out to move some heavy gear in another research team's storage yard. It's a good excuse to waste half a day out of sight of the boss. While we were working, one of the groundskeeping crew managed to set his mower on fire while he was refuling it nearby. I was at the controls of the crane, so I hit the kill switch, grabbed the fire extinguisher from the cab and put out the burning lawnmower.

Back at the crane, I crank the motor until it fires, release the key, and it promptly dies. Crank it again, same result. This is a problem, because if i can't start the truck, I can't move it. It's not that I couldn't find somthing to big enough to tow it back (which I can't) but because the crane was in operation, the outriggers were deployed, and all four wheels are off the ground. We experiment around untill we discover that if you hold the key in the 'start' postion, the engine will continue to run as long as you don't let go of the key. You can here the starter pinion whanging off of the flywheel, but it seems to work.

We crank up the outriggers, and make our way back to the shop, holding the key with my left hand (its's on the dashboard, by the door) and wrestling the wheel one handed. The gate to the shop is near the bottom of a short, steep hill, and there's a deep drainiage ditch, so you can't cut the corner. I'm doing the clutch-brake-gas thing to keep the brakes working, but I have to let go of the key to make the turn in to the gate. I let go of the key, loose the brakes and try to keep the truck on the road. My partner is pulliing on the parking brake lever for all he's worth, bur wer'e still going too fast. We make it through the gate, but we can't hold the turn, and we plowed in to a couple of wrecked cars from the crash test lab. This was the first time I realised that the rig didn't have seatbelts.

We got bruised, and managed to get the truck in to the garage, where proceeded to check every fuel and electical fitting, connection and component on the chassis. Nothing worked. The next day, we were still trying to get the thing started when we realised that the truck had died at the same time as the burning lawnmower. I climbed up to the control deck, where I discovered the kill switch set to 'OFF'
I flipped the switch, turned the key, and the big SOB fired on the first crank. Turns out the kill switch grounds the coil, so that's why it wouldn't fire even when every circuit checked out okay. Now I had to explain to the boss, what went wrong with the truck, and why those cars were pushed halfway across the yard.

 

^^^

Holy crap!

 

Well my sides hurt right now from laughing so hard so be patient as this is going to take a few....

I had my plenum & runners off for porting a few years ago and had some leftover gasket material sitting on the intake manifold on the passenger side, I tried to scrape it off with a flathead screwdriver but the stuff was hard as a rock. So in my infinite wisdom I decide to soften it up with nothing other than good ol' carb cleaner, and a metal ruler. Well what is the FIRST thing any decent manual will tell you when removing stuff like intake components, etc...??? REMOVE NEG TERMINAL FROM THE BATTERY!!! That's right, the metal ruler touches the terminal on the back of the alternator, sparks, and I hear this vicious sucking sound for about 1/2 a second before the whole top of the engine is in flames... no extinguisher or blanket handy, I decide the next best thing is to try and blow out the flames on my new metal birthday cake.... my wife sticks her head into the garage and sees me puffing away trying to blow this wildfire out.... she's busting a gut laughing... you get the picture... needless to say I was unsuccessful, I was lucky the intake was otherwise pretty clean because as soon as the carb cleaner burned off, it went out.

Oh, and it was another 5 weeks until I had eyebrows and eyelashes again.....

 

Back when I was in my high school auto shop class, we had a guy in there who's daddy just bought him a really nice old mustang. The guy knew nothing about cars/engines but wanted to replace his spark plugs. He asked us how many does he need to buy. We tell him if he has an 8 cyl eng, he'll need 8 plugs. If it's a 6 cyl, he'll need 6 plugs. Simple enough right?
Well, the guys now confused abt what kind of eng he has, so we tell him, just count the plug wires and buy that many plugs.
The guy comes to school the next day with 9 spark plugs!!
He never did live that one down!

I had an old dirt bike when I was a kid. Bought it out of a junk pile behind the local motorcycle dealership. Apparently the guy that owned it previously did some modifications. The carb was way too big and it would flood easily when trying to start it.
I had a bright idea that I could remove the spark plug, push it up and down the street while in gear and blow most of the fuel out of the cyl. Unfortunately, the spark plug wire was resting right close to the cyl head near the spark plug hole. I give the bike a good push down the driveway and pop it into gear. Instantly the fuel exiting the cyl meets the spark from the plug wire hanging down. I come to stop in the middle of the street, hop off and evaluate the situation.
Humm, I have a medium size fire directly underneath my fuel tank. This isn't good....
The only thing I can think of is to push the bike closer to the house so the garden hose will reach it. As I start to push the bike, of course the eng still being in gear, more fuel is pumped into the fire. The fire flares up like a big blow-torch after pushing the bike abt 1 foot. I stop pushing, fire dies down a little. I think to myself, pull in the clutch dummy. I grab the clutch and start pushing towards the house again, but there's not enough resistance from the eng to make the clutch slip. Now the fire is wraping all the way around the gas tank and things are getting hot.. I try shifting into neutral, but unfournately after the last time I had the tranny apart, neutral was really
hard to find. Finally, some guy that was working on his car down the street had been watching the whole thing and ran up with a fire extinguisher and put it out. After the fire was out, we both cracked-up so bad we had to sit down.


Later in life, I installed a really loud stereo in my Z and I'm cruizing up and down the El Camino (in cali) jamming.
Pull up to a light with the tunes cranked waaay up.
Look over at the driver to my right, he's giving me a really wierd look. Oh well, he must not like metal I'm thinking.
As the song ends I turn it down, just to realize my alarm is going off.

I didn't think that light would ever turn green!

 

I don't have a story of my own, but I know a guy who has been an auto tech for the past 20 years and he has a lot of pretty strange tales. The best one happened back in the mid-80s, it's not a moment of stupidity par say, but it's interesting none the less. An attractive(or so he says) woman in her mid-20s brought her Sunfire into the shop because it had serious issues. It turned out that the computer was thrashed and needed replacement, in order to remove the computer, he had to take the glove box out, in order to take the glove box out, he had to open it. Well, once he did he made a pretty unexpected discovery. Item #1 was a sex toy catalog with various items and part numbers circled and seemingly marked for purchase. Item #2 was a 14" monstrosity called "The Black Mamba". She came back in to pick up her car and wanted to speak to the tech that fixed it. She asked him what he had to do to fix it and when he calmly mentioned that fixing the computer necessitated the removal of the glovebox she turned white as a ghost and bolted.

 

I had Nos on my vett .......I was sitting at a light, turnned on the bottle and noticed that it was running really bad as soon as i turned on the bottle? My vette started shaking at the light really bad so i turned off the bottle and it ran fine. I drove it down teh road adn tried once again to turn on the bottle and it ran OK. SOOOOOO I jumped on it with the laughing gas and BOOOOOOOM, the Nitrous cylinoid was going bad and stayed open causing a lean condition. Warped a head and destroyed a ignition module, Thank G i had forged pistons! And a few months later, i put on a vortech and sold the nos!

 

Yesterday , I was working on my car . I left a wrench (brand new craftsman ) Sitting on my windshield wiper ( on the top part of the wiper , sitting on the glass . Well I forgot it there , and about 2 miles from my house yesterday , it started raining , so when I turned my wipers on I heard a loud noise like something hitting my roof . Well , my wiper threw the wrench on my roof , it skidded all the way across my roof leaving minor scratches and the put a small scratch on my back drivers side quarter panel . I was pissed !!! I went back and tried to find it but couldn't . I even looked again just then !

 

I just came across this post and I have more than a few to tell after 7 years in a salvage yard as a dismantler. The first one was the day I purchased my new Snap-on air rachet. They should have a warning on them that says "hang on tight or this sum-bitch will hurt you.....BAD". I set out to use it on a Mazda pickup uz i just HAD to use it NOW. I got it on the nut and thought to mayself,as I squeezed the button, man there sure isn't much room in here. When that bad boy took off it pinned my hand up against the oil filter. The problem was, I couldn't get my finger off of the trigger and I couldn't pull it back to release my hand. I had to wait untill one of the other guys came through the shop and unhooked my air hose. When I finally got my hand out, I noticed a perfect indent of my fingers in the oil filter.

The other one that just pissed me off to this day was on my last day at that job. I had a water-cooled VW Vanagon on my lift just trying to get it all torn apart before I left. Now since the radiator is up front and the engine is in the rear (about 15 or so feet away) they have these 2 tubes that carry the coolant to the motor. They weeve them through this & that so you have to pul, twist, pull, twist back, pull, etc. Well I had already dropped the FULL FULL FULL fuel tank from the vehicle and spilled about 2 or 3 or hell maybe 5 gallons of fuel on my bay floor, and now I was adding about 2 gallons of coolant to the mix. Needless to say it was a vile smelling mixture and a bit slippery too (since gas & antifreeze don't redily mix). Well I got the tubes out and went to get some qwik-dry to soak this crap up, and I on my way back in I stepped into the swamp that is my bay, and all I saw was my feet, the celing, and a cloud of qwik-dry. I landed FLAT on my back in the pond and to make it worse, everybody was in the shop right then. Thankfully it was my last day.:sillylol:

 

Oh yeah, one more I was just reminded of. We had this late model Integra com into the junk yard I worked at. It was rolled pretty hard and had layed upside down for a while. I check the oil to be sure I don't ruin a $2000 engine (wouldn't be the first time) and it's down a quart, so I add a quart of Valvoline and try to start it (so I can take her for a drive, but thats a whole other Oprah) and it just won't turn over at all. Connect a jumper box, and still nothing. Change the starter, nothing. I know it runs, it's a roll over with like 10,000 miles on it for christ's sake. Pull out the plugs and give it a crank. Have you ever seen engine oil break the sound barrier? I coated my tool box, another tool box the (white) walls, the lift, the (white) celing, and one of the side doors that lead to the office with oil. There was oil EVERYWHERE. My boss just shook his head and told me to get to cleaning. It seems that when the car sat up-side down, that quart of oil that was missing ran into the cylinders and with close to 200 PSI of compression it just screams out of the plug holes. That is one thing that you only do once, the clean up lasted for the whole day. Note to self: next rolled car that won't turn over--push it outside!

 

I bought my 1987 Trans Am formula after the front end had been wrecked. I got the car really cheap, but it needed a new fender, bumper cover and hood. I spent a ton of money on a new OEM Delco hood, fender, bumper cover, and those little plastic louvres on the hood that cost about 30 bucks each. The car looked great even with a primered front end and I was dying to drive it, so I took it for a quick spin on the highway. I was cruising at about 75 when I saw the hood start to flap a little like it wasn't shut - and then it hit me - I didn't put a hood latch on the new hood, I just had it wired together! Duh. Before I could hit the brakes, the hood flew back and all I saw was red paint. I creeped to the side of the highway and got out. The hood was wrapped around the windshield and bent down over the t tops - thank *** it didn't break the t tops! i couldn't get the hood back down by pulling on it. I had a curious crowd gathering to watch the spectacle by now. I had to get up on the roof of the car and bend the hood up off the t tops, then I had to lay down on my belly and push the hood forward. Once I got it standing up, I grabbed onto the front of the hood and fell forward - that got it back down where it should've been. I picked up my louvres, threw them in the back and limped home. Expensive mistake.

 

My dad used to work in a Ford dealership. Some days are much slower than others and needless to say boredom got the better of them. Don't ever let several people with little or no better than a high school education around explosives. They deceided it would be fun to make a spud gun out of soda cans and duct tape. What was their fuel of choice? None other than the acetelyne torch. They made a ball out of paper and tape and were firing it across the garage. As I understand the garage was about 100 ft long ways and this ball didn't drop much on it's way across. So naturally this starts to get old and someone gets the bright idea to add Oxygen to the mix as well. As dumb as these guys are everyone gets the hell out of the way when this guy lights off this little bomb. I guess it was just funny as hell. This guy was standing there holding the butt end of his spud gun his face blackened. My dad said it looked just like the cartoons.

Other lessons learned from pops.
1. Don't grab flywheels when they are falling.
2. Make sure the car is out of gear when bumping it over cause it will start
3. A radiator fan works just a well as a catapult when a timing light gets caught in it.
4. Keep your hand out of the door when closing it.

 

i had an 89 chevy half ton. just a W/T. nothing special. well it seems that my fan clutch went out one day. a trip to NAPA, $37 dollars and a few hours later, everything is fine.

about two months later, a friend of mine with an almost i dentical truck had the same problem. i just KNEW it was the fan clutch, so i stuck my hand in there to stop it, just to show him. i was wrong, his problem was electrical, the clutch engaged fine. part of my pinky, a reconstructive surgery, and about 200 stitches later i was fine.
an important life lesson was learned, NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING THAT SPINS!

 

Nitrobreth,
That reminds me of Bill Engvall's "Here's your sign" album. "I'm gonna give you boys a little tip. If you're gonna change a fan belt, you'd better turn that engine off first cuz you caint stop it with your hand." LMAO:sillylol: :sillylol: :sillylol:

 

First oil change; Dad's helping me out, telling me what to do. I'm spinning the filter- as he says "don't drop it when it comes loose", I drop it right into the pan full of oil, and covered my face/hair/shirt with oil. My dad nearly cried laughing!

I always love spilling the pan of trans fluid on the floor- especially when I've lowered it to within 1 inch of the ground.

Figured I'd get out my spare set of heads, and try out the valve spring compressor my fiance' got me for Xmas... compressed the spring, removed the keepers, uncompressed the spring. Funny, spring's still there? I tap it with a screwdriver- Boing! Thing lauched across the room, and took the oil shield with it.

Latest? I'm welding some slide-hammer holes shut on my friend's car. (He was hit by a deer, it ran into the side of the car.) I have a nozzle dip for the MIG guy, and was using it ever couple of welds. So I'm welding, and that's weird, my butt feels hot. I keep working, thinking it's the dual-500 watt halogen work lamp, but my *** is really getting HOT! So I stop welding, flip up the helmet, and the paper towel that I was sitting on was on fire- a spark lit it up. I was using the paper towel to wipe off any dirt/fuzz/etc off the mig gun before I'd dip the nozzle. Good thing I was in full weld gear, I just put it out by smacking it with my glove. My jeans got a little scorched.

Oh, I guess you could also count trying to remove hardened bondo from hairy legs. I was working on the same car, it was hot out, and I had decided to wear shorts- I hardly ever wear shorts, even if I'm not working on the car. A couple drinks too many, I noticed I had bondo on my legs- I just yanked the bondo up and off and OUCH! Yep, I went inside and put pants on.

 

Okay, here's my story: My friend and I were building our first dirt track bomber car. It was a 78 or so Olds Cutlass. We striped it, put in roll cage, painted it, rebuilt motor/trans, etc, etc. This took us about a month to do, and the first race was the following weekend. Well, we finally got everything ready to fire it up and break in the cam. I slid in, hit the ing, motor turns over, but won't start. Hmmm, timing must be off, right? We rechecked at TDC, no problem. Try it again. Well, this time it fires, but starts backfiring and spitting out fuel. We put out the fire, replaced burnt wires, drank some more beer, and tried again. Same thing happened, except the fire extinguisher is empty, so had to use the hose. We stand around for awhile, drink some more beer, and say **** it, we'll finish tomorrow AM. Cut to the next morning. We replace the carb with a non-rebuilt spare ( out of my truck), check the timing again, check the fireing order, plugs and wires, all good, so we cross our fingers, and try it again. Dang thing backfired and caught on fire AGAIN!!!. We go to parts store, get a rebuild kit for carb, replace wiring again, and finally call his boss at work ( local dealership shop foreman) We tell him the whole sad story, and before we finish, he asks... " What 350 did you put in the car?" We said, The Olds 350. He then proceeded to tell us about the fact that an Olds has the same firing order as a Chevy, but that the distributor rotor is on the opposite side of cam, hence the rotor turns COUNTER-CLOCKWISE! ARGHHHH!!!!!
To this day, I laugh about that!

 

I remember having trouble with my coulant sensor on one of the ford i have own. (crown-vic 90) So i have this new sensor i can try.
I put it in, heat up the car. The sensor seem to act the same as the old, so i said to myself, that's not the problem. I shut off the car, and "Immediatly proceed to take the sensor off so i can bring it back to the store" Boom!!! the sensor have being trow away so far because of the anti-freeze pressure! wow, i was a little burnt, in the face, my hands, chest... I did look preaty stupid running around yelling, "It's burning, it's burning" my dad did'nt know what has just happend... anyway, i'm still realy carefull, when it come to hot anti-freeze.

Also, a friend of mine was doing timing on that same car, so he has the timing light and say, i can barely see the mark, i'll bring the light closer, yes, he did put the timing light into the car fan (he was like, "what what what!?! is going on??) he let the timing light a good 10 sec there , getting eaten by the fan, timing light is still functional!

 

the absolute worst thing I have done to a car.

I burned a hole through the hood of a mint condition 57 Ford Thunderbird.
I was working at Pep-Boys, they told me to put a batter in it, I was tired, very hungover, the car came in on a hook, totally dead.

not paying attention, I grab a battery that was way to tall, put it in, fire it up, run the tests...shut it down, and then....
shut the hood!! OOPS!!!!
The battery must have arked when it contacted hood, when I opened i back up, there was a hole about the size of a dime where the battery post is, and the surrounding area was black and chared.
It wasnt the hood proper, it was sorta part of the hood, like a lip thing, not visible unless the hood was open.
the service manager told me to document on the paper work that it came in like that. and thats what we told the owner.


2nd worst, working again at pep boys, a CrownVic came in, I put a starter soleniod in, I dont know what happened, but the car still woudnt start. I walked away, and a couple minues later the car was bilowing smoke. Looked under the car, and the starter was split open and smoking.

3rd worst, almost a disastor
working again at Pep Boys,
putting a set of shocks on a 1 ton Dodge van.
I had the van up on a lift, and was using 2 axle jacks to support the rear axle. well, after the job was done, I was talking to another worker while lowering it, and I forgot to remove the axle stands. the Van reahed a 45 angle before I realized what I had done.

Stupidest thing I have ever seen someone else do:

Pep Boys,

fuel filter was rusted on, and I witnessed an older mechanic using the torch to try and loosen it, I **** you not. He actually wanted me to come over and hit the lines with a hammer while he applied the torch. This guy was 60 years old, he said "thats how we got em in the old days!"