If you want a really good one, punch the fan **** in a Berlinetta dash, only forget that the plastic cover isnt on it. You get a nifty inch long scar down your knuckle. It looks like i street fight now.

 

I love the way the TPI runners are shaped. perfect for spraying somthing down in there and redirecting it back towards you.

and I love how the fuel pump sits above the rear end and exhaust. after about 3 hours of pulling tires, panhard bars, sway bars, rear end, driveshaft, torque arm, exhaust, tank straps,

I finnaly get to the fuel pump... and it takes me about 5 minutes to swap.

dont ever try pulling plugwires off with your hand to see if they are firing, this goes double if you have an MSD ignition. i was on the ground for a while after that.


heh, and i was working under my car putting in my motor. when it was in, i remember to pull off the mechanical fuel pump block off plate, so fuel comes sloshing out everywhere under the car. lots of it...

Well when the motor fired up a few minutes later, with open headers, it shoots some 4' flames under the car (shorties) and ignites the fuel sitting on the plates under it. the entire thing lights up like a christmas tree... and i run into an engine hanging from a cherry picker... and it falls over smashing my halogen lights and my aluminum table that had my freshly painted intake and plenum and crank pulley...

needless to say i came out of the mess without a scratch, but somthing as stupid as a fuel pump block off plate install became a major ordeal.

 

king... after that last one.. maybe you should find a new hobby!! hehehe j/k.. that sounds like the worst thing ever... next to blowing your radiator at the track... now THAT sux.

 

ok well I have a couple I can add to this list...finally

well I just finished with dropping my motor in and firing it up. But of course I forgot to hook up the hose from the radiator to the over-flow bottle. It's not good to see all of your freshly done raidator fluid shooting (like a high pressure water hose) out onto the ground and inside your freshly done and clean engine bay.

Here's another: after going thru the hassle of getting everything set back up to find out that your over-flow bottle is cracked and more of your antifreeze (that you just put in for the second time) is spilling into the engine bay and motor that you just cleaned from the first spraying.

A third one: Finally get everything back to normal again (so you thought) only to drive around the block twice and have the radiator hose going to the water neck fly off and dump almost all of your antifreeze (that once again just topped off) covering the underside of the hood and completely soaking your engine and distributor cap (that you once again just got done cleaning and polishing) for the third time. Still haven't figured that one out. That's why my car is down again after running for roughly 10 minutes.

And the last one for now...While you're taking the distributor cap and coil apart to dry the connections (so far so good) only to drop a screw or two down into the carb. Then knock it down even further down in there just when you feel the tip of it and about to grab it. Mind you with the screw it was on the tip of a magnet with your hand under it moving it into position.

That's all I have so far. All this within about 30 minutes of driving last night (first time driving the car since the motor swap)

 

Oh yeah forgot one that goes along with my night last night...basically taking a bath in hot coolant that decides to shoot up at you when I popped the hood aiming for my eyes. Just missed me. I ducked in time and almost slammed my face into the car.

 

IF you're working on a car that's uninsured, even not titled yet.... DON'T take it for a drive with a friend to meet friend's father at school. To coverup the outdated liscene plate, we did a rolling start test so our bodies would cover up the plate.... oops.

 

excrazy, where at in MI are you?

 

These aren't new to the topic, but are my own mishaps...

1. Never think that the rotted tranny mount will be fine... the 5 speed shifter looks funny when you gas the engine and it jumps up 6 inches...

2. If you are working on your car... make sure to do the frustrating stuff alone... it's a good way to keep freinds

3. SUPPORT THE ENGINE WHEN YOU DROP THE TRANNY!!! The distributor makes a nice dent in the firewall when the engine falls back.

4. Replace the throwout bearing when you do a clutch... its $30! (AAMCO did that one... $850 clutch job... didn't replace it, and the guy sold the business a month later... no warranty!!!)

5. Make sure the ramps you drive your car up on won't sink 2 inches into the driveway a week later... it kinda defeats the purpose of them

6. Rebuilt that used carb BEFORE you put it on your car... it's a lot easier

7. Camaro jacks aren't good for anything but level jacking... they like to fold up on themselves...

8. Brakes work better with brake fluid

9. If you buy a car with one of those lockable kill switches that also locks your hood... get the key

10. If your speedometer doesn't work, don't just replace it. Make sure the cable isn't seized

11. The 6cyl tach doesn't read right on an 8cyl, so make sure of what one you put in BEFORE you put the dash back together

12. Free cars are free for a reason... the 92 Topaz that I got, overheated, lost the alternator... and then burst into flames.


my 2-c-

 

BAHAHAHAHA.... I woulda PAID to see a flaming Topaz doing 90mph down the street

 

After using large 1/2" breaker bar to turn motor over by the harmonic balancer bolt to set valve train lash on solid roller valvetrain, do not forget to remove said large 1/2" breaker bar before starting engine...

 

Ouch

Heres one, if you have the intake off, and use rags to keep stuff out of the motor, remember to remove all the rags from the lifter valley before putting it back together, or you will need to tear the engine down so the rag debris will stop clogging your oil pickup

 

I would just like to thank each and every one of you for boosting my self esteem :hail:

 

Heres a good one but its more of a story. Replaced a bunch of minor things on your car and just take it out for a quick spin just to make sure it worked still. Got about 200 meters down the road and it stalled. Allright turn the car to off, turn it back on ...click click...wtf???...click click...car wont start. So you and your friend at 2 am push a 4500 pound car up hill all the way back to your drive way. Get it home put it in park, oh crap good job genius you own an automatic and it doesnt start if you leave it in drive...my friend wasnt too impressed.

 

...but it sure is fun to impress your friends with a 7000 rpm red-line

 

You pushed it back home, uphill, in Drive??!!?!?

WOW.

 

I'm genuinely impressed!! Must be a big guy

 

How about not sitting on the windshield when pulling out the engine, my *** was sharper than I thought, I had to spend my money on that instead of a carpet I am now carpetless because of my pointy ***.

 

Always make sure you know what's around your head when laying under a car that is on jackstands, a mess of tools around and a tranny jack. Last night I turned my head to find a tool I couldn't find by just feel and BANG. Hit my head on a very pointy part of the transmission jack This didn't happen just once but twice lol. Just glad that's the only thing that happend.

 

ive done alot of stupid things while working on my car, my latest one is... trying to change engine mounts on a sunday night without the proper tools. it took me 6 hours just to get the drivers side one off (with the engine in and A-Arm on) and i am currently trying to figure out how to get the passanger side one off. for some reason there isnt enough room to get a socket or wrench on the top two bolts behind the A-arm on the passanger side. but yeah.... its 3am now and ill probly have to take the bus to work tomorow i just love how the haynes manual makes it sound so easy and gives almost no details on how to do it.

 

Which brings us to our next point......

What not to do: Follow anything the Haynes manual says

 

Reminds me of something my ex-g/f did. Called me at work from school to tell me her car wouldn't start and she'd be late for work. So, I go to rescue her, lol, jump in her car, attempt to crank once and look down to see the car is in reverse. So for 10 minutes of glory, I didn't say anything about it, put it in park and started the car, lol. I told her she didn't have the magic touch. She was a lil' ticked, but oh well, I got a laugh out of it, lol.

 

rofl no sorry guess i wasnt clear....i pushed it home in neutral but i realized when i got home that when i was trying to restart it after it stalled it was in drive. Crap im dumb but not dumb enough to push it while in drive....it was bad enough in neutral had to wake my parents up at 2 am to help me and my friend get it up the driveway...it was pretty bad

 

this is probably one of the most dangerous ones yet

One time I backed out of my parking space at work and went to shift it to drive, shifter linkage breaks. I shut the car off, crawled underneath the car to switch gears @ the tranny (it still starts in drive), remember to at least put the e-brake on and make sure your not on an incline. Thank goodness I have long arms and could still reach the tranny to throw it in drive cuz the car was moving pretty fast after the tranny went to neutral. I dont think I could get workmans comp for running myself over in the company parking lot.

Imagine what the other co-workers would think

live and learn i guess. lol

 

LOL... thats gotta be true... you can't make that stuff up

 

This is an old one but i just saw it and had to post...i think this one goes under the category of reasons for not letting anyone on this planet drive my car except for me (and maybe my mechanic because dont have much of a choice there when i cant figure wtf i broke this time). I cant imagine what slamming on the gas and break did to your drivetrain/breaks

 

when installing headers, always remove prak plugs!LOL I had to buy 8 when the header slipped outta my hand. IT happened on both sides too, youd think I woulda learnt when it happened once!LOL

 

I did this about a week ago.

I was putting my rear on ramps so that I could get some access to the exhaust. I went up once and then noticed I wasn't fully positioned on the ramp so I decided to try again.

Turned the car on, and put it in drive, instead of "N". I rolled down and the ramps went flying out the back of the car and knocked over a small, yet tall toolbox I had sitting on the floor.

 

when you 16 and have your first car (an 86 s10 blazer) and it needs a new hood thats fine but when you notice the hood from the junkyards latch doesnt work dont atempt to drive there thinking that the weight of the hood will hold it down. Because you will hit a bump cause the hood to jump up enough for the air to catch it bending it over your roof, smashing your brand new windshield, nocking the rear view mirror off witch will hit you in the face causeing you to drop the cigerete in your lap. Then tell me how fun it is to try an pull over in heavy traffic with a cigerete under your crotch looking under the hood trying to find room to pull over
ruinded my seat, my new hood and my windshield yeh im the guilty party on that one

 

OMG this is very important....if you take a bunch of bolts off of something and one of them is shorter even if it doesnt seem like the hole for it is any smaller dont assumer thats the way its supposed to be.

I was pulling off my air plenum so i could stick my new egr on and one of the torque bolts was shorter then the rest. I noted which hole it came from and wondered why that hole seemed to be the same length as the rest but had a smaller bolt. Anyways i assumed it was right because the bolt looked completly stock and when i went to torque all of the bolts back to spec. As im tightening the shorter (and might i add last bolt) up im right about to hit the point where my torque wrench stops me and i feel snap...wtf and my torque wrench is spinning freely. Pull out the bolt and drop my head in disgust as i see my threads still attached to the bolt. Luckily the rest of the threds were still in there and i just got a longer bolt to hold me by for the time being. Oh and a little note just encase you were wondering....the torques on the air plenum for a v8 third gen are 8mm. Wish i didnt know that...

 

im done something more stupid then that. my friend had an 82 Trans Am that the shifter was kidna broken to where you didn't have to push down the button to shift out of park. well one time i was under it checking the speedo gears cause the speedometer didnt work. he had his front wheels on the driveway with the back of the car in the street on a pretty good incline. well while i was under there (laying lengthwise under the car, head near engine and feet near end of car.) well for some stupid reason that i still don't know why, i messed with the shifter cable on the tranny and pushed it, heard it click and the car started rolling backwards.. i rolled and made it out with the front tire coming inches from my head as i rolled out from under the car as my friend tries to grab his already broken hood to keep the car from rolling... ever since then i always block the tires.

 

Heres another one... When your doing a rear swap all by yourself. Take extra care not to trip when your carrying the rear end, afterall, your a bit top heavy with it cradled in your arms at chest hight. *umphh, ....BANG!!!* Opps, another large dent in the side of the car.

Even more important, make sure none of your extremities is under the rear end when it is balanced precariously on a floor jack. You wont fully apreciate how heavy it is untill it falls off the jack and onto you.

 

dont use a torque wrench to tighten stiff bolts because its "easyer" its not fun to deal with stripped/broken off bolts

 

I guess it was about two years ago , i was at the gasstation when the old man in front of me showed the clerk a bottle of coolant and asked: Is this oil?? No said the clerk its coolant. OOOpppss says the old man and explained that he filled the engine with the coolant instead of oil. Is this bad he asked....
Anyway we help him towig his car to the garage.
So the lesson is: Dont use coolant instead of oil.
I guess the mecanic at Volvo had a lot of work to do getting that engine clean inside.

 

This didn't happen to me but I was watching from across the road at a parts store. Across the way was a smog shop, one of the guys was about to move a truck which was a stick shift and had about a 2 inch lift. The lady that owned the truck was on the passenger side, door open and reaching in for something. The guy opened the drivers door, went to start the truck but it was in reverse it dragged him and the lady back about 10 feet before he got it shut off.

Just thought of another that didn't happen to me. When you pull the carb off to rebuild it or for whatever reason, don't drap the fuel line into the intake. Why? if you crank the engine with fuel going into the carb-less intake, good chance that engine will start. Friend told me that poor old ford truck engine must have reved to 7,000 rpm before he could turn it off lol.

 

I think I posted the same thing about 6 pages ago

 

here's another good one...believe it or not if you accidentally knock the front quarter panel of a camaro with the drive shaft from the very same car it takes a nice little chip out of the paint....my friend did this about 2 hours ago but he is basically my personal mechanic and helps me a ton with my car so i let him live...anyone else now thats a different story

(luckily the paint chip isnt real noticeable unless your looking for it)

 

Doh! well, I haven't read through the whole thing lol Glad I don't have any more to report after finishing up my transmission install earlier today

 

when taking off a flexlite aftermarket fan, dont slip and let your knuckles drag acrost the very sharp bends of the raditor of your 78 c10, then get pissed and punch the grill, breaking it. i thought it was made of metal, well it turned out to be plastic, oh well i got another one that wasnt already broken before i punched it that is, for free.

or try to start your camaro after a month of not starting it and forgot that your aircleaner and filter assembly are sitting on your engine for your 78 chev C10 and let the edelbrock suck in part of the fire retardent mat, then you wonder why the car is running like crap. pop the hood and pull out about a goff ball sized peace of that crap, oh this is just today.

 

when taking off a flexlite aftermarket fan, dont slip and let your knuckles drag acrost the very sharp bends of the raditor of your 78 c10, then get pissed and punch the grill, breaking it. i thought it was made of metal, well it turned out to be plastic, oh well i got another one that wasnt already broken before i punched it that is, for free.

or try to start your camaro after a month of not starting it and forgot that your aircleaner and filter assembly are sitting on your engine for your 78 chev C10 and let the edelbrock suck in part of the fire retardent mat, then you wonder why the car is running like crap. pop the hood and pull out about a goff ball sized peace of that crap, oh this is just today.

 

I did the same thing on my old Monte once when I was in high school. We swapped out the intake manifold in shop class(which was against the rules by the way) and I was so happy to get it done in time I slammed the hood and started 'er up. Ran okay for about 6 seconds then, Damn it, what happened know. Popped the hood and that mat was in the carb. Luckily, it didn't get sucked in to far. The air filter was on a table next to the car!!!!

BTW, Eleanor was FORD...

 

Another dumb one courtesy of me.... No matter how much you want to get it done right away....don't try to tighten header bolts after you've just driven the car for about 30 mins. And even if you wait 30-45 mins, they are cast iron, so they will still be hot! Luckily I didn't burn myself too bad...

Oh yeah....and if you have a 10mm and a 12mm wrench, and neither will fit on a bolt....7/16ths will be the right size. I'm used to using metrics, so I went out and bought an 11mm wrench instead.

 

And if 10mm feels a little loose and 9mm won't fit, its 3/8s. Oh yeah, I work mostly on these new, metric cars. I have broken and rounded out my share of fasteners along the way. I guess that is why Snap on makes screw extractors...

 

Got one from a couple nights ago...

When you're disassembling a set of heads, don't go the "easy way" by removing the valve locks with a large socket and BFH (hit em good a couple times and the locks come flying out). It hurts when the hammer glances off the socket and smashes your fingers into the other studs and springs. Of course I had a valve spring compressor not 3 feet away.... After that incident I used it.... Much easier and no busted up fingers...

 

...


Not to mention the risk of the spring poking your eye out!!!

 

Here's another one. Read carefully and understand fully what it said on radiator caps: "Never open hot"

I'm currently experiencing some of the most excruciating pain in my life as a result of second degree burns up my entire arm, shoulder, and parts of my neck. I thought I had let the car sit long enough, but when I opened the cap, it blew off under high pressure bathing me in scalding hot water. Trust me, it is unlike anything you can imagine.

I just wish there was a video camera taping it, b/c I'm sure it was hilarious to see my turn from the explosion screaming and tripping over myself while falling into the garden trying to rip off my shirt. I wish I could see it.

:lala:

 

Sounds painful... I'll just take your word for it though

 

I HAVE felt your pain, brother....

The worst part was that it wasn't even my car. I was trying to help some girls...

 

Um. I did that once 'cept that I move quickly. Took me 3 damn hours to find the damn radiator cap though. It wedged itself behind one of the electric fans.

 

How embarassing! "Hey baby...let me have a look there. I'll fix that for ya. Hmm...let's see... [turn turn turn, PSSHHHTT] AHH! CHRIST!!! AHHHHHH!!! MY EYESSSSS!!! MY EYYYEESSSS!"

 

think i mentioned this one a couple of pages back. Opened the radiator with the coolant being warm but the engine itself went into heat soak and all the coolant in the block flashed over to steam as i opened it. All i saw was the radiator cap smack me in the forehead followed by torrents of nasty, sticky, coolant, all in the face, of coarse