was driving around with my corsica the other night and at this one stretch of road it's a messed up intersection that allows for two turn lanes onto a one way road with the outside lane also allowed to go straight if you are going into the college. I was in the outside lane a firebird in the inside lane we where both making a left onto the one way. the light turns green and like normal I take the turn wide because every now and then someone will turn as though they are turning into a normal 2 way road and go from the inside lane to the outside. well that is what he did and I'm thankfull I did that cause if not I would have hit him. did the usual honk let you know hey that wasn't cool but also noticed he is out of towner so who knows maybe he just isn't used to idaho and it's wanna be like a big town roads.
he sees what he did though and then switches lanes back into the inside lane and we pull up next to the light again. so he sits there not even paying attention to me or waving as to say sorry or anything like that but instead acting like some little kid who is all excited over the car he just bought though this guy had to be in his late 20's early 30's. but you know the type rev the motor a few times just to listen to how it sounds cause it makes you feel fast. so I turn give a reply and he looks over at me shocked as to see this little pos car reving at him. at this point he looks away from me doesn't rev the car up anymore and never looks at me again while at the light. I take off like a bat out of hell (well as much of one as this corsica can) and he just put puts off the line unlike the way he was trying to take off before. I sit back slow down wait for him and then give it some gas saying play with me and he just refuses to. oh well it was for the best anyways cause I had the next turn to go down so it would of been a very short race anyway but he refused. easy easy win for him but oh well.

 

Was it even a V8? lol

I almost got killed by soccor moms today and yesterday doing the same crap. God I hate soccor moms. Gotta get little Timmy to practice, even if she kills a couple people on the way there.

My new favorite is to annoy people with cell phones talking in their cars. My LTs dump right under my car (no muffler, nothing) so it's really.. really.. ****ing loud. Even with your windows up. I sit next to people talking on their cellphones with my car in first gear, even if I'm going 35 mph. It makes it REALLY hard for them to hear

 

man thats the greatest thing i ever heard urbanhunter and its smart i hate those *******s on phones to.

 

haha thats awesome!

 

I might have to try that one.

 

Haha

 

 

Thats funny.

Here is even a funnier one (I think )
For those who have nitrous, mount your purge valve coming out of your door, right under the rear mirror. Mount them on both sides.
Ususpected cell phone users, people who want to race you, anybody in general all GET PURGED IN DA FACE!

 

good idea but thats just cruelty right there. the a**holes would probably take your license plate and call the cops on you. i could do it lol but i dont feel like losing my car

 

hey on my honda the rear squirt doesn't have the nozzle on there so instead of spraying on the window it just sprays straight out the *** end. real good for tail gaters

 

lol thats different though but its still good.

 

99.9% i would say that is funny but what if that person just found out that there wife,kid,or parent was in a bad acciendent and they had to go some where real quick.try to think before you act

 

well you have to label the person first, if its some blonde teenage chick, acting all gitty and not paying the **** attention, make em pay.

 

I do it to idiot soccor moms and.. the worst offenders of all.. asians..

 

Anytime someone revs at me at a stoplight I sit there and wait for them to go away, not everyone enjoys the negative attention of people revving their motors at a light. Racing tickets are no joke.

 

if you notice I wasn't the one starting the reving

 

OLD PEOPLE are by far the worst of the worst offenders!

You sound like a stick in the mud Dad
Anyway if someone almost hits somebody while their on the phone driving they deserve to have their conversation interrupted. Its against the law to talk on the phone and drive!

 

Maybe where you are....
Sadly its not illegal here in Tx.

and Rx7, not saying you started it. When I had my 350TPI it would high idle at stop lights and I would have to blip the throttle to get it to kick down, so some might have thought that was an inventation to rev at me....thats the case I was talking about.

 

this guy was bringing it over on his own. you know hard off the line, reving at the light idle for a moment then rev again. it was just like a kid who bought brand new car and thought he had the dogs nuts.

 

Yeah I love bothering the crap out of people on their cell phones. One chick in her little grand am was on her phone while driving (if you can call it that) and I was behind her on my 81 suzuki gs450. Well she was just chatting away while smoking and "driving" and didnt notcie that she was flicking her ashes out and they were going all over me. Im the patient type so I wait till we get to a redlight and i pull up along side her at such an angle that my exhaust goes right in her window and proceeded to rev like hell. Not only does my bike smoke a lot, but I also removed the baffling from the mufflers. Loud would be an understatement. As you guessed, she told me I was #1 and sped off (still on her cell phone). So I completely agree with urbanhunter. Good job.

 

this is my roomates story from another forum which is quite comical

The dog story.

I hate dogs. I hate them because they are annoying and they smell bad. I hate them because they bark. I hate them because they bite. I hate them because they created “dog lovers” and I hate “dog lovers” for loving dogs.

Anyways, Sunday night I roll up to a red light in the outermost of 2 lanes. I have the windows down in my lotus. A lady pulls up to me on the left, she is clearly a “dog lover”.

In her front passenger seat is a dog. In her back seat is a human. Not a child, no, this was an adult - I could tell right away this lady sucked total ***. The dog in her front seat is one of my most hated models of dog: The Barking White Rat Dog. So I glance over to see this dog “freaking out”. It’s barking up a storm, growling. I could see the hate in its eyes (apparently, not everyone loves the Elise).

So what does Crazy McDoglady do? She rolls down the window so the dog can stick its stupid white head out of her stupid green civic and bark right in MY ****ing face. At this point, I was close enough where I could probably rip the dog out of the car onto the pavement where I would proceed to run it over repeatedly. However, being a vegan and somewhat of a humanitarian, I decided that this was not the proper course of action (though the irony would be timeless). I needed something less violent. The thought of activating my car’s horn crossed my mind, but I had serious doubts about its effectiveness. Chances are, it would be muffled by that little bastards incessant yelping… seriously, it was ****ing loud! No, I needed something with more oomph… An epiphany struck. There are times when the stars are just perfectly aligned. Today was that day. A short series of seemingly disconnected events had left me with my revenge…

I reached over and grabbed…

Actually, let me backtrack a bit, let’s review how perfectly this all worked out…

EVENT ONE: Saturday night means a night out. It’s the only night of the week that doesn’t require me to get up the next morning.

EVENT TWO: This past Saturday night was a relatively nice night, and so I had the lotus out.

EVENT THREE: I hung out with Andy (originalsin) who brought with him, for no apparent reason, a few interesting objects.

EVENT FOUR: We went to a party at 93dx—hatch’s house

EVENT FIVE: Andy is an alcoholic.

EVENT SIX: Andy gets plastered. I don’t want him puking in my car so I leave him there. His personal effects remain in my car.


Back to the story: Here I am stuck a red light while this little POS looks into my eyes and barks at me with the fire of 1000 suns. A quick glance to the dogs owner reveals a smug satisfaction as “her precious” lets loose an audio attack on “that young punk in a sports car”. No, really, I made eye contact with her and I could tell she thought it was hysterical. In fact, had it not been for my retaliation, if this woman was even slightly technologically savvy, I can imagine a post on http://www.myadorablepuffydog.org detailing Fluffy’s verbal assault on “some rich kid in his Daddy’s car”. Unfortunately, today was not Fluffy’s day.

I reached over to the storage tray on the Elise dash and grabbed my weapon. I stuck the barrel of it right into the goddamn barking cottonball’s face. I centered it right between his ****ing eyes, point blank range. I pulled the trigger.

A water gun would have been mildly funny. Mace would have been mean. A cap gun had the potential to ignite this ****ing dog. But I didn’t have any of these.

I had…


An air horn.

The instant I pulled the trigger, the barking stopped. The air coming from the barrel pushed the dog’s fur back until you could see just how tiny its face was. I now have no doubts as to whether or not a dog can exhibit human emotions on its face. I am now certain that they can. Rather, I am certain that it can exhibit one in particular: TERROR. I have never seen an animal so frightened. The dog froze. For what seemed like an eternity I laid on the horn until it began to lose steam. I released the trigger. For a split second more, the dog stood, petrified; frozen in his tracks. Then it was gone. It was almost as if the blast from the horn was followed by a nuclear shockwave. The dog exploded off the seat of the car and onto the floor. I was hoping it would raise its head, but I never saw it again. I glanced at the dog’s owner. The look of shock on her face was incredible. Chances are, the she was nearly as startled as the quivering pile of fur now huddled on the floor of her car.

I nodded to her.
The light turned green.
And I drove home.

 

that my friend is the funniest **** ive heard today

good job, i need to get myself an air horn

 

This story is pure art.

 

i agree


On a side note i hate women drivers LETS DO MY MAKEUP AND SMASH INTO A POLE@!

 

i cant stop laughing.

 

i'm a dog lover myself, but the one thing i hate is an untrained,spoiled dog like the one in the story....i laughed my a** off. that is funny.