I have searched and pro built said .08" - .12" was ideal before you tighten the torque converter. Mine is .13" will I be ok or should I get 3 .03" thickness washers use them as spacers then tighten up the torque converter

You'll be fine.

at least a car space as they shouldn't be on the same car.

thanks the car is finally coming back together at a decent rate

I have recommended .080" - .125" clearance. If you have .130", that is .005" over the recommendation, don't worry about it. If you already have the .030" washers, go ahead and add them.

my gap is bigger than this by quite a bit... what should i do?

What gap do you have?