clomkfly

HI all... been up researching this problem since it arose maybe 11 hours ago.. So i have an 82 Camaro z28...some big blue V8 in it (was told it was a 350 swap but dont know how to check)..LOL. For starters my heater core is bypassed.. a hose from the waterpump (with no thermostat) runs directly back into the engine...BTW, the hose is pinched NOW for some reason, wasnt before!
So i was driving on I95 North...doing about 95mph or so... when the car stopped accelerating..point blank! It very slowly eased its way back to 55mph with my foot FLOORED to the peddle. It gave a good backfire, started ping knocking and dropped to 45 mph.. where it gave another backfirous roar and began to smoke violently! had no choice but to wait..IN THE PASSING LANE for state cops to arrive and push me to nearest exit.
When off the highway, i popped the hood and smoke gushed out butt it was that sweet smelling white smoke...ANTIFREEZE. My engine was soaked for some reason.. i touched the valve cover to confirm overheating and of course got a nice burn...OUCH! I checked the oil and...OF COURSE, it was BONE DRY and black... not white and creamy, indicating a warped head/gasket, mixing antifreeze! My speculation is that the overheating caused the pistons, crank, and other internals to burn-off the oil. BLAH BLAH BLAH...tow truck BLAH! car is in front of my house..
The engine is not seized up...it turns/cranks...but very very very slowly. When i got a jump (bad battery being my thought)... it turned slowly and then got quicker. i primed my accel pump on the holley for more fuel and tried again..it gives the im trying to start kinda sound, but wont.
What are the things an unemployed college student can check with budget or $100 EXACTLY!? LOL
I know...blah blah blah. air, fuel, compression, spark! which is easiest to check first? What to do? HELP PLEASE!