Why There Is No Santa.......



There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau).

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical).

This works out to 967.7 visits per second.

This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000 th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney,
jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound.

For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.

Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen
Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.

The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's.

A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force,

instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.




Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Hopefully I will still get exhaust for christmas.

 

holly crap man, you got way to much time on your hands. put them to good use, go wax my car, just kidding if you did that the paint might fall off

 

 

hey jack@ss, look what you did you made him cry!

 

would u be interested in my calulations on the easter bunny?

 

LoL. Thos arent your calculations Ive seen them many a time before.



Still funny though

 

LMAO

 

FUDGE YOU I STILL BELIEVE
OH AND SANTA DOESN'T HAVE TO STOP AT PLACES WHERE THE PARNETS TOOK CARE OF EVERYTHING
CALCULATE THAT

didn't mean to yell just didn't feel like re typing

 

My head hurts!

 

I've read it before, and I read it again, always makes me laugh.

 

i ran over santa in my GTA

 

My physics teacher read that to us on the last day of school. Its from some physics publication from 1990. Its still funny though-if your a big nerd.

 

ouch.

 

now thats one helluva way to try and explain to kids why there are millions of santas... so that the real one doesnt really die



put the easter bunny stuff up here 2...

 

this first time i heard this..... was in CHURCH!!! can ya believe that..

 

And I thought I was a geek...