Allan

Hell yes! That's supposed to smooth idle and increase octane for that extra power!

I just sold a Honda Accord (was a paid for beater go to work car) to a woman who took it to her mechanic "friend." He told her it had an oil leak and a radiator leak. I had just put on new gaskets, brand new radiator, etc. The car was parked on my driveway for over a year and not a drop had spilled on teh pavement so I knew he was full ofi t. What he shouldn't have done was tell her to put this aluminum power radiator seal to seal up the "radiator leak" and then let run for 15 minutes. Well, she got the oil cap and radiator cap confused. Needless to say, the car ran for an amazing 8 minutes before completely seizing up.

A) Some people have no business opening up a hood.
B) I'm surprised she didn't shut off the engine before 8 minutes. I'm sure that thing made a hell of a racket before the big finale!

------------------
IROC-Zone
------------------
'88 Camaro IROC-Z 350 TPI

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of rice,
I shall fear no Turbo; for Torque art with me."
- Cullan Hooley

breathment

well the noise is it fixing itself




------------------
- David
88' GTA 5.7L TPI MODS---> air foil, K&N, Shift Kit, 180* therm, TB bypass, Gutted CAT, Flowmaster 80 Series Muffler added to Unkown CatBack, Ported Intake

http://www.geocities.com/david_angel_16

DiecastZ28

lmao, these posts are funny as hell.

------------------
1985 Camaro Z28
305
5-speed Transmission
Flowmaster Exhaust
4 barrel carb
8mm wires
Kenwood 600 amp
Sony Deck
4 6x9 Jenson Speakers
2 4x6 Polk Audio
2 10" JL w0 Subwoofers

HighHopes85

My first day working at a parts store, a guy comes in looking at the fuel additives. I asked him if I could help him out with his choice. He looked up and said, "My dog just drank about 2 cups of antifreze. Do you know if I can give him any of this stuff to help him out?"

88camaro

lol,,,, ROFLMAO... damn.... i truly feel sorry for the dog , but i cant stop laughing

89V6FBIRD

LOL poor doggie.... but then doesn't fuel + antifreeze = dead engine, therefore, dead doggie. LMAO

------------------
Stock 2.8 MPFI auto w/ Flowmaster 80 Series, More to come......
Pioneer DEH-11
Targa E-910 7-Band Equalizer w/ crossover
2x 10" Pioneer subs powered by 300 Watt Jensen amp
2- 6x9" Pioneer (rear)
More to come..... (hey, i dont got a job yet)

Apeiron

He would have been better off at the liquor store. Ethyl alcohol is administered for glycol poisoning.

Tas

v4?

Project86Iroc

I dont know either way on Mercedes, but SAAB had a Ford-built V-4 in the Sonnets in the 70's
As for whoever was talking about working for Autozone, Im not touching that one

ploegi

While working at the Chevy dealer as a service writer, a lady had her cavalier z24 towed in..... The engine was seized, after a causal inspection, I noticed it still had the factory black oil filter, and asked when the last time she changed her oil was. She looked at me like I had just grwon another head, and said, quite seriously, "But, it says maintenance free right there!" She had 24000 miles on the car. We voided her drivetrain warranty on the spot.

BigL350

I'm a certified electronics installer and I work for a vendor doing installs at new car dealerships. A lady brings her Jeep in for service and says the remote starter doesn't work anymore. Don't see the safety cutoff switch anywhere, so I take the dash down. not having a remote starter in your car usually prevents it from remote starting. How it used to remote start, we'll never know.
I was installing a remote starter in new car that was about to be delivered when the salesman asks me how many remote starters did I put in it........uhhh...one? why, would you like another? car salesmen are the best. Their job should be a special olymics event.

------------------
90 IROC convertible, dead stock 305TPI and TH700R4
79 Malibu, 350, ZZ3 cam, Vortec heads, Performer RPM manifold Th200r4, GN rear, real sleeper(excuse for not doing any body work)

cfabe

I went into autozone about a month ago to see if they had fuel injection hose by the foot instead of in the little packs like carquest. Ask the kid behind the counter "Do you carry 5/16" high pressure fuel injection hose?" He says "uhh yea" so I ask him how much is costs and its only &.99 a foot, which is not nearly enough, the cheapest Ive seen it other places is like $5 a foot. I ask him agian to make sure he knows I need the high pressure hose that's used for port fuel injection systems and he agrees. He goes and gets it and comes back with 5/16 normal fuel hose. I can tell before I even read the words because it doesnt feel the same as the high pressure stuff. The kid insists this hose is good to at least 100 psi, and it takes me about 5 minutes to have him go ask the manager, who of course tells him I'm right. Turns out they were out of stock on the high pres hose so he just gave me the normal stuff. I hate to think what other substitutions this guy has made for people.

88camaro

k, i didnt get the reply t omy mercedec v4 messege r u calling it bs cuz if u r im going to get my digital camera and take a pic of that v4 ,

NTChrist

Take a picture.

------------------
No guts, no glory.

Mark A Shields

Did they make v4s. Aren't they just 4 cylinders.


------------------
2 Tickets to game= $250
Gas= $20
Sitting 20ft. from MJ= Priceless
'86 IROC T-TOPS, TINTED WINDOWS, BRAKE LIGHT BLACKOUTS
GM GOODWRENCH 350
EDELBROCK HEADERS Hooker CatBack
EDELBROCK 600CFM CARB.
KN AIRFILTER
ACCEL HEI DISTRIBUTOR
160* Stat, just switched to 180* b/c of winter coming and going to college in the mts.
3:73 Posi Rebuilt 700R4
B&M Megashifter, 5" Autometer Tach w/shift lite

breathment

is there a difference between regular fuel injection hose and high pressure fuel injection hose? both being rubber?


------------------
- David
88' GTA 5.7L TPI MODS---> air foil, K&N, Shift Kit, 180* therm, TB bypass, Gutted CAT, Flowmaster 80 Series Muffler added to Unkown CatBack, Ported Intake

http://www.geocities.com/david_angel_16

UVA3rdGen

Not a myth, just a funny story. Me and my brother need to stop talking about cars infront of my mom, it is amazing what she has picked up. I drained the oil on my lawn mower last winter and disconected the spark plug to make sure no one started it while i went to the store to get the oil. I come back to find the motor toasted. She had tried to start it, figured out the spark plug was disconected started the whole thing up again, and just thought "a rock was stuck underneath" for about 2 minutes before it blew.

I had some guy swear to me up in down that putting in as many bottles as he could of cam2, into his NA totally stock (including timming) hemi made it run with atleast 20 more HP. He also swore 'shine was a worthy substitue if you do not have any Cam2 available.

[This message has been edited by UVA3rdGen (edited December 09, 2001).]

Tas

the V denotes the aragnements of the cylinders. It is an inline 4 not a v4. You can abreviate this by I4 or L4. I have an I6 4.2L Jeep. It can also be listed as L6 but that's more old fashoned. Since most people are clueless when you open a Truck sales mag it will be listed as 6 cyl since people wouldn't call on a L6 or I6.

------------------
-Tas
'89 Formula WS-6 made in Van Nuys, CA, U.S.A.

305, TBI, 700R4, P.A.W. 14x3 open element with K&N, Milodon 160* thermo, functional Formula hood, cross-flow Flowmaster, '99z28 rear pipes and tips, Hooker 1-5/8" 50 state legal headers, Dynomax 3" I pipe (PN 44063 and 43248)
Super GRK_Taz World
F-Body Dual Exaust
EFI & Intake Options

Mark A Shields

Yeah, that's what I thought, it's just some guy a few posts up was saying he saw a V4 mercedes.

88camaro

oh........ yea, so it was an L4
sorry my mistake i thought the V stood for the amount of cylinders,
sorry, but that doesnt make the story less funny

mcconahay37

iTrader: (3)

Some of these stories are frightening. There's a reason I do as much work on my own car as I can. Here's a joke that some of you mechanics that know what you're doing might enjoy. Not about cars, but about fixing things.

There was a man who's air conditioner went out in the middle of the summer. He put off getting it fixed until his wife's pestering made him finaly call the a/c repair man. The man called the repair man and told him the ac had quit. There was a pause and the repair man asked "Do you have any idea what is wrong with it?" The man replied "I haven't got a clue." At this, the repair man said "Well, in that case I'll be over to fix it in about 10 minutes."

------------------
Feel free to donate to the Matt Needs An Engine That Runs fund
82 Camaroead 350
TH350 tranny with 2500 stall, Eibach Pro Kit, SLP 1 3/4" headers with 3" Flowmaster exhaust

Nightcruzer

While buying a headlight switch at a GM Parts Counter, a guy waiting in line decides to strike up conversation and asked me what kind of car I drove, so I told him an 83 TA. So he says his "friend" has a "custom built" corvette with TWO V8 engines, one in the front and one in the back and it does close to 300mph, but for street use he only uses one of the engines. So with a dead serious look in my eye, I say yeah I think I've seen it around.... wackos I tell ya.

99Hawk120

You can laugh all you want, but V4's DO exist. I saw one in an early 80s subaru (you know, the kind with the spare tire in the engine compartment). Damnedest thing I ever saw. The ebrake on that car worked the front wheels, too (it was FWD)...

Crazy car...

blue91rs

That v-4 you saw in a subaru is a flat 4. The cylinders are horozontally opposed.

tpi_roc

Sure you weren't looking at the car backwards?



------------------
1985 Iroc-z, 14 second 305, new engine in the works.

Damon

Here's one that I am almost sure is STILL ripping people off to this day.

Back in the Land Before Time, I woked at Jiffy Lube. One of our favorite things to do was sell "add on" services. Jiffy Lube basically gave away their oil changes at cost. Their profit came from "extras" like air filters, trans fluid changes AND................Rear Diff Oil Changes!

We had a great little scam going. We'd dip a few drops of your car's diff oil onto a piece of white paper. THen we'd put a few drops of CLEAN diff oil next to it. Of course, the old oil from your car's diff would look like a pile of dirty dog crap next to the new stuff. Then we'd ask if you'd like us to change it. Lots of people would say yes at $45 a pop.

Only one problem with this. It's total bullcrap. Diff oil looks nasty 3 minutes after you put it in the rear! We had cars with less than 5K miles on them getting the rear diff oil chnged! If you think I'm kidding go look at the sludge in the rear of your car right now. Even if you got it changed yesterday and only drove home it's still gonna look like tar when you dip it onto a piece of white paper! Doesn't mean it's got anything wrong with it or needs changing.


NOW FOR THE TOPPER:

We kept extra cards with pre-dipped nasty looking diff oil out in the bays. If you knew how many times we changed diff. oil on FWD cars you'd cry. Or the number of times we sold this stuff without ever checking what was in the diff to begin with. Or the number of times we DIDN'T EVEN PERFORM THE SERVICE after we sold it to you!

Yes, I know I am going stright to He11 after I die.

gruveb

Tire is only flat on the bottom!

I was a tank mechanic in the army for a while....some great stories!!!

For example, starter must be bad b/c the engine won't even turn over..(Had this one happen almost daily!)...and 95% of the time it was in gear!

Tas

yes they exist but not in a mercedes. They are used for some midget racing classes. Subarus use flat 4s like porsche's flat 6 and VWs flat 4.

88camaro

ok, ok , my mistake it was an L4 not a V4 i GET my mistake , can we just forget about it now, damnit, r u going to haunt me for it for the rest of my life
an L 4 not a V4 damnit!!!!!

Sitting Bull

A guy that drove my cab at night, back about 15 years ago, insisted that I have "winter air" put in the tires, once November rolled around. I stared at him for about two minutes but he was completely serious.

True story!

CamaroZ_85

yep that dang summer air aint no good for traction in the snow!

rx7speed

for those of you that know the rotary motor some guy who builds motors was telling me that I need to get a full race cam for my car and make sure I put it in straight up....

cam??? what cam??

also found a timing chain for my car once...

I also heard of a guy running a thin oil in his rad rather then coolant/water mix... wierd thing is it ran like this for some time without problems.


------------------
imports are cool - ricers suck
ICQ 4116192
AIM RXspeed87
Got rotary?
running a turbo motor with 12psi.
full dual 3 1/2" pipes comming off the turbo
FMIC,CAI, ram air, e-fan,
soon to have ported intake,TB, and motor
best time 12.5 on G-tech
prev best time 14.8

hoping for 11.x soon :-)
but I broke another driveshaft...

and still running full street trim :-)

Bird_of_Prey

ok don't rip on me for this, but before i was looking at F-bodies as a car, i was looking at RX-7's (turbo) and Toyota Supra's (88+, turbo).. neways... i went to see this 89 RX7 turbo, had gfx kit and nice rims.. ok, look inside and the guy took out the stereo.. ok, it was a 2500$ low competition stereo.. i understand that.. so i ask him to pop the hood.. i'm with my friend and we look over the motor, turbo, look at the oil (cuz it's turbo and the oil upkeep usully reflects the condition of the turbo (usully)) ask him last time he did an oil change.. tells me just before winter.. ask him how long he's had the car and if it's been done regularly.. tells me at every 3000 miles.. but it's been stored every winter.. asked about last time it got the done over (spark plugs, wires fuel filter, etc) tells me the same time.. then he gets confedent and tells me it's very quick for a 4 cyl.. so me and my friend look at eachother.. try not to laught too hard.. so i continue to look at the car (hey, if he thinks it's a 4 cyl.. maybe it's one of those "catches" where he dosn't know wtf he has)i ask him if he's ever driven it hard.. tells me no.. so i look at him hard and he admits he has a few times.. so i ask him how fast it can go (in my best kiddie, i wanna fast car voice) so he says he's brought it up to 145 mph in 4th... so i ask him if i can start it up.. tells me to.. so i do.. hear this *** awfull whistling.. says the belts do that when it's cold.. ok, whatever.. let it idle for 10 minutes.. chatted with the guy about stereo's.. squeeking never stoped.. while i was talking to the guy i has instructed my friend to make sure to listen to the turbo and the engine while i was reving it before we got to the place... neways.. stop the car.. me and my friend say we'll call him later and go back to my car.. laughed all the way home at the 4 cyl turbo rx7 that had loose turbo bearings and a squeeking, grinding motor..
good ol' 13b turbo motors...


------------------
87 formula
LB9, Automatic
K&N
3" mandrel bent exhaust,
v-force muffler
Hypertech preformance

ronterry

Leaving Checker Auto yesterday, couple teenagers get out of there jeep, and ask me if my Vette had a 350 small block or was it a 350 big block ?

So I spout out the technicals of a Gen II Chevy 350 LT1, I look up at the guys, and they had that "hey, did you OD on crack" look on there faces. So then I said "yea dude its a 350 small block".

Then he starts in with the "My friend" has a 499 this or big block 999 that, with a super charger turbo, that could kick your *** . (Friend probably has a beat up 350 with daytona valve covers w/wire holding his Qjet togather)

Ron


------------------
'82 Trans Am
'81 Camaro Z-28
'94 Vette LT1 Coupe
'00 Impala LS

[This message has been edited by ronterry (edited December 10, 2001).]

LilJayV10

iTrader: (5)

I laughed my a** off reading this stuff, I am a mechanic(no i dont change rearend grease at jiffly lube, what a scam, now i know why people are leary of mechanics, *** knows i dont trust them LMAO)anyways, these are some stories that i have heard, of happened to me over the years.
1. happened to me when i was 16 and knew nothing about cars, i took my rotors to autozone, I HATE AUTOZONE!!and the guy turned the rotors with the bearings still in. you can imagine how the rotor wobbled, i still dont see how he did it. when i went back, he said my rotors where warped and could be seen by the hit and miss cut pattern on them. after much debate, i got new rotors, after i started working for an old school mechanic who has taught me everything i know, i wanted to go back and beat him with the rotor. i was young and didnt know any better.
2. my uncle's friend who is a manager at autozone(no i dont wanna talk about it)said he had a guy call in and the conversation went as follows
the guy "yes sir, i rented a steering wheel puller from you guys, it worked well, but i have a question." manager "yes whats your question?" the guy" the puller worked good, but how do you get this bad thing back in?"
manager".....silence........" the guy" the damn thing about broke my arm when it came out, I was wanting to know how to put it back together" manager".......silence"
he told me this story, and i about died laughing
and my all time favorite, late nite taco bell, an 81 trans am pulls in, sounds pretty good, i ask the guy whats in it.
he said its really a 79 all aluminum vette engine, thats in a 80 t/a body, but was licensed as a 81 for emmisions purposes, it has a 4 speed in it, with a dana 60 factory rear end with 4.30 gears(this is all factory mind you)i looked at the guy in disbelief and said wow. he said yeah, its one of a kind. i said wow. if darwens theroy of evolution really is correct, why arent some of the people trees or dogs or something. wow
lil jay

------------------
Wide Open Till You See *** ...Then Brake

89 T/A Clone
406 in progress
TH700R4 3.42 Posi

rjmcgee

I had a 83 RX-7 before I got smart and went to a real car, 86 Z-28. Not stock and don't know what it has in it . Give credit to the RX-7 cause it was the toughest
car I ever had,plus I don't think you can make a heavy car like the camaro handle like the RX-7 but handling isn't everything.Not saying that the thirdgen cars don't handle good.

IROCThe5.7L

OMG, You got to be kidding!!


------------------
1988 Jet Black IROC
5.7L W/ 64000 miles
Flowmaster Exhaust
Fully Loaded
------------------

My IROC In Readers Rides
My IROC
Listen To The Exhaust!

AJ_92RS

I used to work at a Shell Service Station.

1. There was this 65 yr old lady who came in about once a month. Never bought gas, cigs, or pop. Just oil.

She had an '86 Cavalier wagon. Whenever the car's oil light came on, she'd pull up, we'd go out and check her oil, add about 3 qts. and away she'd go.

I worked there 2 yrs and she had the same car the whole time. That's when I decided I wanted a Chevy!!!

2. There was another older lady who came in and wanted to get her Buick fixed because her son-in-law said that the Cadillac Convertible was clogged!!!!!!

3. I lived in a smaller town. The lady across the alley from the station wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. She came in one day wanting to know if she could borrow an adjustable wrench. "My husband only needs it for about 10 minutes."

My boss looks at her and says, "Standard or metric?"!!!!!!! She says, "I dunno. I'll go ask him." and darted out the door.

I had to go run and stop her so that her husband didn't come back and kick our asses!!!!!!!! GØD DAMN some people have no clue about anything!!!!!!

She left and my boss says "When they were handing out brains, she thought they said train, and said 'No thanks. I'll get the next one'"!!!!!!!!!!!

AJ

[This message has been edited by AJ_92RS (edited December 11, 2001).]

88IROCs

Whoa, that took me off guard. Tried looking-up Chrysler-type EGR valves, to see what was up(I have zero exp. with '80's Mopars). Couldn't find anything on a backpressure-operated EGR. Which makes sense, as backpressure is variable and unpredictable(in some situ's) and opening the valve to bleed some exhaust into the intake stream would have the effect of decreasing backpressure.

I think what you may be thinking about is a Ford-type EGR valve, which uses a comparator sensor to measure pressure at the inlet and outlet side. From this it can determine how far open the vacuum-operated, solenoid-controlled diaphragm is open.

Backpressure is a positive pressure, in a direction opposing the flow of exhaust gases. As such, it makes the exhaust system less efficient, but it is impossible to measure and control, unless you measure the pressure at the most upstream point and compare the pressure loss at the most downstream point. If this doesn't sound like something a car manufacturer would do, you're right.

However, reducing backpressure with a more efficient exhaust, will increase the scavenging efficiency of the exhaust(the scavenging pulse helps to draw a fresh intake mixture into the cylinder), which will be felt as increased vacuum by the MAP sensor. That's what confuses a lot of people. When the computer senses the increased vacuum, above what it can compensate for, it may cause erratic operation and trouble codes. The guy who put on the better exhaust knows he has reduced backpressure, and assumes the computer can sense backpressure and needs a certain amount of backpressure. While what has really happened is the increased vacuum is too far outside of the value expected by the computer for that operating condition(throttle position, engine rpm's, etc.,...)

The result is the computer will need to be recalibrated for the increased vacuum. But the computer cannot sense and doesn't need backpressure to operate properly.

99Hawk120

They didn't look horizontally opposed to me, but I guess I just didn't look at it that carefully. I suppose it could have been a flat engine... but it sure as hell wasn't an L4...

AJ_92RS

Is that the politically correct term?

I guess that means that my car (92 RS) is Acceleratingly Challenged!!!!! HEHE!!!!!!


AJ

TomP

OMG, guys, thanks for this post; I'm trying to write a term paper, and this was a great "stress break"!

mrr23

don't ever forget the chrome-plated hammerwhohaw valve. and chrome pulleys give at least five hp because the chrome reduces wind resistance when spinning.

------------------
mrrjjdh03@aol.com moderator at www.fl-thirdgen.org

chevymad

Hey 88irocs. You can get a positive or negative pressure egr valve for chevys too. The positive valve will not open without some backpressure. No matter how much vacuum is applied. These valves work well if you have a problem with egr coming on too early. Wont open till theres some exhaust pressure. At work we have an egr tester that will test both kinds of valves. Its air operated. It supplies vacuum to the valve and some air pressure to the exhaust opening in order to test positive valves.

88IROCs

You state the tester supplies vacuum to open the diaphragm, so this type of egr valve is vacuum-operated. I could see using an external source of air pressure to push the diaphragm open, but I don't see the point and this doesn't make the valve egr-operated. The problem I see with using the exhaust gas to push open the diaphragm is that as soon as there is enough pressure to open the diaphragm, you would start bleeding away pressure and the diaphragm would close again. Then pressure would build and the diaphragm would open and start bleeding away the pressure again. Endless cycling and no way to really establish a consistent and reliable rate of flow.

I'll admit I don't have much experience with egr valves, but I just don't see using backpressure to operate an egr valve. Especially as backpressure will vary with load and rpm, which would make it even more difficult to 'program' the solenoid events to achieve the desired valve duty cycle. Even if you could map the different amounts of backpressure at different conditions(a complex task in itself), to be able to know how much of that backpressure to send to the valve in an effort to consistently and reliably deliver an expected rate of flow would present another order of magnitude of complexity(you'd almost need a seperate ECM to control the egr valve). On the other hand, you could just use a reliable external source(vacuum or pressure) to attain the desired duty cycle and get a consistent and reliable rate of flow.

robbob

The best joke I've seen played is to ask some newbie at a parts counter to look for a water pump for a 69 Volkswagon Beetle.
Took the guy over an hour before we came clean about it.

85 Berl

Hey, 88camaro, I found a pic of a V4 engine! It's based on a 350, and used in some racing classes, I think. I also heard of a V4 diesel. Never actually saw that one, though.

85 Berl

Forgot to attach the pic.

paulo57509

Years ago back in high school auto shop, I watched these two idiots charging a battery. After the charger shut off, one of them goes over to the tool board and grabs a breaker bar. (You can see this coming, can't you?) There's a small but violent explosion that blows the idiot back about six feet. It never would have dawned on me to check a battery's state of charge by shorting the posts to see if it sparks. Lucky for him, he survived with only soiled shorts to show for it.

82camaro

I use a V4 once in a while. It's not in a car though. It's on a buzz saw(35 inch blade). Wisconson-Robin I think. It's an old engine, rated at 25 hp.
Back when I was a mechanic for a living(going to college at the time), I was alignments, front end work,..... About 3 months after we installed tires on this couples 93 Lumina they called and were mad. Both of them on the phone complaining how the tires we sold them are defective and unsafe--on and on and on. Finally I got to speak and I told them to bring car in. They said it wasn't safe to drive brought in the tire they already had removed from the car(why it was removed I don't know). They showed up, I talked to them and asked what was wrong with the tire. They stood it up and let go--it fell to the ground--they looked at me. I asked is it going flat or what? They said, in unison, "Can't you see, it won't stand up by itself, it just falls over, why did you sell us a dangerous tire" I couldn't talk without laughing, so I got the manager to explain the situation. I listened in and they were going to take it to their mechanic and have the tires fully examined.
Ever watch a blonde put oil in through the dipstick tube--it's an experience.

"The brakes are squealing really bad, could you add some brake fluid?"

"You did not change the oil in my truck, the oil is still black"--Cummins Turbo Diesel "It does not hold more than 5 quarts" from the same person, same Cummins Turbo Diesel

Oil pan full of screws on a mid 80's caprice. Leaking oil all over. I ask the customer to come down and take a look at it. He says"I usually change my own oil, you see, the oil plug is stuck. So I drill a small hole in the oil pan to drain the oil. Then I replace it with a sheet metal screw. They seep a little bit. I brought it to you guys because I've ran out of places to drill a hole and was hoping you could get the oil plug out" Should have taken a picture of that one. I'm really not sure why he didn't reuse the same hole each time, but I didn't ask.

I better quit now, I have way too many stories.