Just a question for all of us fine owners of American pure-blooded ****-kickers...in your travels around, what are some of the craziest (or most pathetic) rice rockets you have ever seen? Ill start the list with some of my top ones-

Mazda MX-3 with loud muffler (stock tip though), gigantic spoiler, and only 3 (yup...3) custom rims...the 4th was stock...and he had stickers on the side that started peeling.

1990 or 1991 Honda Prelude- lowered, racing stripes, system, 12 or 13 inch gold spoke rims...quite gay (only on the back though...the front wheels were stock)

1995 Dodge Neon- body kit, dual exhaust, weirdest exhaust note I ever heard in my life

Everyone post your stories!!!

 

This will probably get locked, but I'll add.

Nissan Stanza- Not sure what year, hunter green with chrome fender trim, shiny hub caps you can get from Track Auto, silver colored, double-bladed windshield wipers, terrible tint on all windows with bubbles in it, wing that was even with the roof, 4 amber fog lights.

I saw it while pulling into a gas station. I revved my engine at him. Then when he wsa leaving, he revved back. It sounded like it was going to fall apart.

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1992 Camaro RS
5.0L TBI
K&N Airfilter and ready to take on the world!
My 1992 RS

 

driving with a friend down in boise and saw a blue civic with a wing larger then the car. I sear it was atleast a foot taller then the car was. he had the ugly clear tail lights and a muffler tip that was large enough to stick my foot in if I wanted to. one of those ppl who I think had the 20HP shot of Type-R sticker on the car.
ugly version of rice.

------------------
Got rotary?

 

Some crazy bright green import. I don't know what it was. It looks like it has some kind of home-made hatchback. He complimented my buddie's 70 LeMans though.

 

Saw a civic Friday afternoon at the gas station that had unpainted ground fx. The front bit stuck out at least a foot and a half more than stock. Theres a few that run around lowered, bodykits, but with stock rims hehe.. stupid or run around with stock rims on the front and fancy ones in the back like they're always ready for a race.

 

Oh man, I saw a bmw(Not sure which kind) but it was really ugly and low. Had stickers on every window and a huge garbage can....no wait the garbage can was his exhaust pipe! Not joking. And it was sparking on the ground when he was driving! And you know how some bmw's have the exhaust pipe that come underneath the middle of the bumper? Right smack in the middle was his sparking fart can. Craziest thing I've seen, or heard....

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1992 RS 3.1L Bone Stock

"Yeah, it's a V6 SO WHAT!?"

 

I see a bunch of crazy ricers. They are slowing starting to get more popular in the Chicago area. Some look kinda cool but most are just freakin weird. The coolest part about all of these cars is how they were running awesome 16.0's all night long at the strip!! I forgot something though. They get 30mpg compared to my 12! And it is all about fuel economy right boys? If only I could run 16.0s and get 30 mpg.

(I hope everyone got the sarcasm of this page.)

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84 Z28 383
Stripped w/Cage back halved w/ladder bars and coil overs and 9 inch
700R-4 3.73

 

Here's two funny ones I saw this weekend.

I saw an older Camry or Corolla with a GMC logo on the front grille.

I was hanging outside a 7-11 and some guy in a Honda said someting about the "tint" on his car. Funny part was, no joke, it looked like Saran wrap! If you looked through the windshield, then through the "tinted" window, you couldn't see a difference!

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86 Sport Coupe, 2.8 V6, dead stock, but not for long!
Coming soon: paint job, new interior, MSD-6A, MSD GM Blaster Coil, MSD 8mm Helicore wires, Catco Hi-Flo cat, Dynomax Cat-Back, K&N Filters

Daily driver:
2000 Pontiac Grand Am SE2

www.geocities.com/camman86

 

Hmm...as far as looks go

-a 1990 4 door accord, lowered on stock wheels, with a Type-R windshield decal, a fart tip on what looked like a stock muffler and a 3-4 ft spoiler on the trunk.
-a late model Celica with a huge spoiler on the back and 2 small ones on the hood with a crappy lowering job..the car was sitting lopsided

As far as 1/4 mile times go
-a basically stock looking Integra pulled a 12.1
-a 1990 Civic hatchback with **** paint that kept right at my buddy's 13 second Mustang's bumper.

------------------
1991 Firebird Formula
305 TPI,Auto,Custom 3" Mandrel bent I-pipe, Flowmaster 80 series muffler, 3" hi-flo cat,Taylor Spiro Wires,Bosch Platinum Plugs, K&N Filter, Grant GT Steering Wheel, 5% Rear tint, Pontiac Windshield Decal, Fresh paint

Check it out https://www.thirdgen.org/rides/index...ew&rideid=1074

 

aqua blue Dodge COLT with huge spoiler out back ,stock rims and a roll cage

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1987 Trans AM GTA
305 5SPD
Hypertech airfoil
gutted maf
kn filter
High Flow Cat,
3"Walker pipe
Dynomax Super turbo Muffler
TB Coolant bypass
Lubricated by Mobil 1 Tri-Synthetic

 

-240SX, Supra front facia, no hood, taillight removed, trailer lights installed in the back window. gross exhaust. We call it the Hoodless Wonder.

-1996 Sunfire, blue euro marker lights on front fenders, custom designed headlight covers(series of small circles), 4"tip, [b]THREE[b] spoilers, the stock one, plus a whale fin over top and a third on top of the hatch window. lowered by cut springs (car is choppy as hell)
neon lights in rear hatch window, neon plate surround, pillar guage pod with boost guage. it's not blown. a "competition stereo" which isn't loud at all.



------------------
WHO NEEDS VTEC? I HAVE VORTEC!

1982 Camaro "VortecZ"
Vortec headed 350 bored .02 over, comp xtreme cam, edelbrock 750 carb, edelbrock performer rpm intake, dynomax 1 5/8" shorty headers, accel ignition, stock TH700r4, powertrax locker, 3.73's

1985 Z28 stock LG4/700r
T-Tops, A/C, soon to be modded.

 

i saw (and raced) this 98? eclipse the other day that had the spoiler the size of an over pass with a matching donkey *um* ear muffler.also had all kind of japaness stickers and type-r, gt-r, badges. i was kind of scaried to race him for a minute thinking that anyone with all that crap must have at least a twin turbo, supercharged , or nitro'ed v6. well then again the only car that might be able to get away with all of that is a blown twin turbo vette! but sure enough he had a a little 4 banger.needless to say i left him at the light leaving him to set and sound like a bee stuck in a box.

i'm afraid this ***** thing is contagious too! i saw a newer chevy cavailer (YES A CAVALIER!!!!) that had a type r sticker on it. come on who are all of these guys trying to fool????

------------------
91 3000GT SL
removed resinator
raised hood scoops
open element
-------------------------
soon to come:
ram air
-------------------------
Car of the past:
1992 3.1 Firebird automatic
-K&N w/custom open element
-B&M Shift kit
-removed tranny mounts
-Flowmaster, no cat
-AC Delco Rapidfires
-Arrest me red paint
-79 "Screaming Chicken" graphics

Pics at:
http://www.geocities.com/aj3000gt/mypage.html

[This message has been edited by 3000GT (edited August 07, 2001).]

 

haha alright your not gonna believe these... the ***** thing is getting a lil outta hand in Jerzey. ok...
1.) An 80's honda accord 4 door with a type R sticker and, get this, a V12 engine sticker on the back trunk. HAHA! V12!? o and he had all the wheel covers off so his wheels were black. pretty nice huh?

2.) I see this car everyday cuz he works with me. A late 80's gray buick lesabre with "powered by honda" seatbelt cushions and a BUICK TYPE R homemade sticker in the back windsheild. haha

There are countless others but those really stick out in my mind. poor riceboys...

 

saw a vw jetta (late 80's?)4 door w/ homemade dual exhaust the other day, twin coffee can tips scraping behind...

 

I saw an early eighties Japanese rustmobile 4-door (I don't know who made it, not worth checking the badges), and the owner had spray-painted the wheels gold. If that isn't bad enough, the fool had ended up covering most of his tires with the paint too. The chix were swooning, as this guy was obviously loaded.

------------------
No guts, no glory.

 

I saw a thirdgen camaro with a big aluminum wing, chrome wiper blades etc..... and the back windshield said TYPE TBI.... lol i almost died it was like Type R, but only TYPE TBI it was the funniest shizang ive seen

 

Don't know if you guys hve seen this but here goes.

That #1 chart topping hit from Vanilla Rice... Rice Rice Baby!

Rice Rice Baby
Rice, Rice, Baby!
Yo, VTEC, lets kick it,
Rice Rice Baby, Rice Rice Baby...
Alright stop - collaborate and listen,
Rice is back with a brand new invention.
Chopped springs, they hug tha road tightly,
6 inch exhaust tip flows really loud nightly.
Will it ever stop, yo,
I don't know,
hit my neon lights and I'll glow.
To tha extreme my car looks like a candle,
and tha paint job - it was done by a vandal.
Dance, I got a speaker that booms,
this aint a car, it's a mobile sound room.
Deadly,
listen to tha melody,
if it was louder yo, it'd be a felony.
Love it or leave it you can't gain way,
with my Type-R sticker I'll lose you any day.
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it, check out
my rims while my front drive revolves it,
Rice Rice Baby, Rice Rice Baby...
Now that my suspension is jumpin',
my bumber hits tha ground, but who cares I'm a thumpin.
Quick to tha point, to tha point no fakin',
cookin' mopeds like a pound of bacon.
Burning 'em, cause I'm quick and nimble,
you can't fade me and my VTEC symbol.
In your souped up GN or 5.0...
I'm on a roll,
I always ride solo.
Rollin', in my 2 point 0,
it runs low 18's, yo, that really ain't slow.
Tha girlies on stand by,
don't even want to say "Hi".
Did ya stop? No, I just flew by.
Kept on, pursuing to tha next block,
I bust a left and I'm headin' to tha next stop.
The block was dead, yo, so I continued to A-1-A,
Detroit Avenue!
Tha girls looked hot wearing less than bikinis, I
saw a few chumps drivin' stock Lamborghinis.
Jealous, cause I'm out drivin' mine,
ready to race 'cuz my Nittos lookin' fine.
If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it,
check out my rims while my front drive revolves it,
Rice Rice Baby, Rice Rice Baby...
Take heed, 'cause I'm a Honda poet,
Akimoto's on tha scene just in case ya didn't know it.
My exhaust tip, created all tha bass sound,
rumbles enough to put holes in tha ground.
'Cause my ride's style is so reeeeeeeeeeeeal, with
an exhaust tone that ya can feeeeeeeel.
4 foot spoiler, it's a helluva concept, my ride is
hype, and you wanna step
WITH THIS.
In my rearview you'll fade,
slice like a Ginsu -sounds like a Kitchen-Aid.
So fast, that all tha V8's say "damn", if rice was
a drug I'd sell it by tha gram.
Keep my composure when the front tire breaks loose,
magnetized by the kick of 30 horse juice.
If there was a problem, yo I'll solve it,
check out my rims while my front drive revolves it,
Rice Rice Baby, Rice Rice Baby...
Yo, we outta here...
E-Brake burnouts to your mother!

 

LOL!!! thats the song alright....we get that krap in all the time at work!!
we spent alot of time stripping the paint off of all th edash panels,etc....stickers gone....chrome tip off in the trash....QUIIET muffler back on....we got a neon in one time.....NEON POWER on the front windshield,STRAIGHTPIPE exhaust...my god it was the krappiest exhaust i ever heared...dont know how to describe it....sounded like a one cylinder motorcyale but krappier,all the springs wee cut in half so it has almost no suspension....krappy UGLY *** rims that rubbed turning,and onle one centercap!!
freakin ricers **** me off....ill have to smoke em with this...REAL CAR ***** IDIOS

 

i have seen a prelude that worked at a local dutch brothers, and i guess he wanted center exhaust really bad cuz he took a hack saw and cut a big *** , uneven square out of the middle of his bumper and put a crappily hung custom muffler where the whole was. lol.

 

Just another addition to the list-

I destroyed a Mitsubishi Mirage the other night (he had rims and a muffler on it, revved his engine..thought he was hot ****)...didnt even get my car past 3000 rpms and he still got destroyed...All-American power, baby >

------------------
305IrocZ28- Al
1990 Iroc-z 305 TPI auto, Flowmaster exhaust, 2 Rockford 10'' Punch woofers w/ 160a2 amp, 2.73 rear (1650 rpms @ 60mph)

 

2 stories......other day going to mc donalds i pull a u-turn later down the road to miss the traffic and this ***** pulls up next to me in the median place....well hes creeping up and revving at me and blocking my veiw with his spoiler......anyways i see a open spot look laugh and fishtail for about 50 feet......he did his ***** fly by as i pulled into mc d's
next one is coming back from mc d's at a stop light i pull up behind this stock intrepid....i get to reading his stickers and low and behold....a type r badge...i laughed my *** off....

------------------
1991 RS LO3

some of my favorite quotes:

I do not blame stupid people for being stupid, what i do blame them for is for not asking smart people for advice. When ever my mom asks for help, i tell her, i'm the one who knows what he's doing, not you, don't question me, just do what i tell you to. if stupid people would just realize they were stupid, and consult a smart person for advice, before they went and did something stupid and got pregnant/got someone pregant, this ****hole of a world would be a lot better. - adam corola

Honda makes great performance cars - any scarcastic comedian

 

Here are some pics of a yellow neon I saw at a weekly car show here...look a Playstation and everything is colored on the interior and engine....thats UGLY!!!!!!!

check out the stickers...and the all mighty engine

 

I don't know about other places, but in Oklahoma all ricers are just all show and no go. One night this guy told me that his bone stock civic could run a 12 second 1/4 mile. I guess all those stickers and gold painted parts on the engine make it go faster. The really funny thing is when they try to race me. I love to blow their doors off in my 91 Camaro RS LO3 305 which happens to have 128K miles on it.

 

yeah i know a teal 1988 honda crx...... it has white 12 spoke momo's with custom centercaps..... he has a rowdy muffler that lets his 1.5 breath. he said the intake/airfilter and muffler were worth about 12.5 hp, and -2 tq. he is taking it to edgewater what do you think he would run.... by the way it is an si (the "fast" ones) also he bought it from a grandma it was her grocery getter..... alright but he has no chinese letters so that is good.

 

Mikes86sc LMAO I can't stop laughing

------------------
1988 Sport Coupe 305 TBI
K&N
Flowmaster exhaust


Daily driver:
1988 K1500 5.7 4x4 shortbed flowmaster cat-back gutted cat.
AOL: RyanNH84

 

Somebody send these to beaterz.com quick!

------------------
Ludicrous Speed GO!!!



Everyone come to the Vicksburg Old Car Show (in Michigan) next year, and hold it up for all the Thirdgen owners out there.
e-mail me for directions, dates, etc.

[This message has been edited by MartyMcFly (edited August 12, 2001).]

 

Ok, so wht's the deal with that yellow neon? It's as if the owner woke up one sunday morning and said:

"I know, I'll paint the air vents in my car bright yellow. Mmmmmm fablon! Infact, while I'm at it I may as well paint the switches and dash panel too. Scrummy!"

 

Ok, pizza delivery boy in an early 90's ford probe with a type-R logo on the door.

Toyota echo with 17 inch rims and mirror tints.

mid 90's accord with a honda logo painted over the WHOLE CAR. "Hey Frank, I wonder if that's a honda?"

and lastly, maybe I'm the stupid one, but I can't see how slapper bars can help an 86 Buick regal with stock suspension in any way.

 

The thing that I saw today makes me sick.
A brand new WS6 Ramair Trans Am with chinese writing along the top of both hoodsoops,chinese writing along the length of both the front winshield and the rear one.
That poor car probably wants to throw itself off a cliff.

 

I hear that robbob. there is a 4th gen here in sprgfld MO that has the bigest shopping cart handle for a spoiler on the back that I've ever seen. Little wheels that stick out and some really ugle short pointed tips. It has yellow trim on stock purple paint and is a v6 to match. I can't wait to put him down. It's only a matter of time 'till he'll answer to the StockBastard!!!

------------------
"Why StockBastard?" you might ask. Well...
84 Berlinetta body w/custom paint.
92 front/rear bumper and ground affects.
89 IROC 350tpi engine w/lots of mods.
87 3.73 possi rear w/disk brakes.
86 interior w/IROC dash.
And finally, stock Vet rims from the early 70s.(same ones used on the 69ss)
ALL IN ONE CAR!!!

 

Check out this site...its funny.

www.riceboypage.com

 

At the car show in windor ont. I saw a eagle talon the looked ok from a distance it was black and had nice stripes. When it got close it had all these stickers on the side near the back like a quarter mile track car. Well it was, it was an high 10 second street legal talon. it pulls up and the guy gets out, he seems like a street rod guy, and he is, only he drives a talon. But as the story goes the car was actually built( but no type R sticker). He had the stock engine bored, new turbo pistons, new forged crank, fully balanced rotating assembly. in the top end he had the stock head ported and polished with new "racing" valves(or so he said), he had a cam, and a huge turbo. And if that is not enough he had a 50 shot of nitrous on top of that. This think was wild, but the best part of all was that he showed me his time slip(from grand bend motorplex) and the build sheet on the engine.(which cost him over 5000 canadian)and that is before the new computer and all the other components.

 

I recently was driving back from NY in my '91 bird, and what comes crawling up from behind but a Subaru 4-door of some sort with some weird looking yellow graphics all over it consisting of stars being followed by speedstreaks, and about four extra yellow "SUBARU" logos in addition to the stock ones. This dolt gets in front of me and then can't hold his speed up the hills, so I go to pass while he's bogging down, and of course, he gets offended. Seemed that he couldn't get his glorified grocery-getter any higher than 95mph while I went screaming down the Interstate at about 110, though. What was funny, was I let the Gooberu go after he refused to quit trying to catch up to me, and shortly thereafter came into FL and took the bypass around Jacksonville. I get thru the bypass and back onto I95, and about 1/2 an hour later who comes slothing up behind me? Yep, the Gooberu, tailgating everyone and trying to do well over 90mph in the construction zones, no less. I'm thinking "Well dummy, if you had any sense to read a map, you'd know you can save time on a bypass that goes around a city's perimeter." Also, his plate said he was from Quebec, guess they've got the ricebug there, too.
At least the dorks in the mid-80's Accord earlier that day knew when to quit when they tried the same shenanigans as this Gooberu did.


------------------
D.R. Stevens
1984 Trans Am 305HO L69
all the usual external/free mods, original engine
1991 Firebird 305 L03
bone-dead-slow-stock

[This message has been edited by eightTfourTA (edited August 13, 2001).]

 

I have to admit, I did consider modifying my 85 CRX, but it turned out to have lots of internal rust and I ditched it for this car... anyhow, here's my experience:

Best looking: 89-92 CRX Dark metalic purple, lowering springs blue foglamps mid-height spoiler, 3" exhaust and 16" wheels... passes me every day on the way home...

Oddest: early 90's eclipse covered in flat grey primer with "under construction" stickers all over.

Craziest (more like sauerkraut though): '01 VW Golf GTI, lowering springs and 4" exhaust, pulled up next to me at stoplight for a single lane road at bottom of hill, took off in front of me (I wasn't racing mind you) and flew over a flat point, bottomed out spitting sparks everywhere and continued up the hill @ 50+ MPH

Most classic: '98 Honda civic bone stock with 5" exhaust tip and stickers from top to bottom... didn't even sound deeper...

Most wannabe rice: mid 90's Ford Thunderbird lowered to about 3" clearance and dual 3" exhaust through bumpers.

Funniest non-rice: Asian student at my college in a white '91 or '92 Mustang with what appeared to be a 427 under hood with 9" wheels and dual 3"(sounded true but could be wrong) exhaust.

------------------
1984 Firebird - Daily driver, 305 LG4, T5 - Hurst short shifter, Edelbrock 600 CFM Performer Carb - Edelbrock Pro-Flow air filter, gutted cat, IROC 16x8 Wheels, Goodyear P215/60/R16, AIWA bargain basement (from Sears of course) CD player, Fuzzy dice, Eight-ball shift ****
Check out my ride here $1600!!

[This message has been edited by ChillPhatCat (edited August 14, 2001).]

 

The worst thing I've ever seen is my friends '97 Eclipse GSX. Picture this, plastic glue on fake carbon fiber shifter **** dash and door panel covers on a tan leather interior. I almost shot him for wrecking a prefectly good car.

Best ***** I've ever seen is my other friend's '92 Talon TSI with a built motor about 20lbs of boost on upgraded turbo, stand alone spark and fuel system, an exhaust system that actually shounds good. He can actually hang with my bird.

Two of the goofiest I've ever seen are two eclipses one that is painted bright green ala TFATF that says SOLAR and one that is dull maroon that says LUNAR. Never apart....

------------------
'89 Red Formula 350- 350 .060 over forged pistons 232* @ .020 cam Performer RPM Holley 750 DP Vortec 1.94 1.50 Accel Coil and dist. Hedman shorty headers Dual Exhaust w/ cutouts 1LE WS6 suspension, wheels, and brakes, 9 Bolt 3.27 Posi Edelbrock LCA's & Track bar subframe connectors 700R4 A&A snorkel scoop Eclipse Head Unit Delco Bose Speakers 2 12" Pioneer subs w/ 400 watt/chanel amp

 

That yellow Neon is an automatic...wonder what kinda stall-converter he's running!

One of the funniest ***** I've seen runs around where I live (Timonium, MD), it's a new 4-door civic that's totally stock but has 3 GIANT vinyl stickers of gauges down the sides....so big that they actually disappear off the car...I'll have to get a pic of it
Another one is a Plymouth Sundance w/ Japanese characters & a huge tip...come on now!
Late model 6-banger stang w/ a big tip facing the ground (almost touches)
My roomie & I call say "race car!" when ever we see a *****...

Serious Rice
'99 Nissan 240-aftermarket intercooled Turbo, 18's & aftermarket posi rear...Bad A**
'97 (I think) V-tec civic w/ a Jackson supercharger & boatload of otherstuff (got to drive it the other weekend...definitley no slouch....


------------------
'91 Z28 1LE; 355, Sportsman II heads, Edelbrock TPI w/ 58mm TB, Tremec TKO 5-speed, 3.73's & much, much more

 

I saw one that almost made me cry the other day. It was a third-gen camaro. It had those gold strips that go on the wheel well, it was lowered, it had these little 14" wheels with too many spokes to count, gold spinners, and on the back it had the Old English letters with the guys last name on it. I wanted to walk inside that restaurant and find that guy.

 

I just wanted to let everyone know that I too have sold out and am now driving a 3000 GT, mitsubishi , ah-soy! not a really fast car,but does move along nicely. I also get much more attention in this car than I did in my Trans Am. which sucks because my T/A had the raw torque to chew up most punks off the line. after replaceing the 3000 GT's dust-caked air filter with the K&N,it showes it's true colors up to 7k RPMs. now before you start bad mouthing my first mod,appreaciate the "american" common sense I used in buying a $35 air filter that will do the same job as those stupid $200 cold air kits that everyone else buys. also that's about the only mod I will do to this car. I can get the turbo kit for $3800,but $3800 into a V8 car will be much more fun. ofcourse I will tinker with the DOHC 3.0 and learn of it's workings. just look at the tq/hp curve on that "400 hp" eclipse,it looks like a freak'n dil-do!! it suddenly rises at like,5000 rpms,and has nothing before that. if I had kept my T/A and put in the LS1 as planned,I would have much more usable power off the line and up to 7k rpms for about a third off what that guy spent. but who cares? to each his own,right?

of course I still respect any "real" car,like my T/A which was nice before it got stolen and messed up.

 

Why did you sell your t/a?

------------------
1988 Jet Black IROC
5.7L W/ 64000 miles
Flowmaster Exhaust
Fully Loaded
------------------

My IROC