Ok. this is really starting to **** me off. No matter what, my car (with ESC unhooked) will rev to about 1500 then itll load up (backfire and shake) like its retarding the timing. Right now I cant hook up the ESC because it wont even idle (itll start to fart and then die).

What if I were to just take off the coil and normal dizzy and replace it with a standard HEI (like this http://www.performancepartscanada.co...es/59107C.jpeg )

Would that work or is this a horrible idea?

 

I imagine it would work.

But then you start messing up other things...

Like if it detonates and the computers trying to pull some timing and nothing happens. I imagine the computer could get a bit hairy...

 

That's vacuum advance distributor, and no it will not work on TPI. Its only for carbs without computers. You need an '88+ EFI distributor for either a TPI or TBI engine.
As for your problem, it sounds like a bad ignition module, bad pickup coil, or the spark plug wires are on wrong, or some other wires are open or shorted.