Well, today, an old lady yelled at me for parking in front of her house, claiming to be racing my engine, blah blah...i dont race my engine in front of other people's houses...the engine when its cold, runs its RPM's high and low and high and low until it warms up a bit. The reason i parked in front of her house is beacause where i used to park, there is a tree and the birds always sh*t on my car, and i am sick of cleaning it..especially after i wash it. This old senile woman doesnt have a car, much less drives. So never is there a car in front of her house. But, out of respect, i moved back to my old spot. The only other defense i can think of is to buy a car cover for this purpose. What brand is good, and where can i get one? Its either me with a .22 perched on my roof picking birds off the tree, or a car cover I dont want to spend too much $$. I also need something thats water-proof. Thanks.

------------------
1986 WS6-Equipped 5.0 TPI Trans Am
Random Tech High-Flow Cat
Two Chamber Flowmaster Muffler
Megs Custom 4.5" Stainless Steel Rolled Tips
1999 Grand Am GT In-Dash CD Player w/Equalizer(fits like '86 original)
5% Tint On Rear, 35% On Sides
http://www.pitt.edu/~zyhst/trans86/

OTHER RIDE:
1998 C5 6Spd. Corvette Coupe
Silver w/Gray Leather Int.
12/14 Options
Stock(for now)
Best 1/4th: 13.5 @ 104.4MPH

 

check around at an auto store they usually have one that'll do the trick, or try www.calcarcover.com they have tons of 'em. Oh, and I wouldn't recommend the .22, then you'd have the birds themselves falling on the car

 

LOL 86RICHIE...thanks man....you're so right...I didnt even think of that I suppose if i go with the .22, I'd have to get a net over the car to catch the birds that fall off the tree...ahh, too much work Or....if i used a 12-gauge, they would just disintegrate...but, too much noise for the neighbors I already had one complaint about my car exhaust. I'll just get that cover. Heheh. Thanks again.

------------------
1986 WS6-Equipped 5.0 TPI Trans Am
Random Tech High-Flow Cat
Two Chamber Flowmaster Muffler
Megs Custom 4.5" Stainless Steel Rolled Tips
1999 Grand Am GT In-Dash CD Player w/Equalizer(fits like '86 original)
5% Tint On Rear, 35% On Sides
http://www.pitt.edu/~zyhst/trans86/

OTHER RIDE:
1998 C5 6Spd. Corvette Coupe
Silver w/Gray Leather Int.
12/14 Options
Stock(for now)
Best 1/4th: 13.5 @ 104.4MPH

[This message has been edited by PhantomTPI (edited May 09, 2001).]

 

hey the car cover doesnt do the trick unless you buy a really expensive one. i bought one for like $40 and i still got residue from the bird crap on my car. and this is toxic residue that eats through your paint that i am talking about! so do what you want. i personally would just go and talk to the old lady, she probably wont mind, if you explain to her how much you love your car and that your cars engine is idling a little high. old people realize what cars and stuff are worth to the owner, why do you think most old peoples cars look nice, if you work hard for your money dont waste it. so keep your car looking nice they say! so just go talk to her!

------------------
Jarrad
1990 IROC-Z L98 350 TPI
TH-700R4
G92- 9 Bolt Borg-Warner 3.27gears
Bright Red Hardtop/ Grey Custom Interior

mods: AFPR, B&M megashifter-HD4ft cable, Underdrive Pulleys, Ported plenum, K&N's, Magnaflow muffler, Aluminum Driveshaft, Gutted Air Boxes w/ Ram Air, and more!!
soon to have new PAINT, and suspension work

DAILY DRIVER: 1991 S10 2.5L/5SPD -

 

WAL-MART!!, I am using one b/c of the blown engine and the IROC just sits there. So far nothing has reached the car.

 

Get the .22 pretend to aim at the bird..miss hit the annoying neighbor..return .22, when you come back home from returning .22 park in front of old neighbor's house

 

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!! WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT??? HAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAA....thats too damn hilarious!! LMAO

------------------
1986 WS6-Equipped 5.0 TPI Trans Am
Random Tech High-Flow Cat
Two Chamber Flowmaster Muffler
Megs Custom 4.5" Stainless Steel Rolled Tips
1999 Grand Am GT In-Dash CD Player w/Equalizer(fits like '86 original)
5% Tint On Rear, 35% On Sides
http://www.pitt.edu/~zyhst/trans86/

OTHER RIDE:
1998 C5 6Spd. Corvette Coupe
Silver w/Gray Leather Int.
12/14 Options
Stock(for now)
Best 1/4th: 13.5 @ 104.4MPH

 

Actually a .22 cal air rifle would be quite quiet and probably a relaxing hobby after a long day of work. Then get the car cover anyway to protect the car from the crap and greasy-feathered corpses. Best of both worlds.

By the way, is your car red? Red seems to attract birdsht a lot more than other colors...

 

I read that birds actually **** intentionally on shiny objects no matter the color. It hurts their eyes. The only problem I'd have w/ a car cover is that I'd eventually get tired of taking it off and putting it back on......plus bird ****'s gonna land on IT, then it just gets nasty.

 

Yeah, I have a red 1972 Pontiac LeMans and birds like to sh*t on it right after I clean it up, same with tree sap.

------------------
1991 Chevy truck 5.7 engine
Competition Cam 454 lift
Edelbrock Valve Springs
Holley Red Electric Fuel Pump
Eldelbrock Performer RPM Intake
Holley 750 Double Pumper
68 jets front 74 jets rear
Turbo 350 transmission
B&M shift kit
Custom drive shaft
3.73 Rear end
Flowmaster exhaust
No emissions or computer
Grant steering wheel
http://www.fbody.com/members/Camrs89/

 

My car is silver with gray ground effects(see website in sig). But parking under a tree is just asking for it. Especially after i cleaned it. The car is a daily driver, and i just washed/waxed it for the first time since december...so i parked where i used to. The next day, what is on my car? Lo and behold, the birds seemed to have a sh*tting contest to see how accurate they were. Yea, i was pissed

------------------
1986 WS6-Equipped 5.0 TPI Trans Am
Random Tech High-Flow Cat
Two Chamber Flowmaster Muffler
Megs Custom 4.5" Stainless Steel Rolled Tips
1999 Grand Am GT In-Dash CD Player w/Equalizer(fits like '86 original)
5% Tint On Rear, 35% On Sides
http://www.pitt.edu/~zyhst/trans86/

OTHER RIDE:
1998 C5 6Spd. Corvette Coupe
Silver w/Gray Leather Int.
12/14 Options
Stock(for now)
Best 1/4th: 13.5 @ 104.4MPH

 

Air rifle is a good idea too..nice and quiet What about this: drenching the tree in gasolene, and then when the birds come, "accdientaly" dropping a match? FWOOOOP! Problem solved. But anyway, My landlord decided to be nice, and moved one of his cars that he doesnt care about because its old into my spot, and gave me his spot that has NO trees around it. I didnt ask for this, he offered it. I feel kinda bad though, but it solves the problem.

------------------
1986 WS6-Equipped 5.0 TPI Trans Am
Random Tech High-Flow Cat
Two Chamber Flowmaster Muffler
Megs Custom 4.5" Stainless Steel Rolled Tips
1999 Grand Am GT In-Dash CD Player w/Equalizer(fits like '86 original)
5% Tint On Rear, 35% On Sides
http://www.pitt.edu/~zyhst/trans86/

OTHER RIDE:
1998 C5 6Spd. Corvette Coupe
Silver w/Gray Leather Int.
12/14 Options
Stock(for now)
Best 1/4th: 13.5 @ 104.4MPH

 

Actually, the car covers that you see in Wal-Mart or an auto store are not water proof. They are only water repellant. Which means, after you wash it, the repellant is washed off and it then becomes a dust cover. The only car cover I have seen advertise as being water proof is Dura-Vent. I bought one and like it. I bought it from Worldwide Camaro Club while they were promoting them for $99. If enough people want them, they might lower the price to $99 again from $149 now. Here is Duravents sales pitch...

THE ULTIMATE WATERPROOF CAR COVER
Made from the patented revolutionary 3-layer fabric. Microporous technology allows moisture and condensation to evaporate through fabric while maintaining true breathability and UV protection. Helps prevent mold, mildew and ice build-up on painted or other protected surfaces. Other fabrics are water resistant; Dura/Vent is waterproof even during heavy downpours or driving rain. Lifetime warranty. Available for all Chevys

------------------
87 IROC 350 TPI with less than 10k original miles
www.users.uswest.net/~smoyer/iroc.htm
Northstar Camaro Club of Minnesota

 

Thanks Scott...i will have to look into that company...i do want something water-PROOF, not just resistant...the car sits outside usually. Thanks again.

------------------
1986 WS6-Equipped 5.0 TPI Trans Am
Random Tech High-Flow Cat
Two Chamber Flowmaster Muffler
Megs Custom 4.5" Stainless Steel Rolled Tips
1999 Grand Am GT In-Dash CD Player w/Equalizer(fits like '86 original)
5% Tint On Rear, 35% On Sides
http://www.pitt.edu/~zyhst/trans86/

OTHER RIDE:
1998 C5 6Spd. Corvette Coupe
Silver w/Gray Leather Int.
12/14 Options
Stock(for now)
Best 1/4th: 13.5 @ 104.4MPH

 

How about YOU take a crap on the bird's tree ( see how the birds move to another house cause they cant stand what you did )or crap in front of the lady's house ( dont see the point in that but I guess its payback somehow )

Anyways I agree with rare-roc-z go talk to her, old people usually like younger people to ask for things, it makes them feel like they still make a difference.

 

LOLOLOL!! Taking a crap in the BIRD's tree!! HAAHAAAAAAAAAA....its payback to the birds....do taht on THEIR turf...i just dont want to end up a victim afterwards like in the moive "The Birds", ya know? Anyway, talking to this old lady wont help. My landlord knows her and verified this. She had problems with the people moving in next door because she didnt want anyone living there. She is senile. I am fine where i am parking now, and if it comes to it, i'll just need a car cover. Thanks again!

------------------
1986 WS6-Equipped 5.0 TPI Trans Am
Random Tech High-Flow Cat
Two Chamber Flowmaster Muffler
Megs Custom 4.5" Stainless Steel Rolled Tips
1999 Grand Am GT In-Dash CD Player w/Equalizer(fits like '86 original)
5% Tint On Rear, 35% On Sides
http://www.pitt.edu/~zyhst/trans86/

OTHER RIDE:
1998 C5 6Spd. Corvette Coupe
Silver w/Gray Leather Int.
12/14 Options
Stock(for now)
Best 1/4th: 13.5 @ 104.4MPH

 

hehehehe, get a gun to shoot sh|t back at them!!!! then, when the old lady goes to get her mail, launch some infront of her feet, perhaps a broken hip. but hey, seeing an old lady fall into a pile, in a morbid way would be kinda funny.

oh, if that dont werk, take their heads put em in sticks on the tree and see if tha other fig it out....

------------------
91 FireBird 305 V-8
no true mods,
ghetto rigged cold air intake,
"My G/f Once Wanted To Break Up Because Of Competition With The Car."
GheTTo Riggers INC.
We Make Mcgyver look Like Crap

 

I heard that birds only look for things that are shiny... but they cant see white... which may b a reason y i dont get as much **** on my car as others.. but ... dammit i still get alot!!

------------------
91 3.1 RS.
T-Tops
12" tube in the "trunk" (That hole they call a trunk anyways)
16x8" ROH Rims
Firehawks all Around
New BOSCH plugs and wires.

Itchin for a SLP Cold Air and new catback.
Dynomax or American Thunder... dunno yet.. suggestions?

 

Two words. Alka Seltzer. How do you spell that anyway? You get the idea though.

 

what does alka sletzier do


I think (maybe alka sletzier has the same effect) you should take uncooked rice and toss some in there nest and when the eat it there litte stomachs will make the rice expand and eventually they will explode. there stomachs will anyways

 

No need for the .22 or the old lady:

Get a chainsaw. Cut the tree down.

 

i was pretty impressed with one bird that crapped on my car once. it managed to land it on the mid part of my door, right under the little door guard part. didnt touch a bit of the rubber. i was actually impressed. if it was my vette i woulld been sittin outside with the CO2 air gun and my air rifle pickin em off. every damn one within 200ft. i think id get the flat pellets, what do you think?

hehe just thought! get the chainsaw and chop down the old lady!!

------------------
1979 L-82 Beefed up Corvette. Bright-orange with orange pearl.
end of summer: NOS!! im thinkin 250 shot. (already have a full race engine.)
god i love this car.

1985 WS6 Trans AM T-tops
bone stock sloth of an engine on its last leg(LG4 w/ 172,000mi)
T-5 tranny. thank god, i couldnt stand an LG4 auto.
Plans for an LT-1,
dual flowmaster exaust,
& a pounding stereo.
but its gotta wait for my Vette to be a badarse before it will be.

[This message has been edited by 85ws6TA (edited May 16, 2001).]

 

The rice should work too. I've never had a need, or should I say chance, but to quote the Great Cornholio "Polly want an alkaseltzer?"

As far as the pellets go, get the pointed ones, they are made for birds, dogs, old people.

If you use the chainsaw, just make sure the old lady just happens to be standing under it when it goes down. Maybe some sort of trap involving tupperware or fixodent or something like that.

 

The rice should work too. I've never had a need, or should I say chance, but to quote the Great Cornholio "Polly want an alkaseltzer?"

As far as the pellets go, get the pointed ones, they are made for birds, dogs, old people.

If you use the chainsaw, just make sure the old lady just happens to be standing under it when it goes down. Maybe some sort of trap involving tupperware or fixodent or something like that.

Just FYI you could use a 22, but you need the bullets which are subsonic, or don't break the sound barrier. They sound kind of like a high powered air rifle. Not loud at all.

 

I do not believe how far this has gone... Hehehehe...I'm lovin' it! Everything from chainsaws to alka seltzer to rice! I think i might just burn the tree down. That way, they have no place to sit. But then again, the smell would annoy the neighbors. Maybe a .22 with a silencer?? A flame thrower would be nice...you dont hear anyone using one of those for anything...time to be a bit original

------------------
1986 WS6-Equipped 5.0 TPI Trans Am
Random Tech High-Flow Cat
Two Chamber Flowmaster Muffler
Megs Custom 4.5" Stainless Steel Rolled Tips
1999 Grand Am GT In-Dash CD Player w/Equalizer(fits like '86 original)
5% Tint On Rear, 35% On Sides
http://www.pitt.edu/~zyhst/trans86/

OTHER RIDE:
1998 C5 6Spd. Corvette Coupe
Silver w/Gray Leather Int.
12/14 Options
Stock(for now)
Best 1/4th: 13.5 @ 104.4MPH

 

I think the birds think my green 97 formula is grass they hardly ever **** on my black GTA and the funny thing is that the black gta sits closer to the tree than the formula does and I drive the formula so it's never there. I guess they like to get me while I am there. sorry just had to note a strange observation.

------------------
97 formula w/6speed,cags skipshift eleminator, hurst billet pro shifter, 30#injectors,adjustiable fuel presure regulator,Moroso cold air induction,ported mass air sensor,accell300+ ignition box, accell 9000 wires, bosch platnum4 plugs,flomaster crossflow muffler,Lingenfiter 52mm throttle body,TPIS L98 SuperProfile cam,Crane 1:6 full roller rockers,Edelbrock subframe connectors,Edelbrock strut tower brace.

Other car is a 89 GTA w/700r4w/stage 2 shift kit, corvette servo, B&M mega shifter, TPIS bigmouth intake, TPIS large tube runners, TPIS 52mm throttle body,Edelbrock ported centerbolt heads,LT1 24# injectors,GMPP LT4 hotcam,CompCams Pro magnum roller rockers,Edelbrock headers, flowmaster crossflow muffler,MSD 6A, accell coil, bosch platnum plugs, this car is currently under rebuild and restoration.

 

Might have something to do with the lightness/darkness of the paint. Someone posted on here about birds liking to s**t on shiny objects...dunno tho..strange, i agree.

------------------
1986 WS6-Equipped 5.0 TPI Trans Am
Random Tech High-Flow Cat
Two Chamber Flowmaster Muffler
Megs Custom 4.5" Stainless Steel Rolled Tips
1999 Grand Am GT In-Dash CD Player w/Equalizer(fits like '86 original)
5% Tint On Rear, 35% On Sides
http://www.pitt.edu/~zyhst/trans86/

OTHER RIDE:
1998 C5 6Spd. Corvette Coupe
Silver w/Gray Leather Int.
12/14 Options
Stock(for now)
Best 1/4th: 13.5 @ 104.4MPH

 

HEY! really stupid idea, but worth a try... go buy a 12" X 12" mirror and park the car under the tree one day with the mirror on the hood. if they crap on the mirror the theroy is prooven. and itd be easier to clean up. remeber to wear glove tho

------------------
1979 L-82 Beefed up Corvette. Bright-orange with orange pearl.
end of summer: NOS!! im thinkin 250 shot. (already have a full race engine.)
god i love this car.

1985 WS6 Trans AM T-tops
bone stock sloth of an engine on its last leg(LG4 w/ 172,000mi)
T-5 tranny. thank god, i couldnt stand an LG4 auto.
Plans for an LT-1,
dual flowmaster exaust,
& a pounding stereo.
but its gotta wait for my Vette to be a badarse before it will be.

 

I say get car cover. You get rid of a few birds and more come. It's a never ending battle. Squirls eating your fruit off your tree's is another story. Damn ****ers took peaches off my tree, took 2 bites and dropped them because they were too heavy. !!!!
Get a cover and one night wake up the hag with your exhaust!

------------------
, Jon (350 TBI!)
91 Red My website

 

LOL...i like the mirror idea...i should try that with my gf's full-length mirror. As for that old hag, JP, I am surprized she isnt deaf yet...my exhaust IS loud...try to have a normal conversation inside with the windows up...its hard. I can only imagine what goes on outside...but alas, THAT is the beauty of it I should park it in her driveway one night, and at 3:30am, rev it to 4500 RPM...and then spin 'em right there on her front lawn! Too evil? Ehhh......maybe...

The cover is the best idea...since, i cant really do what i really want to(i.e. .22 rife w/silencer, flame thrower, burning tree down, screaming obsceneties, and sniper shooting)...

------------------
1986 WS6-Equipped 5.0 TPI Trans Am
Random Tech High-Flow Cat
Two Chamber Flowmaster Muffler
Megs Custom 4.5" Stainless Steel Rolled Tips
1999 Grand Am GT In-Dash CD Player w/Equalizer(fits like '86 original)
5% Tint On Rear, 35% On Sides
http://www.pitt.edu/~zyhst/trans86/

OTHER RIDE:
1998 C5 6Spd. Corvette Coupe
Silver w/Gray Leather Int.
12/14 Options
Stock(for now)
Best 1/4th: 13.5 @ 104.4MPH

 

Time to put a cat up in the tree.. it can't get down, so it'll just eat the birds... when more birds take their place, it'll eat those too... you're happy, the cat's really happy, the old lady's lawn is a good place for the half-eaten bird carcasses.


------------------
-Tom P (Hot rodded 1986 Firebird 2.8l) from http://www.f-body.net/mailbag/3rd/3rd_mailbag.html message boards
---Think your car could be pic of the week? Visit http://www.f-body.net for details!

 

I REALLY REALLY like the cat idea.... One problem...now the CAT will s**t all over my car...

Maybe i can stick a dog up there...cat eats birds, dog eats cat...wait-...damn...now its dogs**t on the car...hmmm....is there ANY animal that doesnt s**t?? LOLOL

Depending on how many animals I put up there, I think the tree will eventually give out, and fall over.

------------------
1986 WS6-Equipped 5.0 TPI Trans Am
Random Tech High-Flow Cat
Two Chamber Flowmaster Muffler
Megs Custom 4.5" Stainless Steel Rolled Tips
1999 Grand Am GT In-Dash CD Player w/Equalizer(fits like '86 original)
5% Tint On Rear, 35% On Sides
http://www.pitt.edu/~zyhst/trans86/

OTHER RIDE:
1998 C5 6Spd. Corvette Coupe
Silver w/Gray Leather Int.
12/14 Options
Stock(for now)
Best 1/4th: 13.5 @ 104.4MPH

[This message has been edited by PhantomTPI (edited May 18, 2001).]

 

In my car-owning carrer, and I had some 30 or so cars, since I was a was a teen, I often wondered why birds **** on cars.
Make no mistake! There is a method to their madness.They FU@KING aim for it!!! I noticed that they like dark/light Blue and not that much Red. Gray(silver),Black and Brown are 50/50.They seems to by-pass Champagne/Gold and Yellow, somewhat.
These are ofcourse my private observations, only. In no way are these backed-up by the scientific method. I wonder if there's an actual study done on this phenomina.
Forget the .22. I'm not sure if you meant .22 Long Rifle cartrige or an air gun. As a firearms aficionado I hope you meant the former not the later.
Anyway, get a good double barrel w/a choke. Set the choke for wide pattern and use bird-shot. You can take out 3-6 birds at a time, if they are just chillin'in the tree.
Just shoot once an hour and no more. One loud shot is "exhaust backfire". Two is "gunplay". LOL


------------------

1990 Formula
Factory:TPI-305/Dual Cat(230hp),5 Speed,3.42 rear, Dealer:Aluminum Drive Shaft
Mods:SLP air foil,K&N Filter, Accel:wires,coil cap,rotor.Hypertech Thermomaster chip,Stat,Fan switch,TES headers,MSD6AL,AFPR(46), Harwood fiberglass hood,original GM "Notchback GTA" hatch.
Flowmaster 3" Cat-back exhaust,TB coolant bypass, Centerforce dual friction clutch.
DIRECT LINK TO PICS OF MY CAR. NO WEB-PAGE. http://community-2.webtv.net/MZavraz...A90/page9.html

[This message has been edited by PONTIMANIAC 90 (edited May 18, 2001).]

 

Pontimaniac....

LOL...i admire your style, bud. And i was referring to a .22 Long Rifle, not a toy like a .22 air gun from walmart. One of my interests lie in firearms also, and have since i was a kid....ah, the days of a nice, single shot air rifle that didnt disturb the neighbors in my New Jersey suburb(where i am originally from).

------------------
1986 WS6-Equipped 5.0 TPI Trans Am
Random Tech High-Flow Cat
Two Chamber Flowmaster Muffler
Megs Custom 4.5" Stainless Steel Rolled Tips
1999 Grand Am GT In-Dash CD Player w/Equalizer(fits like '86 original)
5% Tint On Rear, 35% On Sides
http://www.pitt.edu/~zyhst/trans86/

OTHER RIDE:
1998 C5 6Spd. Corvette Coupe
Silver w/Gray Leather Int.
12/14 Options
Stock(for now)
Best 1/4th: 13.5 @ 104.4MPH

 

whut if the bird pukes up or sh|ts out all his intestines and stuff, then lands right on your car, I'mma have 2 say that's a bad idea. And having a silencer for a weapon is life in jail, so I guess you'll hafta be real carefull the cops don't come... prolly another bad idea. And the cat prolly wouldn't sh|t on your car, but they do like to lay on or under them, so you either get pawprints all over it or dead cat on your tire.

I know how ya feel I had 2 start parking in the street cause my car was literally covered in birdsh|t after not washing it for 2 days when it was in my driveway, then some punk stole one (THAT'S RIGHT JUST 1!!) of my tailight covers (musta been hard to get off with all that double sided tape I used) Maybe I need a .22 also

 

What? It's life in prison to own a silencer? For all guns? Oh, S*it...

 

thats what I heard from several convicted felons, I was talking about getting a silencer for a 9mm and they said if I got caught I'd better hope they let me out in 25 years cause it would get me me life in prison.

 

Really, I heard that if you take some old CDs (like the ones AOL send you in the mail) and drill a little bitty hole and use 25# fishing line to tie it in the tree somewhere, the birds hate it. I tried it and it actually worked. I'm happy. Ironically the day after I heard about this, I got one of those AOL CDs in the mail. I climbed the tree and voila. Presto-chango. Maybe if your lucky, the reflection will **** off that old bag too. Maybe blind her, as if she isn't already. Or maybe tell her to take out her hearing aid!!!! LOL!!!

 

the .22 will be to loud try a .177 cal air rifle. www.southsummit.com has some nice ones.