A while ago I realized my car is basically drinking oil. A lot. A couple weeks after my oil change I was low. Then I looked at my rear bumper and saw everything coated in a noticeable layer of oil. I do mean everything- Bumper, licence plate, tail lights... I don't know what it could be other than a blown rear main. Anyone have any insight?

 

...oil on the OUTSIDE of your rear bumper? Something either exploded BIG TIME or someone threw oil on your car.

 

That's what I would think if it didnt come back when I wiped it off... And I really can't sell or trade it with that large of a leak.

 

And yes oil on the OUTSIDE. None in the car. Just covering my rear bumper.

 

Yup, pretty typical. (although actually, if you took the bumper off, you'd probably find it on the inside as well; since everything that is in the air up under the car, including leaked oil, passes that way as the car goes by)

Most likely not the rear seal.

A better idea, before just jumping to the most expensive and painful conclusion possible, is to LOOK AT IT and see where it's coming from.

Not a lot of rocket science, really.

If it's REALLY all caked up with the funk up under there, take it to the quarter car wash first, and STERILIZE it; then it'll be a piece o cake to see where new oil is.

 

I had the same problem and it ended up being my valve seals. Mine wasn't going through it as fast as you but I had to add oil every once in a while.

 

had that happen to a pick-up a had tail covered in oil Was the oil pan gasket

 

could be as simple as a valve cover gasket that is bad. Clean the engine.