rockfourone

thats ford quality


personally, i couldnt see the logic in a $1500 tranny rebuild on a $1200 car. maybe tauruses (tauri, whatever) are worth more over where you live. lol oh well. my dad wanted to keep it for his winter beater so he picked up the bill and its pretty much his car now.

btw- not to give ford any credit, but we had a 92 taurus that we bought in alaska, drove through 3 -80* winters, then drove for 3 salty years in hawaii. ran great with almost 300,000miles on it when we sold it. but damn that beast must have gone through at least 6 power steering pumps.

my dads first car, a 1928 ford model A still runs great today with no rebuild whatsoever on an original engine. drove it every day to my girlfriends house last summer. she loved it. lol burns a little oil now and then.....

MrDude_1

ok i got a few.

today.... i was at the office on time, but my boss was late... so i waited outside a few mins..... when he arrives, he puts his hood up and looks around under there.... i walk up and ask whats wrong? he said that he just got it back from getting a new timing belt installed and that he things they screwed the timing all up......
eventually i figured out he was upset because his accessory belt was slipping slightly... i just let it go.


my own stupidity:

working at advance auto... you gotta understand its the end of the day... im dead tired.... the phone rings and as its ringing, i watch the digital clock click to closing time. manager looks at me and just says, pick it up anyway..... some dude asked me for piston rings for a RX7... i got as far as trying to bring it up on the computer..... then i told them to **** off and hung up. 3 seconds later my managers cell phone rings.
tip: dont tell the regional manager to **** off when hes playing a joke.


FWD burnouts...... for about a year, i had a VR6 2000 Jetta. manual tranny, every option, very nice car for roadtrips and hauling your friends around.. well.. i was hauling several of my friends around one day.... we were messing around with lil r!ce burners all day.... you guys just dont know how fun it is to have 4 people in your dead stock(except for a 50shot that i wasnt using) V6 fwd that looks so slow..... and whomp the crap outta imports...

anyhoo..i cruise up next to one going down the road...i drop my clutch HARD, start to go... he doesnt bite.... so i rev again... he doesnt bite... then i go to rev again and he suddenly goes... no prob, i pop off the clutch and floor it ( btw, it has a elec operated throttle. so the computer decides how large to open it, not my foot)... the car jerks then i "feel" a movement up front... not in a good way

i can feel it every time i accel or decel... it feels like the engines rocking back and forth.... no prob, i know that the for/aft mount on Veedubs go out alot.... the next day, i take it to the dealer.. they see it move, "yup thats the prob.. we cant get to it now though" and they set me up for a appointment a week later.

one week and 3 days from then i was going on a road trip to las vegas (from the coast of south carolina).

well i drop off the car, they give me a ride to work.... end of the day i go to pick it up, and i literally walk into the garage and see about 5 people standing under my car looking up at it.

this is what they see:

http://josh.swoca.net/board/mrdude/jettabreak1.jpg
http://josh.swoca.net/board/mrdude/jettabreak2.jpg
http://josh.swoca.net/board/mrdude/jettabreak3.jpg

damn. huh?

the service manager just called abuse and wouldnt cover it... (afterall it did need a new case and it kinda was abuse) i guess im just used to good old american iron.. it doesnt break cases as easily as germans... hehe.

anyhoo, i wasnt a dick, and niether was he so we came to a agreement... since that was a clean break and was just 2 pieces, i would find someone to TIG weld it back together, and he would overlook it when i brought it into the shop from then on.
i did learn that even without the ebrake, a VR6 can spin the fronts for 3 blocks with 2 nice thick black tiremarks.
i also decided that if you find that you can crack the transaxle case of a car that easily, you should sell the car. some person is driving a nice, green VW jetta with a welded mount that i put 40k on in 8 months... i changed the oil in that car every 10k... kinda long, but i was putting the miles on fast and to be honest... i didnt give a ****... i wasnt keeping that car forever


another one

my mom got a toyota corolla.. POS base one.. she NEEEDED a car then... it broke somthing with the valvetrain in a cyl.... she kept driving it anyway... in anycase the car still ran forever and ever and ever on 3 cyls.... my brother got worried about the fact that it could be dumping raw fuel into the cat...then the cat would get too hot and burn down the car, so he pulled the plug for that injector, stuck a noid light on it, and its now run that way for about 2 years.



another one...

damn, its almost 4:30... ill post the whole thing from home... (im at work)

ive got tons..... all i need is somthing to remind me of one...


ooh, good one real quick... look at my avatar.... yea, some dude said that.

dans82bird

I learned this one the hard way the other day.... when your setting the cams on a Caddy Northstar 4.6 use the tool that spreads the cam chain tensioners, otherwise you will have to drop the motor out AGAIN, pull the timing cover and reset the damn thing, talk about a pita.

oh and if your putting on a new water pump pulley don't forget to tighten the bolts all the way... get outta the parking lot and bam... loud screeching noise... pulley popped off in the middle of the road

M84Z28

I had an idiot aquantence at school and we would always street race sometimes after school. So he has a 4 cylinder celica and what not and we race and i beat him and he complains he was only running on three cylinder cause he has a broken tierod.

dans82bird

RJR99SS

i'm not sure if i've posted this story on this site before, or even on this thread but i'll go for it because i love this story.

I was hanging around the auto garage at our school when a nice 79 vette pulled in. The guy gets out and starts explaining that he's having a lot of trouble with the brakes, so he asks if i knew anything about it. I know c3 vettes have problems with the odd stainless steel calipers, so i said i could take a look. I put the vette on a lift, took a wheel off, and this guy starts talking abuot everything he's done to fix the problem. Of the many thing he mentions he said he "greased" the brakes. I assumed he meant that he greased the slide bushing, which is smart.

But then i notice that the bleeder screw has grease all over it. I ask him if thats what he was greasing. "Yeah, i grease those grease fitting there a LOT of times, hasnt helped anything. Even seems to get worse after i do it".

I ask him if he opened the screw up, and then greased them. He looks at me indignantly "of course i did, i'm not stupid. You have to put the grease fitting on it, then open it up and grase it. If you dont all the old fluid grease will come out".

I explained to him that those werent grease fittings, those were bleeder screws used to bleed air out of the lines. He argued with me about it for a little bit and asked how long ive been going to the school, i said two years and he said "You better get your money back then". I got upset and just walked out, not saying a word to him. I left the vette on the lift. I came back an hour later and somehow he got it off.

I really felt like finding that guys vette and printing up posters with pictures of that vette saying "if you see this vette, RUN! He cant stop!"

bigals87z28

im speechless....







































ok now im not... YOUR FRIEND IS A DUMBA$$!!!

Man, I remember all the stuff when i worked at strauss. Hahah piston rings for a RX7. Good one, ill have to remember that. Our company used to hire a seperate group to monitor our "phone manners" so we dont sound like goofs on the phone. We had to be all prompt and so... after a while we just made a joke out of it. Always muffler bearings, blinker fluid, and cooling parts for a 68 bug.

sqzbox

That ain't nothing! My sister spent 2hrs. putting 2 qts. of oil down her dip-stick tube!

likeistoleit

A friend of mine has a 2003 Ram which had around 4500 miles on it. One day on startup I noticed it puffed a little bit. After about a month it was sending a large cloud of smoke out upon startup. So he takes it down to his neighborhood Dodge dealer for a warranty claim. About an hour later the phone rings and the mech says they will not honor his warranty cause he has a cold air induction on it, but being the nice guy he is if we put the stock airbox back on they will do the warranty work. Meanwhile Im thinking so because he has this shiny chrome tube with a K&N attached to the end instead of the plastic tube and a paper air filter they wont warranty it, right. So I go down to the dealer with him to talk to the guy, my first question is what is wrong with it? "Well the cold air tube caused turbulence in the combustion chamber which in turn caused fuel to splash on the cylinder walls causing the rings to wear prematurely. Withholding my laughter I ask the guy what they are going to do to fix it, he says "replace the engine". Now this is fine with my buddy but I cannot believe this idiot, so I inquire "so you dont think it is the valve seals, they guy looks at me like I just beamed in from the starship enterprise and replies, "no I put it on the scanner and can see the fuel splash", I can no longer hold my laughter and the guy gets pissed at me, so one of the other mechs comes over and asks if he can help me, I tell him whats going on and immediately he says " it sounds like bad valve seals". Well it ends up two of the valve seals ended up in the oil pan so they replaced them under warranty. I am really hoping the first guy was just a janitor or a salesman.

Air_Adam

I had some dolt at school say this when I was ripping apart my 305:

HIM "you know thats not a Chevy engine, right?"

ME "huh? Yea it is... it came out of my Camaro..."

HIM "nope, thats a Ford engine. Chevy engines have the cylinders pointing up, not down like a Ford"



(BTW, the engine was upside down on the stand because i was pulling the crank out)

sqzbox

I believe you missed the joke completely! My man!

RJR99SS

what kind of dealership has the mechanics talking to customers...?

Usually you talk to the sevice reps about that, they're the ones who decide whether things get warrentied or not.

sqzbox

I used to work in a dealership, and you know what? Most of what a sev. rep. knows, he heard from a mechanic! Wahla! The only dirt on their hands might be from helping a mech push a car into the garage! The mech. tells the rep what's wrong and the rep has to figure if it's warrentied or not. When the customer backs them into a corner about something, the first thing he does is call a mechanic. In my book, their just a go between so the mech. doesn't have to stop what he's doing everytime someone drives in. His primary job is appointment setter, and work assigner.
If this sounds like a sev. rep. bashing, your right! I don't like them. I had one tell me once that the fingerprint from brake fluid on my Electric metalic blue paint was on there before they worked on it. I simply ask him, did you see it there when I brought it in? he said no. I said "well then, Paint it!" I had it back in two days later with new paint on the fender! Never let a service rep BS you if you know better!

Rippin92RS

Some guy once told me "If you pinch the exhaust pipe(s) ALMOST shut, it'll give you more power." Haha I laughed in pity for days.

-Rippin

sqzbox

Do you think he was serious? or pulling your leg maybe? I didn't think anybody could be that ignorant!!

FAST RS

Get this i took my moms new altima in for service. 3 days prior i did a oil change mobil 1 filter and oil. He was all you are do for an oil change. I said i just had it done 2 days prior. AS soon as i said that he stated that because i used a non genuine nissan oil filter it will void my warranty on the engine. Then he said Synthetic oil is got "older/high milage cars" I let him go and do his happy little oil change. Right after that i called my credit card company disputed the charges. Called nissen and told them what he had said. Then called the BBB and filed a complaint on him. I told the BBB and Nissan i wont let this matter drop until the service manager who said that was gone so he could not do this to other innocent customers. I filed the complaint 3 weeks ago still havent heard back from the BBB. The lady at the BBB said that she ownes a nissan and has never herd a non oe oil filter will void the warranty.

Any one ever hear of putting sawdust in your tranny to stop it from slipping?

Rippin92RS

Nope, he was dead serious. I asked him how and he said "It gives you more backpressure."

-Rippin

sqzbox

And he was a shop instructor? That's sad man!

Fast-rs; No But it might make sense to an Idiot!
But I have heard of putting banana pealings in a manual to quiet it down before you sell it!

Ken Ruether

I can't remember how many times I have had people tell me that their air cooled VW Bug or Bus needed a head gasket and then argue when I told them air cooled VW's don't have head gaskets.

I love it when someone tells me they are going to make their car faster by putting a cam into it. I then tell them that their engine already has a cam in it. You will be supprised how many people will argue that their engine doesn't have a cam in it.

My wife and son (about 8 years old at the time) are walking through a parking lot and find a lady with the hood up on her car. The engine is turning over but won't start. She starts telling my wife that the battery on her car is dead. My son corrects her and said that the engine is turning over just fine and that he doesn't think it is getting any spark. Her response is "Your just a child, you don't know what your talking about" and then procedes to ask if my wife has jumper cables.

Someone yesterday was trying to tell me that a car with TPI doesn't have a throttle body.

My favorite is the woman that goes into the auto parts store and wants to buy a "710 cap". The counter person isn't sure what she is talking about and calls the manager.
She insists that it is called a "710 cap" and it goes on the engine. They finally ask her to draw a picture of this cap so she draws a circle and writes 710 inside the circle when the manager who is on the other side of the counter starts to laugh. It seems that "710" upside down translates into OIL. ; )

Ken

sqzbox

That woman with the 710 cap was a blonde wasn't she?

FBird84

Here's one

I was gonna race a friend at work he has an 86 Monte Carlo. He asks me what type of engine do i have and i say a stock 305 he says his is a 305 beefed up to a 350.

So i ask him how did he do that and he says flowmaster exhaust and a K & N filter.

I just said cool.

He lost by 2 car lengths and his tire came off.

FAST RS

When i worked at autozone a guy came in and purchased a battary. a Hour later he calls and insists his battary is bad. I told him that cant be he insists it is and gets all pissed off at me because i sold him a bad battary. I told him to come in and let me have a look at it. He comes in all pissed i look at the battary and Saw the cap that goes on the post was all chewed up. I asked if he had removed the cap. What cap he says. The one thats chewed up. Funny how his attitude changed.

Morley

I've always wondered how many people have tried to put the top post cables on with those caps still over the posts.

MechCD

Back when I bought my Firebird, my freinds were all asking what it had etc.... Then came the carburetor discussion. I said it had fuel injecion. Of course my one semi-knowledgeable friend said I need to redo the carb. I told him that I didn't have a carb and he told me the engine wouldn't run without a carb. This went on for about a month. I got mixed results from different friends. It seemed that they all thought the carb mixed fuel with air (true) and that the injectors fed the carb (not really true). They were thinking of the injectors basically as fuel pumps. I finally threw the books at them anbd showed pictures and diagrams of how the fuel injector (with other components) was the modern replacement for a carb. FInally, the one that had been insisting I had a carb said that he was a small engine guy, and the other just kinda shut up. We still joke about it though.

CAMp3RO

ok, dont hate me for work at advance auto, but at least we're better than auto zone . i hear all the great questions all day. but we love to prank one of our other stores (kinda a competition between the two stores in town).

the water pump on the old beetles is always a good one. as is asking for parts to an 83 corvette. or fuel injectors to a 73 mopar. love the kids who come in complaining that the exhaust tip they just bought isnt loud enough.

i just love the fact that everyone thinks my car is untouchable cause it can do 14s (should be lower with a bit of tuning, esp. carb), since all the imports there are 16+

dimented24x7

iTrader: (2)

lol... my friend is one of the import guys thats more toward the look then actual performance. He never knew that the coolant, gearbox lube, etc. in the car had to be changed on a periodic basis. His car had gone so far on the factory plugs that the car wouldnt even start because the electrodes where so worn. He jsut about thought i was *** when i changed the plugs and got his car running again. Jesus, no offense to him but some people should have to take a class on automotive matainence before they can own a car. Its amazing how little the average motorists actually know.

FAST RS

When i worked at autozone we had widdager which said how the store was doing as far as sales. Well a new guy came in and they were haveing a contest between the stores for 100 dollars. Well i had my G/F come in and say her dad wanted to buy a engine for a 83 vette His eyes lit up. He was searching and could not figure out why there was no 83 vette in the computer. So he went down a year to 82 and up to 84 but i had her insist that it be for an 83 because of special injection. It was extreamly funny to wach him attepmpt to look it up.

bad@ss89camaro

my freind brung his dads truck to me to change the brakes so when i took the tire off he looked at me and said
HIM=i dint know you had to take the rim off
ME=yep if you want to change brakes
HIM=the whole rim?

and the sad thing is he is 18 lol
i didnt make that up either i promise imtelling the truth
THE WHOLE TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!
lol

Tibo

iTrader: (15)

I was told (by a *****) that if you remove the mass air flow sensor on a car you would gain 5-15 horsepower. My brother's neighbor told me that they removed the fuel management system from their eclipse and made "Like an extra 35 horsepower at the rear wheels!"

bigals87z28

BABHAHAHAH!! THATS THE TOP STORY!

ahaha remove the mass air flow and gain 5-15hp. and RWHP in a wrong wheel car... too funny. good one!