Ok, this one was pretty damn funny, Im sorry, I laughed all day today on this one.....

Yesterday afternoon, i was running up to AutoZone to pick up a couple tools and parts I needed. So, Im in there and a dude talks to me bout ThirdGen Camaros and I asked him if hed ever checked on this site and he says hes a frequest visitor and has been on here for a couple years now, Great to meet a fellow ThirdGenner! So scarce around here. anyways, he leaves and about 5 minutes later, as I wait in line for Moses the AZ employee to hurry up and get the line movin, this little **** yellow Ford Focus pulls up, fart cannon and all, he revs it up and stuff thinkin its soooo cool. So, anyways, damn Moses gets to me finally and he doesnt know what ACCEL or MSD is (I hate AZ really, I swear my 2 year old nephew could outsmart these people lol). Anywho, Im browsin for my last few minor pieces, and the young Focus dude, with his G/F is talkin bout how the "blue lights would make my car pimp" and " Man, I need to get that strut tower bar" (it was for a Civic BTW lol). Anyways, I ignore the fool and walk up to check out with my basket full of Performance goodies. So, im in line and this guy was buyin an Import Mag and some blue little interior lights. So, after I check out and pop the hatch and put my stuff into my trunk when Focus guy approaches me and says, "Man, you drive this raggedy thing. Is it even turbocharged man? Do you have NAWWWWS?"

I reply " No, neither. I prefer going all motor before I put on Power Adders."
So then he says something that almost made me literally die of laughing. "Man, my car is internally turbocharged. Makes like 300 horses." So im like "Really now, so what kind of times you runnin at Valley (1/8th mi. track)?"
He said "Man, my cars too fast for that, they banned me because Im too fast."
At this point, Im about to explode with laughter but Im trying real hard not to, so I figure this gys needs his little Ego Balloon popped.

"Wow, well, you wanna give me a shot man? Id like to race if ya dont mind?"

So he says, "Sure but be warned....I've got NAWWWWS!"

So, I tell him to follow me and while Im doing so, I give my cousin a call, who has a V8 s10 and then I give my buddy Bryon and call, hes a Lincoln Lover lol. Anyways, we get to this secluded stretch, no homes or anything, away from people because truthfully, I didnt want to risk people in this idiot, I didnt really trust his driving skills, he sounded too much like a TFATF wanna-be. SO, my cousin and Bryon get there like 5 minutes after I do and my cousin goes to the end and Bryon gets us lined up. I'm gettin all pumped up, ready to run, figurin Ill lose but its all in good fun. SO, Bryon checks us then flags us down and I nail it hard and the little RS plants the tires, no burnin out or anything, just pure take off and I get him by like a car out of the hole, Im holdin first till 6000 and then shift and I start pulling hard and fast, i hit Third and Im like 2 cars ahead of him by now and when we cross the line, I had him by nearly 2 1/2 cars.

So, we both pull over and I ask him to pop his hood and hes all stunned, his G/F is all mad cause he lost. I look under his hood and Bryon does too and walks off laughing....Dude has a crappy painted yellow cold arm of sorts, and thats it. Im asking why he didnt hit his Nitrous, said he wanted to "give me a fighting chance". LOL. So, I was curious where his wastegate was for his turbo, he said his is "so high-tech" it doesnt need one. LMFAO anyways, I shook his hand, told him good race, and we parted ways and he leaves then me, bryon, and my cousin bust out laughing, it was so funny, "internal turbo", "high tech" and all that stuff was just too funny. So, anywho, I endned up getting sidetracked by only 25-30 minutes, so no major time lost on continuing the build up on the LG4 T-top Well, this is goin in my record book for the funniest of all time. lol

 

lol that some funny stuff. i've got some moronic uncle ben's drivers out here in MN. but thats pretty damn funny

 

shoulda asked the girl wanan ride with a real man in a real car

jon

 

I thought your motor was torn down with stuck lifters and stuff?

edit: you have two thirdgens

 

Street racing went straight down the crapper the day F&F came out, christ im surprised the guy wasn't looking for stronger floorpan bolts(cause we all know what can happen with that big shot of nawwwws) I think I might have gotten an e-mail from this guys brother a while back Oh crap im on the wrong screen name, i will log quick so i can post it for your viewing pleasure.

 

More r1cer stupidity, granted there are dumb ***** everywhere these days, but the r1cers seem to be the worst. This is an email I got in response to my AOL profile.

YOU CAN SAY YOU CAN SMOKE ANYTHING HUh??????????
WELLL BUDDY I GOT A FORD PROBE WITH A klze JAP INJEN IN IT IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT **** MAIL ME BACK AND I COULD TEACH YOU HOW TO SMOKE **** WITH YOUR A-SPEC ****, I KNOW YOU DROPED AND ENGINE IN YOUR BAD *** EVERYDAY RUN OF A CAR BUT IF U WANNA REALLY RACE MAIL ME . I COULD SMOKE ANY LITTLE BOW TIE IN THIS ****. That is running a little bow tie like yourself, get a real car like a vette if you wanna drop some dollars. By the way if you did drop that in there your car would stick out and I mean stick out like the body of the car would look like you just f*cked a fat chick on halloween dressed in drag, so either your a f*g or you got enuff Nuts race the track.--------------- anyway dont bother mailing me this is more then you could handle. for half the price fool>.

My response to this was short and sweet "Were you real drunk when you wrote that, or are you just retarded?" And I never got a response back, maybe I will drop this guy a line and see if he still wants a go

 

I've heard so many stories like this, that I learned that anytime someone approaches you, they are automatically full of s hit. Live and learn for that guy I guess. He drove like an assclown all the way out to the spot didn't he? *Shakes head*

 

thats funny as ****

how come you only had him by 2.5 cars you shoulda had more i would think

 

***, reminds me of a vid I saw once of a ***** trying to tell people that his alternator was his turbo.

Good kill man, chalk up one more for the good side

 

Just be thankful he was not in a SVT Focus...He might have given you a run. I just do not understand the kids these days....They want some respect, but do not give RESPECT!!!!! Glad you wasted him.......

Later

 

You really think so?

 

I thought he was joking at first, but if he only put two cars on him, maybe yeah.

 

Only two cars is pretty sad. And why would you hold it until 6K??? That poor little lo3!

 

There is this guy that rides around town where we cruse and he has a toyota echo black w/ a huge A$$ silver dragon on the side and the fart can and all oh and the green painted rear drum brakes. well anyway he wants to race me real bad and he is tryin to tell me he is pushin 350hp w/ nos. i was tempted to laugh but i didnt wanna be an ***. he also thinks that he will kill me off the line and that i will never be able to beat his 1.5 liter of furry. once i get my u joints replaced ill show him what a real car is. even if it is a lg4

 

ARe you serious? Thats the most retarded thing i have ever heard. I am nieve to the world sometimes, but I dont believe someone can be that stupid. I mean come on, have they seen real motors before? They'd have to recognize that turbos are on exhaust manifolds. Mom and Dad buys the kid a civic or whatever and their ego goes thru the roof thinking they got a real car. yeah its the fastest thing they've driven, but these kids need to take a spin in a REAL car. Something quicker than 14's. 12's would make them wet their pants. Can you say reality check?

Soon their gonna have to add a required class in highschool just to educate people on how a motor works. LOL but seriously, they need it.

I have meet some car idiots but that has to take the cake. Internally turbocharged and alternator as turbo. Wow, it just causes my head to spin when I try to understand why someone would do that. I am the first to admit, if i dont know something, I dont play it off as i am a genius or anything or try to act like i have an idea of what your talking about. It doesnt make sense.

 

that's bad for the focus any way you look at it.
#1 he has a lo3 and still took him by 2 1/2 cars ouch!
#2 I posted the times for a lo3 5-speed camaro sc in 88 that was tested NEW and ran a high 15's. so at best his car would be doing the same (since his car is not new I would venture not even) I would guess the ford was running good 16 sec. 1/4 times?


these guys are right though. I hear these kids claiming all sorts of times(they all run at least a 13 or 12 sec. 1/4)

next time just tell the stupid guy to go back to his cheap pos because no one is stupid enough to belive anything he has to say.

 

there is a guy here in town, with a 90 eclipse, new black paintjob, puke green rims, low prof wheels, and the fart can angled about 45 deg. off the right side, so he comes over my house sayin his car is going to be all pimp **** when he drops the new 2.8 in it, (btw his car is like a 2.0 i think) so im thinking, great... now he thinks hes bad ***, so i ask him how much he wants to put down that he can beat the 383, either one of them, and never got a response....silly r!ce boy.....

 

my friend and i love messin w/ em he has a 83 camaro and he likes to be a smart *** and tell them the old joke "Your car has 1.6 liters as to my mt. dew has 2?" i think its f***in hilarious but he is gona get shot one day. oh and this guy yesterday was at the top of my road in his lil lowered civic w/ black hood and pipe and he saw me and my friends gettin in my car so he started it up let it bounce off 5500rpm then shut it off so we didnt stand for that so when we left i had to just haul *** out of there smokin tires and all. we also had a ram 3500 duallie wanna race me to that was a easy win.

 

Well only reason i won by only 2 1/2 cars was that after about halfway, i threw my shifter into OD and kept the throttle at about 3/4, prettym uch letting out alot, and thats really why he was catching on me, I didnt wanna have him committing suidcide or anything over my little LO3 For real, he was hitting his rev limiter like every gear and I mean, The biggest lead was like 4 cars I think but I figured I was gonna beat him anyways, so why dog my motor any more than I had, So i let out and let it keep the lead. Still was funny, cause I tried racing a Riced out civic tonight and the dude told me "Hell naw man, I heard bout you dustin off my bud's Turbo Focus man, and he never gets beat. His car is whack man, hes already blown the doors off this Vette and Viper."

OK, when I was laughing to death ANd analyzing what he said, Here's what i saw:

1. This guy is obviously a complete retard as well, cause he doesnt know what a Turbo is either lol. Never gets beat huh? By what, a grandma in her CaddY? lol, she could dust him off if she wanted lmao.

2. Must have meant the "other" Vette. Viper, what,was he too busy laughing to race him?

Anyways, The LO3 is about done racing all together. I might be dropping an LT1 or putting a 350 Vortech motor in it, not sure really, if its the Vortech then im building it alot but if its an Lt1, i wontreally mod it much. One this is for certain, Ive almost got the T-top up and running again and I cant wait to go out and burn some ricers up and send them back to the "cabinet". lol

 

There is a thread on Honda-tech named "What's the biggest BS/lie you've ever heard in relation to cars," and it's litterally 15 pages of stupid things that people have said. At least 1 in 4 of them has to do with pointing to some vague part of the engine saying that it was turbocharged. I don't associate myself with such people. It's unfortunate that they happen to drive imports.

 

He probably has one of those turbo airfoils.

 

Don't worry man, there is a guy who used to try and kick it with all the racers around here who claimed his bone stock "all original" 79 trans am was a 12 sec. car., and a kid who put concrete in the trunk of his nova because he couldn't launch it properly.

 

While I'll agree ALOT of import drivers have the Fast and Furious disease, it HAS spread to domestic cars as well.

In my opinion, I think it has a lot to do with the cars in last few years, that came from the showroom floor fairly quick in stock trim.

I see more than a few Mustang GT and Cobra owners, as well as 4th gen F-Body owners with this attitude...they think that nothing can beat them.

Case in point... a few months ago.. me and a buddy of mine are at a friend's house and we happened to drive his old '68 Nova that night. Now the Nova is a VERY straight, rust-free Western car...BUT it's bodywork has been limited to being media blasted and coated in tan epoxy primer. And it's not really a sleeper, considering the lift off cowl hood, and Weld wheels all the way around with skinny's in front and a pretty fat tire in back, courtesy of a little "Trim" work with the sawsall on the rear fender wells.....

This is a mid 11 second car on street tires... ( okay drag radials ). and with a pretty healthy 408 w/ a good size solid roller cam, it's got a pretty stout idle / rumble to it.


We were on the way back to his house, and I was driving, when a late model Trans Am w/ a Ram Air hood passes us. This is on an old 2 lane state highway, about 10pm on a weekday, and there is zero traffic.

The TA throttles back, and as we catch up, the passenger leans out the window and starts asking us if we want to run "Grandma's car.....to see if it will keep up with REAL muscle..."


Let's just say the owner / driver wasn't too happy when we put 3 car lengths on him pretty quickly....TWICE....

Funny thing is, a couple of years ago, the Nova's look and rumble alone would keep anyone from really wanting to race...now it seems everytime we take it out someone wants to play...


The best ever, was the last time he took the Nova to the track he lined up next to a newer model Cobra...this was on a Friday night so there were alot of imports and domestics out there.

He beat the Cobra....and the owner could NOT believe that the "old Chevy" beat him that bad, ESPECIALLY out of the hole. He went on and on about how the Nova must have Nitrous. When we popped to hood for him and a few of his buddy's, imagine how disappointed they were to see such a simple, spartan engine bay... headers that are beginning to rust, an oxidized alum intake, a swap meet open element air cleaner, and just about nothing else. No power steering, no power brakes, no AC, no Nitrous...nothing else.

Guess it's catching....

 

79 TA was a 12 second car. Anyone here of the 1/8 mile?

 

I dont know what is wrong with kids these days myself. I had one at a gas station come up to me and start talking about racing. He was driving a newer camaro, def. an LS1 car. I was giving his car respect, he asked me what I had. I ran down a shortened list, leaned in and hit the key. When he heard the lopey idle, he asked me if it was missing or what? Then he told me that If I got some Bosch platinum +4's it would get rid of that, and idle as smooth as his. I just laughed and said "OK man, whatever"

 

LS1 Camaro - $15,000 of dadys money.

Insurance for LS1 Camaro - $2,500 of dadys money.

Not knowing what a cammed engine sounds like - Priceless.

 

_

 

Got a better one for ya...

$40k for a used LS1 Vette
$5k in mods
$200 at the restaurant to impress the girl you took out
Getting smoked by a primered Nova with 4 guys in it, and the driver ( me ) eating his Whopper with one hand on the wheel.


LMAO

 

I got the best one!

I got flagged down draggin main street by a guy in an old pickup caked in mud with prolly 38 inch tires (the Chrome tips were perfectly polished and shiney but the rest of the car looked like ***)

Anyhow the guy says that my car is not supercharged cause he can't hear it "screaming" I show him and he says that my car aint **** and he has a 66 mustang that started out as a 351 and ended up as a 488 Big Block, I ask him how hard the engine swap was and he said "I bored it as big as it would go" I was like hm.......(trying not to laugh)

he ask me what kind of gas mileage I got and I told him it was real bad because I was supercharged with 36lb injectors, he said "that aint nuttin I'm runnin 150lb injectors in my mustang with a 18 gear truck transmission and I can do 180 in 10th gear" I BUSTED OUT LAUGHING SO HARD

I said lets race since I knew the guy was totally full of ****, the guy said "my friend took it to vegas for his wedding and they got there in 8 hours (i'm near dallas)

I think the guy was a drug addict or seriously so retarded that he had no idea what he was talking about

 

BEWARE!!!! Most of the H-T kills regular don't even drive Hondas. In fact , about 40% of them drive Mustangs and Camaros. So don't think you can go in there like a tough guy and talk s hit. They know what they are talking about, and you won't last long.

**NOTE: I've had people tell me on several occasions to go back to an import board where I belong, well guess what, a large amount of people that I talk to on import boards don't own imports, so I'll stick around.

I can't find the original one but here is the second one:
http://www.honda-tech.com/zerothread?id=948083

Here is a fun one for you guys:
http://www.honda-tech.com/zerothread?id=972678

Here is the general link to the kills section:
http://www.honda-tech.com/zeroforum?...ays=365&page=1

 

Screamin86: my friend and i love messin w/ em he has a 83 camaro and he likes to be a smart *** and tell them the old joke "Your car has 1.6 liters as to my mt. dew has 2?" i think its f***in hilarious but he is gona get shot one day.


thats me

 

if you have a funny story about some poser that thinks he knows about cars and has told you some silly comment about his or yours post em here ....

https://www.thirdgen.org/techbb2/sho...hreadid=260478